Saturday Morning Dump: There are 7 Pens On My Coffee Table

7 pens guys. Apparently I’m some sort of pen hoarder, all localized on my coffee table.

Because I’m a better consumer than you, I easily got the best black Friday deal of the week, a feat made even more impressive by the fact I live in Canada and this happened on Thursday. I stroll into the local pawn shop, brought there because the owner knows enough to call me for all his electronic stuff. He’s approaching 70 years old, and thinks technology is stupid, so he wants rid of the stuff as quick as possible. So he calls me, and offers me a Bose sound system for $45. After checking if it worked, I became the proud owner of it. And then, he says “oh, it came with this. I think it’s one of those iPods.” And he threw it in for free.

So I’m going through the songs on the iPod, and I’m not liking the previous owner’s music choices. There was all sorts of heavy metal so heavy that it makes you want to punch the crap out of something. Choices included such bands as the Butthole Surfers and Disturbed, among others in that genre. And then, as I’m scrolling through the artists, out of the middle of nowhere, bam. Sarah McLachian. One of these is not like the others.

How good of a band name is the Butthole Surfers? It’s easily in my top 5. I just sampled their music. They’re not bad. They’re no Taylor Swift, but not bad.

I watched 60 minutes last Sunday, since they had a story about my stalking victim girlfriend Taylor Swift. In one part, they showed that she was quite involved in business decisions, and how impressive it was to see, how smart it made her, and so forth. What’s so impressive about someone taking an interest in their business? If she had a normal life and worked at an accounting firm or something, people wouldn’t be impressed about her taking an interest in accounting. OH MY GOD, THAT GIRL IS DOING ACCOUNTING. THAT’S SO IMPRESSIVE AND REFRESHING.

Oh, and also, I’m a pretty big Taylor Swift fan. But the whole act of being really surprised at winning awards and of crowds going nuts really has to stop. Nobody believes this surprises her anymore. You’ve been the biggest act on earth for like 2 years woman.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

Let’s go with the Butthole Surfers. Nah, let’s not.

I am listening to my ipod through my new sound system. The next song that comes on it will be the song of choice. Isn’t this exciting? It’s like the lottery, except with a prize you don’t give a crap about.

I like Jimmy Eat World. Their music is solid. I think they’re one of the most underrated bands in our generation. I just want to hold down the lead singer and trim his bangs. Come on man. You’re a dude, get a haircut.

Simpsons Quote Of The Week

Rev. Lovejoy: Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They’re all pretty much the same.

Gambling Is Fun

Keeping with my pattern of alternating good weeks with horrible ones, I recovered last week, posting a 2-1 record. I would have gone 3-0, except Paula Creamer must have heard I had imaginary money on her performance, so she sucked pretty bad over the last 5 holes. It’s the only reasonable explanation.

This week, I’m taking the New Jersey Devils to win straight up against the craptasticly bad New York Islanders. I’m taking the Chicago Bears plus the 4 points against the Oakland Raiders. The Bears have a fantastic defense. Who cares if they lost Cutler. Rounding out the picks, I’ve got to take some CFL. I’m taking the Blue Bombers to cover against the spread of a touchdown against the Lions. Here’s hoping for a close one Bombers.

Overall Record: 6-10-2

A Post You Might Have Missed

This category is fun. It’s like having a time machine, except that would be a billion times better. If I had a time machine I would definitely not use it to go back in time and have sex with my own Grandma, like in that one episode of Futurama.

Oh right, a previous post. This probably won’t surprise you, but I really don’t care for weddings. But what I really don’t care for is couples who decide to get married with no way to pay for it. You’re all grown up now people! Time to pay for your own way in life.

The More You Know

I’ll spin the Wikipedia wheel of fortune Pat.

Silk is a natural protein fiber, some forms of which can be woven into textiles. The best-known type of silk is obtained from the cocoons of the larvae of themulberry silkworm Bombyx mori reared in captivity (sericulture). The shimmering appearance of silk is due to the triangular prism-like structure of the silk fiber, which allows silk cloth to refract incoming light at different angles, thus producing different colors.

Is my underwear made of silk? You’ll just have to keep wondering.

Pick A Stock. Any Stock.

Go with Sun Life Financial. Good balance sheet. Close to 8% dividend. It’s trading at close to the level it was during 2009 lows. The world isn’t that bad. Buy it and forget about it for 5 years.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

You people are perverts. Every single week you come here and objectify some unlucky young woman, who has obviously misplaced most of her clothing. And I, for one, am tired of it. You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. THAT YOUNG WOMAN IS SOMEONE’S DAUGHTER.

Wow. That was downright depressing. Let’s all cheer up with this picture of Wayne Gretzky’s daughter. Wow, this makes me feel old.

Let's hope she's 18

Time For Links

Weakanomics starts us off this week, with the best post of the week not to get a comment. It’s a contrarian look at income inequality and how society in general has affected it. Go read it. I SAID NOW.

Sustainable Personal Finance is giving away approximately 1.2 million dollars worth of prizes to celebrate their first anniversary. Meanwhile, around here, I don’t even know when my blogging anniversary is. If this blog was my girlfriend, I’d be sleeping on the couch tonight. That might happen anyway.

Kerry from Squawkfox got married for $239. Do you know what would have saved $239? Not getting married.

No, dammit, I am not linking to Control Your Cash this week. You can’t make me.

Frugal Dad has been showing some pretty cool infographics lately. Here’s one on media. Much cooler than the ’10 ways to save money on Thanksgiving’ stuff you’d expect from the guy.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job was inspired by me, writing about whether the less attractive should get benefits. Maybe they should, and then use said benefits for a little plastic surgery. That’ll stimulate the economy. (and other things)

This Get Rich Slowly post is a few weeks old now, it’s about the differences between the rich and the poor. If my commenters ever get as whiny as JD’s, I will shut down my comment section.

The second edition of Money Smarts Blog’s RESP book is out. That’ll make 2 editions I don’t read.

I looked at whether live sports are worth the cost over at Canadian Finance Blog. You’re just dying to know, aren’t you? Well, then go read it, dammit.

Melissa over at Broke TO had a dead pigeon on her balcony. Personally, I would have just picked the thing up and chucked it on someone else’s balcony. That would have amused me. Oh, and Melissa, it’s your move in Words With Friends. She’s beating me. Of course she is.

I’d just like to issue a quick anti-link to people who think they can make a blog post compiled of their tweets over the last couple weeks. NO. WRITE A REAL POST.

And finally, in my favorite story of the week, a woman wanted to get a cheap XBOX so bad that she pepper sprayed people who got in her way. I love America.


Who has time to do that? Honestly.

Have a good week everyone.

Tell everyone, yo!

7 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Dump: There are 7 Pens On My Coffee Table

  • November 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    It’s the triple gift: Famous, Beauty & Brains.

    Most ordinary people who are Beauty & Brains are not Famous 😛

    And that deal with Bose & the iPod is a killer deal! I’m looking out for pawn shops myself, trying to find a nice watch with a true vintage feel rather than paying $$$$$$$ for a new faux vintage one.

  • November 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    Nelson, when the time comes – you will read the book and you will like it!

    BTW – you have the worst commenting system on the planet.  Why can’t you just use the normal wordpress comments like everyone else?

    • December 4, 2011 at 2:55 am

      I like disqus. I’m not changing!

      Actually, I will have to buy the book once I have a kid and actually care about RESPs. Considering my success rate with the ladies, that will be around edition 13.

  • November 27, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    I knew you’d like that one – it was true Nelson link-bait.

    Have you linked Goldfinger’s Wayne Gretzky yet?  Hilarious song.

    • December 4, 2011 at 2:54 am

      I just listened to it. It is delightfully awkward.

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