I should put a picture of Brad Pitt here to keep the ladies interested, but I’m not going to. Go click on my about page if you want a picture of a sexy mug.

A couple of weeks ago, I went and watched Moneyball, mostly because I liked the book an unreasonable amount. The story chronicles the Oakland Athletics during the 2002 Major League Baseball season. After the 2001 season, the A’s lost three of their best players to free agency, meaning General Manager Billy Beane had to improvise. He didn’t have the payroll that other teams did, so he had to pick up players that could equal the production of the departed free agents, but at a fraction of the cost. (Spoiler alert!) He ends up finding those players, and after a slow start, the A’s end up winning their division, only to ultimately lose to the Minnesota Twins in the playoffs.

In the movie, Beane hired a guy named Peter Brand (who is based on Paul DePosta in real life) who was using advanced statistics to measure the value of players. Brand threw out statistics like batting average, exchanging it for on base percentage, a figure that measures walks along with batting average. RBIs are discounted greatly, because they’re dependant on who gets on base before you. This school of thought is called Sabermetrics, and as you can imagine, there was a great deal of resistance by old school baseball folks when people started looking at statistics differently.

Anyway, I’m boring you with baseball talk. If you want a very limited explanation of what Sabermetrics consists of, go see the movie. And if you’re looking for something a little more in depth, go read the book. As always, it’s better than the movie.

Anyway, back to the thesis. What can Moneyball teach you about investing?

Firstly, Moneyball stresses the importance of doing your research. The reason Beane and Brand were able to identify undervalued players is the amount of time they dedicated to the pursuit. Computer programs were built just for analyzing baseball data. Countless hours of research went into discovering a new way to identify a more effective way of disseminating this data. They were mocked for not having lives, and they didn’t care.

As a Moneyball investor, you need to spend the time doing your homework. Annual reports will be your new friend, along with listening to conference calls, countless web searches, and digesting other investor’s thoughts about whatever company you’re interested in. You will not cry when mocked for having no life. Okay, you can a little… IF YOU’RE A GIRL.

In the movie, Oakland picks up David Justice after the Yankees agree to pay a large portion of his salary just to make him go away. The hope was, for Oakland, that Justice would regain enough of his former glory to be a useful addition. When Oakland traded for Justice, it was well known that his speed and fielding range were suffering, thanks to a career full of knee injuries.

If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you can probably tell where I’m going with this. Contrarian investors have no problem investing in something where the short term outlook isn’t great. They take a look past public perception to the inner workings of the company, taking a good long look at the financial statements. Once they find a company the public hates with a strong balance sheet and is still making money, they’ll pounce, and then just wait for the turnaround.

Yeah, sometimes the turnaround doesn’t happen. I’ve held stocks for years that have floundered and did absolutely nothing. I’ve also had stocks that have both succeeded and failed equally spectacularly. The beauty of investing this way is that when a stock works out for you, it really works out for you. It’s just like in Moneyball. David Justice had low expectations, and taking a gamble was a high risk high reward scenario- except the Yankees paid most of his salary, significantly reducing the risk for Oakland. You should invest like that.

The movie touches on this next topic a little, but the book delves into it in much more detail. When drafting players, teams would look at tools more than they’d look at actual statistics. This means that when a scout would go watch a player play, he’d look at how athletic his swing was, rather than how good the player was at getting on base. Players who didn’t look athletic were hardly given the time of day, no matter how good their stats were. Players were rewarded more for potential than actual performance.

People make the same mistakes investing. For a while this summer, Netflix traded at over 100 times earnings. Investors were gaga over Netflix not because performance was good (which, admittedly, it was) but because of the potential for even greater future performance. As a result of that rosy looking future, investors were willing to pay a huge premium to get their hands on the next big thing.

Sometimes, the next big thing works out for investors. Both Google and Apple traded at some very high multiples to their earnings, yet both delivered consistently for years, letting the earnings catch up to the share price, thereby making their valuations much more reasonable. Google and Apple are the 1st round draft picks that work out. To switch sports for a second, there’s always a Alexander Diagle to compliment a Sidney Crosby. Sometimes, the high flying stocks come crashing back down.

If you want to learn about value investing and can’t bear to pick up an investing book, Moneyball would be a decent place to start. You’re probably going to have to pick up an investing book at some point if you want to learn about, you know, investing. Might I recommend some in my reading list?

Zing! Ended this one with a shameless plug!

*Oh, and P.S., the movie doesn’t even mention the fact that Oakland got ridiculously good starting pitching during 2002, thereby making moves for those hitters much less important.

Also, congratulate the winner of the Wealthy Barber Returns book, Holy Potato, with his entry- Financial Uproar: doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, I’m the loudest. Join the UPROAR. I’ll be emailing Potato soon. Thanks everyone for entering.

 

Remember how I was giving away a copy of The Wealthy Barber Returns a couple of weeks ago? Of course you do, since you clearly cannot get enough of me. Well, I’m glad one of us did, because I totally forgot about it until Change On A Budget reminded me about it on the Twitter. I thank her for the reminder, but don’t think that’s going to increase your chances of winning, missy!

Anyhoo, I still have to harass my impartial judge to get off his ass and judge me a winner. (You know who you are) I’ll totally announce the winner on Monday. I promise this time.

On a financial note, even though I did recently write an article for Canadian Finance Blog about how I’m in no hurry to pay down my mortgage, I did call the bank who has my mortgage and upped my payments by a couple hundred bucks. The amount I was paying was laughably low considering my income. When I got the mortgage, my income was less certain than it is now, so I didn’t want to go nuts with the payments.

Still, I’m not turning into one of those guys who invests in nothing but his mortgage. Those people need a lesson on diversification.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

I’m going with the low hanging fruit this week. It’s the Halloween special, Monster Mash.

Maybe I should make tonight my annual trip out to the bar, just to check out the girls dressed up like sluts sexy whatevers. And then these girls get mad when guys don’t respect them in the morning.

Simpsons Quote Of The Week

Homer: These quizzes are never wrong, Marge! They’re put together by the finest scientists in the magazine business!

Gambling Is Fun

I returned to respectability last week, with my picks going 2-1. This ups my overall record to 2-4, meaning all I need is another respectable week to go back to .500.

I’m taking Carolina plus the goal and a half against the suddenly struggling Flyers. Give me Houston minus the 10 points against the Jacksonville Jaguars (move that team to Los Angeles already) and I’m taking the over in the Browns/49ers game, since 38.5 points is pretty low. This is literally how much thought I put into my gambling picks. If any of you are picking what I do in an attempt to make money, you are truly a moron.

A Post You Might Have Missed

My archives are sexier than that time I took off my shirt. Yes, it’s only happened once.

I contemplated spending $500 on a portable dishwasher, thinking it would save me money because I’d eat at home more. I don’t mind cooking, but I do hate cleaning up afterwards. A year later, I have no dishwasher, and I still eat the majority of my meals away from my house. It’s nice to see laziness winning out.

The More You Know

Random Wikipedia article time bitches!

Cauim is a traditional alcoholic beverage made by the indigenous people of Brazil and Columbia. It is still made today in remote parts of South America. And in case you wanted your own recipe, it’s made by fermenting manioc (a large starchy root) or maize, and adding fruit juice. Someone should make this so I won’t try it.

Pick A Stock. Any Stock.

General Electric isn’t quite in contrarian territory anymore, but I think it’s still a solid buy at these levels. Since GE is so big and diversified, it’s basically a play on the entire economy recovering. That’ll happen eventually, so just sit back and enjoy the 3% dividend to wait. My Dad (on my recommendation, thank you) bought his on the way down at around $12 a share, so I’d back up the truck if it ever got below $15 again. It could easily double in the next 5 years.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

I’m going to a football game this afternoon. So let’s go with a sexy cheerleader, this one jumps up and down the sidelines of the Houston Texans.

Hey Maxim: it doesn’t matter what her name is.

Time For Links

I think the fine folks at Don’t Quit Your Day Job put all sorts of fancy graphs and junk in their posts just so I have to click through and go to their site. Well, at least one of their posts is worth it, as they explore whether art and philosophy majors should pay higher student loan rates. I’m giving this post the highest Financial Uproar award of saying it doesn’t suck.

My online girlfriend/cousin Sandy from Yes I Am Cheap talks about building niche websites. I always wonder at what point will the niche website business become so saturated that nobody makes any money. It obviously hasn’t happened yet.

If you’re not reading Ken Jennings (the former Jeopardy champ) then we can’t be friends anymore. Check out his hilarious I am the 99% post.

Interesting post from Echo over at Canadian Finance Blog, about tipping. It’s funny how people in the hospitality business are ALWAYS in favor of tipping. Wait, that’s not funny at all.

Speaking of Canadian Finance Blog, I was back this week, writing about the effects tattoos can have on your career prospects. I bet if you’re a hot chick and are willing to sleep with your boss to get ahead, that having a tat could actually help your career.

One of my many internet ladyfriends K (she’s all anonymous and mysterious now) wrote a post about her childhood experiences with money and how it affects her future plans as a parent. Oh, and ladies, if you talk about your future kids, that’s pretty much inviting me to think about sleeping with you. Hey, I’m the victim here.

Dividend Ninja does a decent job explaining why utility stocks have such high debt levels and payout ratios. If you don’t go and read it, he’ll use his ninja skills to kick your ass.

It’s retard of the month time at Control Your Cash. One of these days that’s going to be me. I’ll cry.

And finally, Fabulously Broke breaks down how much your pet will cost you over its lifetime. Well, the handy infographic breaks it down. She just posted it. Still, pretty colors.

Carnivals

Nah. They’re filled with carnies.

Have a good week everyone.

 

 

Congratulations! You’ve finally decided to take the plunge and launch your own product, leveraging the success of your blog into untold riches. Your potential for future earnings is basically limitless. After all, everybody is on the internet, even Nelson’s Grandma.  If you can just sell one e-book to everyone, you’ll end up with at least a million dollars in profit. Maybe even more.

But, in order to do that, you’ve got to have a plan. I’m not talking about some crappy plan like the Maginot Line or whoever came up with the idea to split Netflix into two. No, this plan has got to be good. Because if you screw up just one detail, you’ll be stuck working your crappy day job forever. And I’ve heard day jobs suck more than an episode of The Big Bang Theory. At least, I think. I’ve never watched an episode of that particular show.

Dammit, now I’m distracted. Let’s do this thing.

Step 1- Hint Dropping Time

Screw actually having a topic, you can pull something out of your ass in 5 minutes. Take a few hours to write some of it, and then hire some guy out of India to do the rest. And then, when he’s done, hire some other guy out of India to edit it so it doesn’t sound like somebody who barely speaks English wrote it. You’re not going to have time to write it, since you’ve got promotin’ to do!

Starting about 6 weeks before launch, start dropping hints about this project you’re working on. You’ll want to use words like massive, epic and legendary a lot, since you want to create the impression your thrown together e-book is going to change people’s lives. Post Twitter and Facebook updates at like 2 A.M. which talk about how hard you’re working on your project. This would probably be a good time to learn how to schedule updates ahead of time.

Because you went to the Financial Bloggers Conference, you’ve been promoting the hell out of your e-mail newsletter for months now, because either Ramit or Baker told you to. As you compose your newsletter, take special care to mention your upcoming launch in every single paragraph. Present your product as the ticket to make all their non-sexual dreams come true. As long as you think it’s the greatest thing ever, then it’s gotta be true.

Step 2- Make A Landing Page

A week or two before you launch that bad boy, you’re going to want to make a landing page. This is where you’ll send prospective customers when they want some information on your product. What should you put on this landing page? Great question, I’m glad I asked it.

First thing, you should use this landing page to dismiss any legitimate criticisms people may have against your product. If somebody thinks the price is too high, call them cheap and stupid for not investing in their future. If someone questions the quality of the content, point them to your best posts and then call them cheap and stupid. And if someone has the audacity to question your qualifications, feel free to insult them again and maybe call their mother fat. You don’t have time for people who actually question what they buy! You’ve got products to sell, dammit!

I think you should mention your price on the landing page, but not before you write at least a thousand words on how awesome your product is. Feel free to repeat yourself as many times as needed. Point out how great of a deal this is, and for God’s sake, DON’T TELL PEOPLE THEY CAN GET THIS INFORMATION FOR FREE SOMEWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNET.

Step 3- The Launch

It’s time to launch this beast. Since you’ve been constantly dropping hints for weeks, your fans will be chomping at the bit to exchange their cash for whatever it is you’re selling. That’s great, but we’re going for more than that here. Remember, unless you sell to one million people, your product isn’t a success. Well, unless you charge like 12 grand for the damn thing, but no one would be stupid enough to do that in real life.

Finally, the day has come for you to launch your product. Is all the work over? Hardly. It’s now time to pimp that ho like you’ve never pimped before. Write all sorts of guest posts on other blogs. Go everywhere you can and mention it. Make sure you’ve got about eleventy billion blog posts scheduled right through the launch, all of which mention it. And just when you think you can’t possibly pimp it anymore… KEEP PIMPING IT YOU QUITTER.

PIMP. PIMP. PIMP. PIMP. PIMP. PIMP. PIMP. (Those 7 pimps are sung to the tune of the George In The Jungle drums)

Here’s a picture of a pimp to keep you motivated.

Keep Pimpin' Boyeee!

I suggest printing it and taping it on the wall. Or, if you really want to get in the theme of things, go buy the get-up. Do whatever you need to do to get in the mood.

Step 4- Spend Your Money

I’d suggest spending it on cocaine and hookers, but it’s really your call. Remember, you will be wearing a pimp costume.

There you have it kids. Once you follow these 4 steps, you’ll be well on your way to conquering the internet. Soon Bill Gates will be hitting you up for cash. You can thank me with 20% of your profits. Or boobs. I like them.

 

It seems like everything is the worst thing ever lately. It’s kind of a weak segue, but you should still go check out my post about how teaching is a horrible job. How’s that for shameless self promotion?

Anyway, the other day, I was at Subway, having a chicken wrap before heading back to work lugging potato chips. And, like I always do at lunch, I like to check the Twitter to see what everyone is saying. Oh, and by the way, always get hot sauce on your chicken at Subway. Or anywhere really. Buffalo chicken is the ticket.

My attention was piqued by a post by one Investor Junkie, titled Why Google’s Panda Is Not Cute and Cuddly. Because it’s what I do, let me give you the gist of the article. The author is upset because the folks at Google did an update in their search algorithm, which was supposed to just be a minor thing, yet it cut down his Google traffic by 50%. In the eyes of Google, Investor Junkie has been a very bad boy. He was spanked, which isn’t nearly as sexy as a lot of spankings.

Obviously, he’s is upset about this. For those of you who aren’t bloggers, let me explain a little how the business model works, at least for most blogs. Every couple days whenever I feel like it, I post new content. A portion of you are regular readers, eagerly awaiting whatever crap I decide to write about. For the most part, regular readers are pretty crummy for revenue. You don’t click on any ads, which is the main source of income around here. You just show up, maybe leave a comment, and then bugger off. All you do is increase pageviews, unless you read through Google Reader or email, in which case you don’t even do that.

Visitors from search engines are what pay the bills. They’re typically here because they want some specific piece of information. They’re impatient, they want the answer to their query now, dammit. This makes them much more likely to click on an ad, which puts a little bit of cash in Nelly’s pocket. And then, that cash gets blown on loose women. It’s a vicious cycle really.

Looking at blogging from a purely business perspective, it’s the equivalent of getting a large percentage of your revenue from one customer. Since nobody under 60 uses anything but Google, just about all of my search results come from them. If they decide to punish me for some reason, I’m pretty much screwed. I could whine all I want, and the guys at Google would just laugh at me. That’s exactly what happened to Investor Junkie.

And yet, we have a blogger who is aggressively buying up other blogs, Mike from The Financial Blogger. (along with his silent partner) They own around a half dozen financial blogs, along with a few niche websites as well. Luckily for us nosy people, Mike posts a monthly income update, so we can get a look inside a blogging business.

And what we see is that, at least for Mike’s company, it’s also a pretty crummy business.

Every single month, Mike publishes an online income report, which is a pretty interesting read, except for the fact it only ever records revenues and glosses over expenses. So each and every month, Mike boasts large revenue numbers, sometimes even cracking $10k per month. Impressive numbers, but, as is the case with any business, expenses are just as important as revenue.

Finally, a couple weeks ago, he delivered on the expenses side, writing a post called 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care About Your Expenses When Building A Side Income, or NAMBLA for short. In the post, Mike admitted to having $67k inyearly expenses, meaning his net income is a paltry $30k or so. They outsource a good chunk of their business, meaning it wouldn’t be that easy to cut their way back to prosperity in the event of a bad event- like a Google Panda update.

One thing is for sure- blogging isn’t passive income. If me or any other blogger suddenly went away for any longer than about a week, we’d start to lose traffic, maybe permanently. You people continue to want new stuff, and search engines will always value blogs that consistently have new content. I have to keep on top of private advertisers and do a whole bunch of other things to keep this bad boy running. So why would I take my hard earned cash and invest it in something that requires more work?

Besides, as other bloggers see their blogging profits go up, they’ll be on the lookout for other blogs to buy, meaning there’s multiple buyers out there. I like to buy things when they’re unloved, not when there’s about a dozen other would be buyers. And, admittedly, I know very little about monetizing a blog. My whole strategy can be summed up in one sentence: write good stuff, and they will come.

Yeah, I don’t get why you’d buy a blog. It seems like a pretty risky business. I’ll just keep doing this as something to do, and hopefully I can make a few bucks off it. And if not? Well, maybe I’ll be the one looking to sell. I don’t think I’d ever expand my blogging empire though.

 

After much deliberating, I bought myself a new iPhone this week. And I love it. I think I’d rather look at it’s pretty shiny screen than have sex. It’s a pretty cool piece of technology, and I can see how they sold like 4 million of them in a week.

I need a case for my new phone. So I go to Wal-Mart and buy one, without realizing it’s actually for the iPod 4. So I take it back to the electronics department to see if I can exchange it (I hadn’t even left the store at this point, but I did open the package) and HOLY CRAP was the girl mad at me. It was like I ruined her whole day by buying the wrong case. According to her, there was no way I could return it, because it was my fault I bought the wrong one.

So I took it to customer service, where the nice old lady gladly gave me my money back. The lesson here? Always deal with nice old ladies.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

Let’s go with something a little older this week, Tom Petty’s American Girl.

While searching for this song on Youtube, I found out that MY GIRL Taylor Swift covered it. Her version isn’t terrible, but go with the original. It’s better.

Check out Tom Petty’s face in the picture they used. He looks like he’s doing his best charming face to get some unsuspecting groupie to come back to his hotel room. I bet it worked on more than a few of them.

Simpsons Quote of The Week

Chief Wiggum: All right folks, nothing to see here, move along – Oh my God, a horrible plane crash! Hey everyone, come in and crowd around!

Gambling Is Fun

My picks went 0-3 last week, further evidence you should never listen to me about anything. Rather, you should track down the guy who bet on the Cardinals when they were 999-1 underdogs to make the World Series. Listen to that guy.

I’m going with the Steelers minus the 4 points in Arizona. I’m taking Winnipeg to win straight up over Carolina, since Carolina was in St. Louis last night. And finally, let’s go with Green Bay to beat the helpless Vikings by more than the 10.5 point spread. Poor Minnesota.

A Post You Might Have Missed

There’s so much good stuff in my archives, I’m surprised you even have time to read the new stuff.

About once a year, some new study gets released on what income level it takes for people to be happy. I don’t really care for those studies or the subsequent discussion, since they all encourage people to put a dollar value on happiness, something that’s only partially effected by money. Anyway, go read the post.

The More You Know

Oooh, another new category. This one is motivated by that one night I spent clicking on the random article link on Wikipedia over and over again. I click on the link until I come up with something interesting, and then tell you about it. You probably won’t care, and we’ll all meet back here again in a week to repeat the process. Ready? Go.

WDTV is the name given to the CBS affiliate station for north west central Virginia. It broadcasts in both standard and high definition formats. The station has been broadcasting continuously since 1954. It currently syndicates riveting daytime tv like Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown and Entertainment Tonight. No word on whether the weather girls are hot though.

Pick A Stock. Any Stock.

The markets had a good week this week, so finding unloved stocks just got a little more difficult.

I’m still a shareholder in Nokia, and I’m going to recommend it again, even though I just bought a brand new iPhone and love it more than it’s possible for a man to love a thing. It’s right around the price I paid for it, meaning if you buy it today, we can have approximately equal returns. That might be fun.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

Elisha Cuthbert is a fox. She’s also apparently got a thing for screwing up NHL players, since both Sean Avery and Dion Phaneuf both saw their careers kind of go down the crapper after dating her. If you lose your job next week because you look at this picture, sorry about that.

Do you guys think she’d be impressed if I took her to Dairy Queen? I bet she would.

Time For Links

Let’s kick things off with the one and only Larry McDonald, who has a terrific post about a potential bubble in farmland in Canada. In the part of the country where I live, farmland is up significantly over the past few years, and of course farmers are actually whining about it. They can’t afford to expand, or so they say.

The fine folks at Control Your Cash seem to show up here every week. That’s cause they consistently write stuff that doesn’t suck. The latest on the limits of frugality is quite good. You shouldn’t click through if you’re a coupon lover though.

Andrew Hallam doesn’t much care for stock picking contests for high school students. I used to think they were a fun way to get kids involved in the market. Andrew’s post changed my mind, which doesn’t happen much. Great post.

JT McGee from Money Mamba likes to do stuff in the shower. Click through to see if his post is nearly as inappropriate as I made it sound.

I think that I’m basically stalking Money Rabbit. And yet, she’s actually nice to me, which kind of blows my mind. Anyway, if you’ve ever wondered what she looks/sounds like, you should go check out her first attempt at vloging. That sound you hear is me ogling.

Money Smarts Blog recently went from full RSS feeds to short ones, pissing at least this blogger off. He’s lucky his blog doesn’t suck, or I’d have to not read it anymore. This week Mike talks about separating out mutual fund fees.

Nothing from me over at Canadian Finance Blog this week. Don’t worry kids, I’ll be back there next week. In the meantime, go check out Jim Yih’s 1 secret to financial success. Yes, it’s really that simple.

Or is it? Echo (via Give Me Back My Five Bucks) argues that financial success is actually mostly due to luck. I’m not sure Echo is giving himself enough credit, but I appreciate the humility, considering I have no modesty whatsoever.

Carnivals I Was In

Um… QUICK LOOK OVER THERE!

(Puff of smoke)

Have a good week everyone.

© 2012 Financial Uproar Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha

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