It’s good to be a guy.

How good is it to be a guy? Soooooo good. We get to pee standing up. We don’t have to care about stupid things like throw pillows and panty lines. We get to fart and belch basically whenever we want. And sports. Oh man, are sports awesome. We don’t spend time focusing on life’s smallest minutiae, like some of you ladies are prone to. And, in what has to be the best part of all, we get to check out all the boobs we want, since the ladies insist on wearing shirts that show them off. Ladies, we salute you for that. We’re not sure why you do it, but kudos to you for it.

But wait, there are even more advantages to being a fella these days. It turns out that women everywhere are becoming more educated, thereby increasing their earning power. In fact, around most of the developed world, women outnumber men at university. In the U.S., women represent 56% of students on college campuses. In Australia, the number is even more pronounced, as female students are a full 60% of the total. It looks like the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s and 70s actually paid off.

As an aside, do you guys know of any, uh, study abroad programs for Canadian guys to go to university in Australia? Just curious.

Why are so many more women going to college than men? Firstly, all sorts of studies have figured out that women, as a group, do better in school than men. So they are more prone to continue their schooling. Young men are somewhat prone to making rash decisions like dropping out of school as well. Secondly, women still dominate industries such as teaching and nursing, careers that are generally pretty steady. On the other hand, men tend to dominate more physical jobs, things like the trades and construction. The problem with these male dominated jobs is that they tend to be more economically sensitive, leading to less steady employment.

The numbers back up that argument. In the United States, in October, the male unemployment rate stood at 9.5%. Meanwhile, the female unemployment rate was a full percentage rate lower, at 8.5%. Even though women still continue to get paid less than men for doing the same job (THAT’S SEXESS) they remain to be better at retaining that job, possibly because they get paid less.

This is the penultimate reason why it’s awesome to be a dude. Women are making more money than ever before. In just a couple generations, they’ve turned themselves from liabilities to financial successes. Many of them buy property and start saving for retirement long before some guy comes along to share that property. You go girls.

Wow, that sounded incredibly gay.

As a single guy who has goals of wealth, this presents me with a very good problem to have. If I can end up with a woman who makes a decent living, that’s all the more I can put into investments. Together, we can supercharge our savings and become independently wealthy that much sooner. Also, she could make me dinner. Yes, it’d be a match made in heaven.

Or, what’s also common is men marrying women who make considerably less than they do, with no immediate prospects to increase that income. This has happened for centuries. Once a guy gets to the point where he knows he’ll make decent money, the economic background (or future) of his spouse doesn’t matter so much. Her income is viewed as gravy, a nice added bonus.

So, now that women have succeeded in both furthering their education and becoming more financially independent than ever, why do they refuse to marry down?

If you ever take the time to browse the world of online dating, you’ll discover tons of smart, ambitious and successful women on there. And, just about always, they say they’re looking for the same in a guy. They’re not even subtle about it. They might as well write in big, bold letters LOSERS NEED NOT APPLY. Required on the first date are two years of tax forms and your net worth statement.

Women have had one great reason to care about their partner’s earning power, which was their lack of earning power. Now, especially with so many women holding useful degrees and decent jobs, that concern isn’t so important anymore. They expect to end up with a guy who makes at least the same amount of money they do. Is this a double standard? Or just plain good planning?

Look around at your married friends. How many of the wives make more money than their husbands? Sure, you can probably pick out one or two, but the definite majority married guys who out-earn them. Why is this so important, considering they have their own earning power? Is it because old evolutionary standards die hard? Is it because women still have this antiquated notion that guys should take care of them? Are women gold digging hussies?

It seems to me that women want to have it both ways. They want to maximize their own earnings, but still end up with a guy more successful than they are. They want to feel taken care of, yet independent at the same time. They fight for wage equality and equal opportunities, yet refuse to even consider dating someone who doesn’t meet their definition of success. They want to simultaneously take care of themselves and have a man take care of them.

Ladies, I get that you want to end up with a spouse who is able to support the family. Maybe you could just be a little more subtle about it. How pissed off would you be if a guy refused to date you because of your earning prospects? Enough with the double standard.

Tell everyone, yo!