Why Do Men Think They Need Money To Attract Women?

 Sex and Money  5 Responses »
Nov 302011
 

[This is a guest post from Martin over at Studenomics. His blog doesn't suck. Go check it out.]

What’s the most money that you’ve ever spent on sex?

Alright don’t get offended and don’t run away just yet. You know this is a valid question. Us guys never directly pay for sex, but we sure as hell pay for it indirectly. We pay for it with dinner, gifts, and many other ways. The most money that I ever spent on sex when I took out my girlfriend at the time to a $200 dinner for our two-year anniversary. I was young, dumb, and not as serious about personal finance as I am now.

What about you? What’s the most money that you’ve spent on sex?

When Nelson asked if breast implants were the key to success, I figured that this would be a fun place to open up this discussion.

I have an acquaintance (can’t really consider him a friend) that is always broke because he spends all of his money on trying to attract women. He once spent about two grand to go see a chick he met online. He flew from Toronto to Vancouver during the busiest time of the year and spared no expenses. Then there have been times where he buys the most expensive wardrobe for a first date. All of this spending money on women has resulted in him being broke at the age of 28. His success rate isn’t that impressive either.

Allow me to share a story from last year when I was a single man (off the market now, sorry!)…

Before going out on the town I told my buddies that I was going to say the stupidest stuff that I could come up with when approaching chicks at the bar. Long story short, I told a chick I was a broke man. She started off as your typical gold digger at the bar. Then when she asked for a drink, I provided her with a glass of water and told her I had no money for a real drink. We had the best convos all night about how I can make money quick and other fun topics. It ended up being one of the most memorable nights of that winter season. That’s all I will say.

It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.

Do you need to spend the big bucks to meet women?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. This is the biggest myth in the history of attraction and finance. You don’t need money to meet cool and down-to-Earth chicks, especially in your 20s. Stop using a lack of money as an excuse for your lack of success in the dating world. An empty pocket should never hold you back. Only an empty mind can hold you back. Don’t be ashamed if you live
in a run down house or if you’re not rich. It’s not where you are, it’s where you’re going that matters.

What’s the point of this article?

Keep it in your pants gentlemen. Your wallet that is. There’s no need to be spending your hard earned money on trying to impress chicks.

You can learn how to get a girls number without going broke. Attracting women, going out with friends, and having a great time in your 20s doesn’t mean that you have to lose all of your money.

There’s nothing wrong with spending the big bucks on a huge anniversary, birthday or Christmas (don’t get me started on that February holiday). For the rest of the year, you need to stop feeling that you need to blow big
money just to attract women. For starters you only attract gold diggers with money and you’ll never find anyone that likes you for who you are. I won’t get emotional on you. I’ll just finish up by repeating myself for the 26th time– you don’t need money to meet women.

This guest post was brought to you by Martin of Studenomics, where he helps you determine what is a good credit score and how
you can start a business with no money today.

 Posted by Nelson Smith at 4:20 am

Maybe You Shouldn’t Be An Entrepreneur

 Big Picture Stuff, Careers  7 Responses »
Nov 282011
 

Most people have at least one of the following dreams:

1. Travel the world

2. Become their own boss

3. Threesome with two attractive chicks

Unfortunately, even though I may seem like a ladies man, I cannot help you with number 3. You’re on your own with that one. I will suggest alcohol, and lots of it.

Instead, we’re going to talk about becoming an entrepreneur. But, like I usually do, I’m going to put a little twist on it. That’ll come in a little bit. Oh, I’m such a tease.

(Looks back up at the title) Oh, you already know?

Who hasn’t had the dream? You’re at work, minding your own business, just doing your job, when your boss bursts in. Somebody has pissed in his Corn Flakes this morning, so he’s mad. You’ve been working hard on the ninja report, but it just isn’t done yet. He wants it, so you give him the bad news. Since he’s so angry, he tears a strip off you, leaving you practically in tears because you’re sensitive, dammit.

Screw this you say to yourself. I don’t need this. If I went out on my own, I could charge more, and not have to put up with the whims of my boss. This would be the greatest thing ever. So, right after you finish the ninja report, you allow yourself a few minutes to dream. Just don’t go acting on this dream just yet, because it might just turn into a NIGHTMARE.

Ooh, scary. You almost wet your pants there, didn’t you?

Regular readers will know I spent some time as a mortgage broker. Even though I worked under a brokerage, I was responsible for getting all my own business. As in, if I didn’t do some mortgages, I didn’t get paid. There were various things I did in an attempt to drum up business- an ad in the local paper, mailing out flyers, among others- but they weren’t ultimately very successful. The reason? They were too passive.

In any sales related field, the business goes to whoever is the most aggressive in asking for it. And there I was, in a sales position, as a guy who didn’t want to be that aggressive. I hate that proverbial used car salesman stereotype, and didn’t want myself coming anywhere close to it. So I intentionally became less aggressive. In that industry, you can imagine how badly I was shooting myself in the foot. After a couple very mediocre years, I was ready to throw up my hands and get a real job again.

The point of my story is simple. There are certain businesses that require a great deal of sales skills in order to get ahead. In the mortgage business, you’re always looking for the next deal. Even repeat customers will only darken your door every couple of years, since you can only buy houses so fast. Your knowledge of the business becomes almost secondary to your ability to generate leads. If you suck at doing that kind of work, maybe entrepreneurship isn’t for you.

And then there’s time management.

How often do you sit down with the intent of accomplishing something, and then realize an hour later you’ve pissed away the last 45 minutes watching cute kitty videos on Youtube? If you’ve never done this at least a few times you’re either not human or a liar. I’m just as guilty of it as the rest of you, except I watch stuff that doesn’t suck.

It’s human nature to avoid tasks we find unpleasant. Personally, I do the stuff I want to do the least first, getting it over with. Sometimes though, I’ll procrastinate because the job is just so unpleasant, like I do every year with my taxes. How many of you have stayed in a relationship you knew wasn’t going to work because the thought of breaking up with just so horrible?

As an entrepreneur, the buck doesn’t just stop with you, it also begins with you. That very freedom that you craved can be your worst enemy if you can’t just buckle down and get to work. Procrastination will kill any entrepreneur, including me. I would spend hours avoiding tasks I didn’t want to do, instead doing the most pointless of crap to avoid what was important.

You will have to work harder as an entrepreneur than you ever did as an employee. Sure, you have the freedom to do that work at 2am, or on a beach somewhere (depending on the nature of your business) but you still need to get off your ass and do it. If, like a lot of employees, your primary motivation is fear of your employer, I’m not liking your chances of going without a boss. Motivating yourself isn’t nearly as easy as you think it is.

This post isn’t to discourage any dreams you have of going out on your own. I’d still encourage anyone to start a side hustle. And even though fear can be a great motivator, I’d recommend against just up and quitting your job. Instead, wade into the ocean of entrepreneurship. Start freelancing. Spend a couple nights a week on some sort of sideline business. Instead of drinking too much on Friday night, spend it working on something that can grow into something bigger.

You’ll accomplish two things by approaching entrepreneurship this way. Firstly, as you gain traction and get busier, you’ll be forced to learn time management, because your time is limited by your day job. Secondly, you have a safety net just in case your new business isn’t the road to riches you first thought. You can pick yourself up and try something new without having to risk starving.

You might have the means to make it self employed. Or, more likely, you won’t. Instead of taking a huge risk to find this out, why not be cautious about it? Calculated risks are the best risks of all.

 Posted by Nelson Smith at 4:20 am

Saturday Morning Dump: There are 7 Pens On My Coffee Table

 Saturday Link Dump  6 Responses »
Nov 262011
 

7 pens guys. Apparently I’m some sort of pen hoarder, all localized on my coffee table.

Because I’m a better consumer than you, I easily got the best black Friday deal of the week, a feat made even more impressive by the fact I live in Canada and this happened on Thursday. I stroll into the local pawn shop, brought there because the owner knows enough to call me for all his electronic stuff. He’s approaching 70 years old, and thinks technology is stupid, so he wants rid of the stuff as quick as possible. So he calls me, and offers me a Bose sound system for $45. After checking if it worked, I became the proud owner of it. And then, he says “oh, it came with this. I think it’s one of those iPods.” And he threw it in for free.

So I’m going through the songs on the iPod, and I’m not liking the previous owner’s music choices. There was all sorts of heavy metal so heavy that it makes you want to punch the crap out of something. Choices included such bands as the Butthole Surfers and Disturbed, among others in that genre. And then, as I’m scrolling through the artists, out of the middle of nowhere, bam. Sarah McLachian. One of these is not like the others.

How good of a band name is the Butthole Surfers? It’s easily in my top 5. I just sampled their music. They’re not bad. They’re no Taylor Swift, but not bad.

I watched 60 minutes last Sunday, since they had a story about my stalking victim girlfriend Taylor Swift. In one part, they showed that she was quite involved in business decisions, and how impressive it was to see, how smart it made her, and so forth. What’s so impressive about someone taking an interest in their business? If she had a normal life and worked at an accounting firm or something, people wouldn’t be impressed about her taking an interest in accounting. OH MY GOD, THAT GIRL IS DOING ACCOUNTING. THAT’S SO IMPRESSIVE AND REFRESHING.

Oh, and also, I’m a pretty big Taylor Swift fan. But the whole act of being really surprised at winning awards and of crowds going nuts really has to stop. Nobody believes this surprises her anymore. You’ve been the biggest act on earth for like 2 years woman.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

Let’s go with the Butthole Surfers. Nah, let’s not.

I am listening to my ipod through my new sound system. The next song that comes on it will be the song of choice. Isn’t this exciting? It’s like the lottery, except with a prize you don’t give a crap about.

I like Jimmy Eat World. Their music is solid. I think they’re one of the most underrated bands in our generation. I just want to hold down the lead singer and trim his bangs. Come on man. You’re a dude, get a haircut.

Simpsons Quote Of The Week

Rev. Lovejoy: Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They’re all pretty much the same.

Gambling Is Fun

Keeping with my pattern of alternating good weeks with horrible ones, I recovered last week, posting a 2-1 record. I would have gone 3-0, except Paula Creamer must have heard I had imaginary money on her performance, so she sucked pretty bad over the last 5 holes. It’s the only reasonable explanation.

This week, I’m taking the New Jersey Devils to win straight up against the craptasticly bad New York Islanders. I’m taking the Chicago Bears plus the 4 points against the Oakland Raiders. The Bears have a fantastic defense. Who cares if they lost Cutler. Rounding out the picks, I’ve got to take some CFL. I’m taking the Blue Bombers to cover against the spread of a touchdown against the Lions. Here’s hoping for a close one Bombers.

Overall Record: 6-10-2

A Post You Might Have Missed

This category is fun. It’s like having a time machine, except that would be a billion times better. If I had a time machine I would definitely not use it to go back in time and have sex with my own Grandma, like in that one episode of Futurama.

Oh right, a previous post. This probably won’t surprise you, but I really don’t care for weddings. But what I really don’t care for is couples who decide to get married with no way to pay for it. You’re all grown up now people! Time to pay for your own way in life.

The More You Know

I’ll spin the Wikipedia wheel of fortune Pat.

Silk is a natural protein fiber, some forms of which can be woven into textiles. The best-known type of silk is obtained from the cocoons of the larvae of themulberry silkworm Bombyx mori reared in captivity (sericulture). The shimmering appearance of silk is due to the triangular prism-like structure of the silk fiber, which allows silk cloth to refract incoming light at different angles, thus producing different colors.

Is my underwear made of silk? You’ll just have to keep wondering.

Pick A Stock. Any Stock.

Go with Sun Life Financial. Good balance sheet. Close to 8% dividend. It’s trading at close to the level it was during 2009 lows. The world isn’t that bad. Buy it and forget about it for 5 years.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

You people are perverts. Every single week you come here and objectify some unlucky young woman, who has obviously misplaced most of her clothing. And I, for one, am tired of it. You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. THAT YOUNG WOMAN IS SOMEONE’S DAUGHTER.

Wow. That was downright depressing. Let’s all cheer up with this picture of Wayne Gretzky’s daughter. Wow, this makes me feel old.

Let's hope she's 18

Time For Links

Weakanomics starts us off this week, with the best post of the week not to get a comment. It’s a contrarian look at income inequality and how society in general has affected it. Go read it. I SAID NOW.

Sustainable Personal Finance is giving away approximately 1.2 million dollars worth of prizes to celebrate their first anniversary. Meanwhile, around here, I don’t even know when my blogging anniversary is. If this blog was my girlfriend, I’d be sleeping on the couch tonight. That might happen anyway.

Kerry from Squawkfox got married for $239. Do you know what would have saved $239? Not getting married.

No, dammit, I am not linking to Control Your Cash this week. You can’t make me.

Frugal Dad has been showing some pretty cool infographics lately. Here’s one on media. Much cooler than the ’10 ways to save money on Thanksgiving’ stuff you’d expect from the guy.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job was inspired by me, writing about whether the less attractive should get benefits. Maybe they should, and then use said benefits for a little plastic surgery. That’ll stimulate the economy. (and other things)

This Get Rich Slowly post is a few weeks old now, it’s about the differences between the rich and the poor. If my commenters ever get as whiny as JD’s, I will shut down my comment section.

The second edition of Money Smarts Blog’s RESP book is out. That’ll make 2 editions I don’t read.

I looked at whether live sports are worth the cost over at Canadian Finance Blog. You’re just dying to know, aren’t you? Well, then go read it, dammit.

Melissa over at Broke TO had a dead pigeon on her balcony. Personally, I would have just picked the thing up and chucked it on someone else’s balcony. That would have amused me. Oh, and Melissa, it’s your move in Words With Friends. She’s beating me. Of course she is.

I’d just like to issue a quick anti-link to people who think they can make a blog post compiled of their tweets over the last couple weeks. NO. WRITE A REAL POST.

And finally, in my favorite story of the week, a woman wanted to get a cheap XBOX so bad that she pepper sprayed people who got in her way. I love America.

Carnivals

Who has time to do that? Honestly.

Have a good week everyone.

 Posted by Nelson Smith at 4:20 am

A Behind The Scenes Look At Dragon’s Den

 Big Picture Stuff, Other  10 Responses »
Nov 232011
 

Like many Canadians, I don’t miss an episode of the smash hit reality show Dragon’s Den. The show is incredibly popular, it’s neck and neck with the iconic Hockey Night In Canada as CBC’s most watched show. The show has come a long way since the first season, which looked like it was shot in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in Scarborough.

However, thanks to the wonders of TV editing, you don’t get to see the whole picture. Often, a business pitch will actually last for a half hour or more, but it gets shrunk down to just the juicy parts so it’ll fit between commercial breaks. And that, folks, is truly a shame. Some really good stuff ends up on the cutting room floor. Wouldn’t it be fun if you could have an exclusive, behind the scenes look at what CBC doesn’t show?

Of course you’d like that. Luckily for all of us, my good looks and charming personality (and modesty) ensure I can get into pretty much whatever I want. So I spent a couple of days at the set of Dragon’s Den, to see what gets cut out. The results may surprise you.

(The pitcher walks down the stairs, and approaches their set up display and props)

Pitcher: Hi, I’m Pitcher A, owner of Acme Services. And I’m looking for $150,000 for-

Kevin O’Leary: (interrupting) Do you have sales?

Pitcher: Uhh, I’ll get to that.

Arlene Dickinson: KEVIN! SHUT UP! (to pitcher) Please continue young man.

Pitcher: Anyway, I’m looking for $150,000 for 25% of my company.

Robert Herjavec: That valuation is ridiculous.

Pitcher: You don’t even know what I do.

Kevin O’Leary: Who cares? You’re going to be road pizza in about a month and a half anyway.

Jim Treliving: Mmm… pizza

Arlene Dickinson: EVERYBODY SHUT UP! I WANT TO SPEAK!

(Silence)

Arlene: Please continue young man.

Pitcher: Thanks. At Acme Services, we lend money to people with lots of home equity, but poor credit. Since we’re only interested in people who the traditional lenders won’t touch, we’re able to charge a premium interest rate even though the loan is secured with a great deal of equity in the property.

Robert Herjavec: Have you considered a licensing deal?

Pitcher: What? I’m not sure that’s applicable here.

Kevin O’Leary: Oh man! Why wouldn’t you consider a licensing deal? You are a nutbar factor 6. I should whack you and put in my own manager.

Pitcher: Well, for one, we don’t actually have a product. We lend money.

Bruce Croxon: I don’t have anything important to add here. I just wanted to remind everyone I’m the new Dragon.

Pitcher: And secondly, we’re not looking to lend anywhere besides in our city. We know the area and the home values there, and therefore feel it’s prudent to limit our geographic reach, at least for now. We just need more capital, since demand is outpacing supply.

(Silence)

Arlene Dickinson: SHUT UP EVERYONE! Son, what are your sales?

Pitcher: Currently we have one million dollars lent out at an average return of 10%. So last year’s revenue was $100,000.

Robert Herjavec: So you have $1M lent out, but you’re valuing your company at $600k. That valuation is too high.

Pitcher: No it isn’t. It’s quite reasonable.

Kevin O’Leary: Robert is right. You’re a greedy pig. The greed is overtaking a perfectly reasonable business deal. For shame.

Arlene Dickinson: I’M TIRED OF ALL OF YOU BEING SO MEAN TO THIS NICE YOUNG MAN.

Pitcher: Wow, thanks. But I’m 49 years old.

Arlene Dickinson: Whatever, I’m bored. Are there any underwear models around?

Bruce Croxon: Yeah, they’re all locked in your trailer.

Arlene Dickinson: (Licks lips) Oh good. How long until our next break?

Brett Wilson: (Poking his head in the fire exit door) Hey, has anyone given these guys any money yet?

Everyone: GO AWAY BRETT!

Brett Wilson: Sorry guys. (to pitcher) If you want some money, I’ll just leave it in the parking lot for you. It’ll be in a sack, with a dollar symbol on the outside.

Pitcher: Wow, thanks. How much of my company do you want?

Brett Wilson: Don’t worry about it. Just take my money.

Producer: (With a broom) Scat! Shoo Brett Wilson!

Robert Herjavec: Have I ever mentioned I have a book?

Pitcher: Yes, I’m aware of it.

Robert Herjavec: Do you own several copies?

Pitcher: No. I checked it out from the library though.

Robert Herjavec: I’m out.

Arlene Dickinson: Have you considered the moral implications of charging such high interest rates? I had to pay those high rates back when I was a single mother. And it was horrible.

Kevin O’Leary: Oh stop it. Your tears add no value.

Arlene Dickinson: I’m not actually crying.

Kevin O’Leary: I will give you a deal, which is especially generous of me, considering you don’t deserve it. I will give you the $150k, for 51% of your company. Plus, I need a 45% royalty, paid until I get my 150 grand back, and then it drops to 42%.

Pitcher: That deal is ridiculous.

Kevin O’Leary: You’re dead to me. I hope you become the cockroach squashed beneath my shoe. I’m out.

Bruce Croxon: I know nothing about anything. I’m out.

Arlene Dickinson: I just can’t handle the moral implications of what you’re doing. How dare you prey on the weak like this.

Pitcher: What’s so bad about extending higher interest rate credit to people with damaged credit?

Arlene Dickinson: I feel so bad about this. I’m out. I am literally sick to my stomach right now. WHERE ARE MY UNDERWEAR MODELS?

Robert Herjavec: Only one Dragon left. Jim Treliving, what do you think?

Jim Treliving: (snores)

Producer: (hitting Jim with the broom) WAKE UP!

Jim Treliving: Huh? What? Sure, I’ll do that deal.

Pitcher: 25% for $150k?

Jim Treliving: Yeah, whatever. I just want a piece of the company. Let’s shake hands now.

Pitcher: Do you even know what we do?

Jim Treliving: It’s something to do with pizza, right?

 Posted by Nelson Smith at 4:20 am

Taxes Suck. But You Shouldn’t Care.

 Taxes  11 Responses »
Nov 212011
 

First off, a disclaimer before we start. Well, sort of.

I really don’t care for finance blog posts that get political. There’s a couple of reasons for this. First off, I’m pretty apolitical. My beliefs don’t really resonate with any of Canada’s political parties, so I usually don’t bother to care about politics. Besides, it doesn’t really matter what I think, if many other people aren’t on the same page as I am. And secondly, I don’t want the comment section to turn into a right wing vs. left wing debate. Other blogs can have that, I’ll pass. So, hopefully this post doesn’t get too politically charged. I’ll try to stick with just numbers.

With that out of the way, join me on a little thought exercise.

The fine folks from Control Your Cash hail from Las Vegas, Nevada. That’s right kids, Sin City. You know, that place you go where you drink too much, gamble too much, and pay a stripper too much to grind against your junk. Because of your overindulgence, all citizens of that fine state pay no income taxes. They do have a sales tax, and they do have to (obviously) pay their federal taxes. In short, it’s an attractive place to live, at least from a taxation perspective.

Compare that to Nova Scotia, the most heavily taxed province in Canada. Over 30% of the GDP of the province gets paid back to various levels of government. They have a 10% provincial sales tax (since rolled into the national sales tax to form the Harmonized Sales Tax- of 15%). They also have one of the highest provincial tax rates in Canada.

What’s the point of this? There are people investing and creating wealth in both Nevada and Nova Scotia. These people do it because they want to get ahead. They want to get to the point where they can not have to worry about work anymore, because financial independence is probably better than a threesome with a couple of those hot blogger chicks I write about. I hope it’s the reason why you keep coming back multiple times a day, since the jokes are clearly lame.

Every single jurisdiction in North America has slightly different tax burdens on their citizens. Some, because of rich natural resource deposits, can make revenue charging companies for the stuff they take out of the ground. Others don’t have this advantage, so they have to get the revenue from somewhere else, which could include the earnings of the people who live there.

And yet, everywhere in North America, we have people who are working to get ahead, taxes be dammed.

There are actually Americans who don’t want to make over $200,000 per year, because they don’t want to pay 35% tax on that money, instead of the 33% they pay on earnings above $150,000(ish). I cannot believe that there are people who make $200k per year that are this shortsighted. For every dollar you make, you keep 65 cents compared to 67. Sure, it’s kind of a bummer, BUT YOU STILL KEEP 65 CENTS. Just take the 65 cents and accept the fact that you had to pay taxes, which are simply a cost of creating wealth. You’ve heard of the expression “spending money to make money,” right?

Let’s face it. In the United States (and Canada) higher taxes are all but a certainty in the future. We have all sorts of entitlement programs that aren’t going away anytime soon with a shaky economy and an aging population. Sure, governments can reduce revenue, but raising taxes will also have to be part of the equation. No aspiring capitalist likes that. So what’s the smarter thing to do? Create wealth anyway, and give a bigger piece of it to the government? Or pout and not create any at all?

I’m not sure what you and I can do about taxation policy. Sure, we can bitch and moan, and even join organizations that push for lower taxes. And hell, this might even work to lower our taxes slightly. But who cares! Instead of wasting your time debating someone on some online forum about the difference between a 33% and 35% top marginal tax rate, why not spend your time making enough money to ACTUALLY PAY THAT TAX RATE.

Even with a shaky economy, opportunities are plentiful to create wealth. Can you believe I’m actually making a halfway decent sideline income weakly connecting penis jokes to personal finance? I focus on making extra money, both actively and passively. The only time I even think about taxes is when I put interest bearing investments inside my RRSP, and dividend/capital gains plays in taxable accounts. Taxes don’t even enter my mind a full 99.9% of the time. You know why? Because I’m too busy making money.

Whining about taxes is the worst reason why you shouldn’t try to get ahead. I’d rather you just admit you’re too lazy to bother. You can debate tax policy all day long. The people who create wealth are too busy to care.

 Posted by Nelson Smith at 4:20 am
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