Have you ever begun something and then realized it was a really bad idea, but continued doing it anyway? I once had a chicken McNugget eating competition with a friend. The rules were simple: whoever ate more nuggets got their meal for free, the loser would be stuck with the bill. (McDonalds was kind enough to extend some temporary credit for the duration of the contest) Because nobody wants to hear all the details of it, let’s sum up this story with the result. I won, eating 80 nuggets to my friend’s 65.

Anyway, much like that contest, I quickly realized this blog post was a bad idea as soon as I started it. The information will be good, and I’m thinking you could actually buy a few of these and depend on the 10% dividend. It’s just gonna be long. I’ll try my best to keep you all entertained. That means no skimming.

Without further adieu, let’s do this thang.

1. WP Newspapers

What the hell. Let’s start with an obscure one. WP newspapers owns a half dozen newspapers in Manitoba, the big one being the Winnipeg Free Press. Even though the stock only trades at $4.15, it has a book value of over $10 per share and makes enough to cover the 5 cent distribution paid monthly. This one only trades an average of 5000 shares per day, so don’t go nuts going after this one.

2. Calument Specialty Products

These guys make all sorts of weird specialty products from oil- stuff like fuel additives and specialty lubricants, which sounds much more sexy than they really are. They’ve been consistently raising the dividend since cutting it back in 2008. Except they just took on a bunch more debt, partially because they clearly can’t afford their dividend. Hmm… maybe stay away from this one.

3. Extendicare REIT

I hate to break it to you, but unless you die young and leave an attractive corpse, you’re going to end up in an old folks home, probably soiling your Depends on an hourly basis and eating nothing but beans and overcooked roast beef. Your grandkids will never come visit, the nurses will not be nice, and you’ll turn into kind of a crotchety old fart.

In the meantime, why not profit off those old geezers? Extendicare has homes in both Canada and the United States, profiting from old people all across North America. The share price has declined recently, meaning the 7 cent monthly payout represents a 12% yield. So pile in, and then save all your profits until you’re 90, and then give them all back to Extendicare.

4. Telecom Group of New Zealand

Ooh, foreign.

Okay, they’re admittedly losing market share to both Vodaphone and some strange Kiwi-ish startup, but they still own 44%. They provide everything from home phone to cell, even throwing in internet for good measure. They’ve already paid out over 76 cents this year, and that doesn’t even include the upcoming 4th quarter dividend.

5. Horizons Alphapro Enhanced Income Equity ETF

This is one of those covered call ETFs. This one holds most of the underlying securities in the TSX 60 index, writing out of the money call options, and then collecting the premiums on these options all while holding the underlying stocks. It’s all really quite complicated. Check out my review on the BMO covered call ETF product for a more detailed explanation. But then come back, cause we’ve got a bunch more of these to go.

6. Dryfuss High Yield Strategies Fund

This closed end fund does have a pretty high 2% management fee, but I like it because they use leverage to enhance the return of the underlying junk bond portfolio. The fund borrows an additional 25%, enhancing returns while taking on a reasonable amount of risk. They’ve been steadily increasing the payout over the years, going from 2.85 cents per share per month to 4.3 cents. It currently yields just a hair under 11%. Full disclosure: I’m a shareholder of DHF.

7. Canfor Pulp Products

Next up we have raper of the environment, Canfor Pulp. Actually, I have no idea if they’re environmentally friendly or not.

The share price is a little above $10, yet the quarterly dividend is 40 cents. That, kids, is a succulent 15% yield. They’ve made over $2.50 per share over the last 4 quarters, so the dividend does seem pretty safe. Sure, the pulp business is pretty boring, but it does seem pretty ridiculously profitable. Plus, pulp and paper is a pretty steady business.

8. Hatteras Financial

I took a serious look at Hatteras a few months ago, but didn’t pull the trigger. These guys invest in mortgage backed securities, buying the (hopefully) good ones from the banks. Because there’s so much leverage involved, they’re able to supercharge their returns. Most of these returns head back to shareholders, in the form of a sexually arousing 15% dividend.

You might have heard about a little subprime mortgage crisis. These guys started trading on the stock market right before the whole house of cards collapsed, and yet they’ve paid out at least a dollar per share per quarter the whole time.

9. Coast Wholesale Appliances

Hey! Another obscure Canadian small cap. This is fun!

If you live in western Canada, you’re familiar with these guys, especially if you’re in the market for a cheap fridge. They’ve got 15 stores in the west, and one lonely one in Toronto. They’re small, but profitable, and they are making enough to cover the dividend, at least lately. This is another stock without a whole lot of liquidity, so make sure you set limit orders.

10. Frontier Communications

Ooh, another phone company. This one specializes in providing services to folks who live in the middle of nowhere. Fortunately for the company, that’s the most expensive part of nowhere, at least when it comes to getting phone service. They recently acquired the land line part of Verizon, which basically doubled the size of the company, along with the amount of debt.

The business is relatively predictable, but there is some uncertainty surrounding future growth. Hey everyone under 30, do you have a land line? Didn’t think so.

11. Superior Plus Propane

I’ll let you insert your own smelly gas joke.

This is another risky one. They recently cut the dividend from 14 cents per month to 10, and then once again to 5 cents, but are still losing money. Debt is more than doubled over the past 4 years, and the company lost money over the past year. They’ve been growing through all sorts of acquisitions.

12. MCG Capital Corporation

These guys are a bank, but with an interesting twist. They lend to small and medium size businesses exclusively. Since the financial crisis has all but dried up lending to small business, these small business investment companies can charge aggressive rates.

MCG suspended their dividend during the bad times of 2009, but reinstated it in early 2010. They’ve since raised it a couple times to 17 cents per quarter, which represents over a 15% yield. They are losing money, but they do have enough cash flow to cover the dividend.

13. Capstone Infrastructure

The former Macquarie Power and Infrastructure Corporation, these guys own all sorts of power generation assets, including hydroelectric plants and solar technology. The dividend is close to 11%. I’m bored. Hey, last one!

14.  The Data Group

These guys didn’t bother to convert from an income trust to a corporation, and I’m too lazy to research why.

They provide business with a variety of direct mail forms, address labels, commercial printing solutions and postal machines. Is there anything they don’t do? They pay close to a 20% dividend, and at least they’re not losing money. My quick glance at the financials reveals a company that doesn’t look like they can maintain the dividend long term, but what do I know?

Bonus!

15. Yellow Media

Oh wait, this dog cut it’s dividend? And it’s really struggling? Wow, who could have predicted that?

Tell everyone, yo!