Oh snap! You weren’t expecting this today, were you?
Here’s the deal: today is my birthday. And, for the Americans reading this blog, it’s also Canada Day. In my town Canada Day is kind of a big deal. There’s a parade, then all sorts of activities all around town, and finally the day ends with fireworks. What am I supposed to do, write a post on my birthday? HELL NO.
Canada Day is the only day Canadians are even the least bit patriotic, with the exception of big national hockey games. It’s actually one of the best things about being Canadian. We just don’t give two craps about it. Besides, I think we’re a little shy about the whole patriotism thing, since our neighbours are so into it.
Random Thing That Irritated Me This Week
Any restaurant who puts a hot air hands dryer in their bathroom deserves every imaginable bit of misery to come their way. What a horrible idea.
They always take way the hell too long. I’m standing under the damn thing for like 3 minutes, rubbing my hands together, before I inevitably swear in disgust and dry my hands on my dirty pants, HENCE CANCELLING OUT MY EARLIER HAND WASHING.
The air intake vent is always located on the bathroom side of the unit. That means I’m drying my hands with recycled bathroom air. When I’m done in the bathroom, I want nothing to do with that air. IT SMELLS LIKE POO. That poo air has now been transferred to my hands, HENCE CANCELLING OUT MY EARLIER HAND WASHING.
What does a year’s worth of paper towel cost a restaurant anyway? All of $28.42? Oh yeah, that’s really going to eat into profit margins.
Random Thing I Enjoyed This Week
Basically the only restaurant my town has that anyone has heard of (besides fast food places anyway) is Boston Pizza.
The nice folks at BPs sent me an email giving me a coupon for a free pasta dish or dessert, giving me two whole weeks to use it. I did what any enterprising young individual would do: printed out several copies with plans to use them at various Boston Pizza locations.
Thanks, suckers!
Random Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
Itunes, give me some sugar baby! No whammy, no whammy, stop!
Being that it’s Canada Day, I can think of no better choice.
Listen all the way to the end for the William Shatner cameo. Everything’s better when… William… Shatner… shows… up…
Simpsons Quote Of The Week
Gay Pride Marchers: We’re here. We’re queer. Get used to it.
Lisa: We are used to it. You do this every year!
Blogging Snack of The Week
I was so hungry last night I seriously considered murdering a man and eating his flesh. I better start snacking some more or something.
I had a cheesestick today, wrapped in bacon. Before I bought it, this sounded like the greatest thing ever. As I ate it though, I realized it wasn’t anything more than the sum of its parts. It was just a piece of bread, covered in cheese and bacon. Kinda meh if you ask me.
Still, you should try it, assuming you can ever find one.
Entertain Yourself, Dammit
I’ve golfed a few times over the last couple weeks, and golf just pisses me off these days.
I used to be around a 15-18 handicap, which isn’t so bad. Now that I only play a half dozen times a year, I’m lucky if I break 50 for nine holes. I’m so damn inconsistent. The last time I golfed, I putted for birdie 4 times, yet was still 13 over for 9 holes. I’ll have a great hole, and immediately follow it up with a complete garbage hole.
Plus, golf is so expensive. My local course charges $41 for nine holes. Combine that with not playing worth a crap, and golf doesn’t really do it for me anymore. Yet I just can’t quit.
What was the point of that rant? Oh right, you should go golfing this weekend.
Babe Loosely Related To Finance
Let’s stick with the patriotic theme and go with a Canadian hottie for this week’s eye candy.
If you want more of Ashley Leggat, she’s on some stupid show on The Family Channel, which is only tolerable when she’s wearing something that shows off her hot body. Believe me, I know.
Oh Right, Time For Links
I continued my run of writing pure quality for Canadian Finance Blog, enlightening you peons on why I don’t have a budget. I still maintain getting ahead financially is as simple as saving 10% and living off the rest.
My girl Kayla from Finance… Say What gives us all an update on her vagina. I’m not even kidding.
Sandy’s Tenant From Hell is now threatening her with police action. Wow. Just think though, the next tenant just has to be better!
Dividend Ninja interviewed one of my favorite bloggers, Andrew Hallam. Andrew’s book is coming out soon, which will definitely be worth a read. Plus, he’s always really nice to me, which is clearly much more than I deserve.
My fellow Canadian Finance writer Jim Yih has a nice outline on reverse mortgages. If I was a billion years old, I’d totally consider one just to screw my kids out of an inheritance. (okay, not really)
If you take 42 hours to count out your change in front of Len Penzo, he will hurt you. And by hurt you, I really mean complain about you on his blog. Still, I’m shaking in my shorts.
Evan from My Journey To Millions talks about actively managed and industry specific ETFs, both of which aren’t bad options.
Larry McDonald is worried about a potential correction in Canada’s housing market. He has some ideas on how to take the froth out of the market now.
And finally, Mike from The Oblivious Investor tells everyone out there to stop trying to get a perfect portfolio. If you don’t, he will fight you.
Carnivals I Was In This Week
None percent.
Have a good week everyone.
Thanx for the mention, and Happy Birthday LOL
Your interviews are awesome Ninja. I’m trying to steal your bit and interview a particular investor I like a ton. If he ever says yes that is…
Hey Uproar,
When I run with my wife, she often asks me to tell her a story (to distract her). I do my best, and generally add something that I’ve read from your blog. So carnival or not, your blog gets talked about half a world away on jungle (Singapore runs). Other blogs are good too, but they don’t make the grade for jungle run conversations with my wife. She would rather hear about recycled bathroom air canceling out hand washing rather than some dividend paying stock.
Ha ha. That’s awesome. Glad my pointless stories make it all the way back to Singapore!
For some reason, most of the ladies don’t care about investing
That’s just one of the reasons why they’re awesome.
I just had to comment quickly to say that you’re a douchebag. Standing at a hand dryer for 15 seconds really causes you so much grief? You should probably take an anger management class.
Why kill trees because you can’t wait half the length of a commercial to dry your hands? Maybe you should lay off the cheesesticks wrapped in bacon, and maybe you’d have the stamina to stand for that short window of time.
I love every bit of that comment.
Happy Canada Day/birthday, and kudos for picking a Canadian actress/model. Too bad the bacon cheesestick wasn’t more heavenly … it sounds amazing.
Thanks for the birthday wish.
I’ve only ever seen the bacon cheesestick in one place, so buy one if you get the chance.