Dear Gold Nuts:

Hey guys, it’s your pal Financial Uproar here.

I have to admit, you guys are entertaining. You have all sorts of interesting theories about what’s going to happen in the world. You believe that the U.S. dollar is going to zero. You believe the Euro is going to zero. You believe all sorts of other things are going to zero. Heck, even some of you have loaded up on bullets, vegetable seeds and bought a nice little piece of land in the mountains. You know, just in case the you know what hits the fan, you’re prepared. I understand, I guess.

Lately though, you guys have been getting on my nerves. Your constant comments about the world coming to an end just don’t keep coming true. And I don’t know if you noticed, but we got pretty close a couple of years ago. Yes, gold performed well during that stretch, I’ll admit that. As the world returned to normal, so did the stock market. We took you seriously for a little while, and then we expelled you to the land of crazy where you belonged.

With this whole Greece mess, you kids have been back with a vengeance. This is the beginning of a bigger debt problem you scream! First Greece, then Italy, Portugal, Spain, perhaps the U.K., with this whole mess ending up with a massive sell off of the U.S. dollar as the whole world drowns under their debt. The world is going to end! Stock up on the gold and non-perishables!

Betting on the end of the world is a sucker’s game. Here’s why. If you’re right, then shiny pieces of metal are hardly going to save you. The world is screwed, taking you right along with it. You might have it a little better than the average person if that happens. Congratulations.

Chances are, you’ll be wrong. The world hasn’t ended yet. The catastrophic economic event came, changed the world, and now has largely left. Your favorite asset did well during that time. Good for you, getting that one right. I’m patting you on the back right now. Gold is at record levels. Wouldn’t now be the time to get out? Ever heard of that buy low sell high thing?

You should keep some of your gold. Experts recommend 5% of your portfolio should be in the shiny metal. While I have absolutely nothing in gold, I can’t really disagree with their reasoning. Go ahead and keep a little gold and get rid of the rest at these high levels. Return back to reality with the rest of us. Please, I’m asking you nicely.

Besides, you guys must be a bummer at parties.

Tell everyone, yo!