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Americans, consider this your warning to look away. This probably won’t interest you, considering it’s about Canadian real estate and all. Hell, this probably won’t even interest most Canadians. Screw it, I’m writing it anyway. It’s my blog, and I’ll cry if I want to. I hear there’s a lot of porn on this here internet, so feel free to open up a new tab and go find some. My, uh, friend likes midget porn. Don’t judge me.

Anyhoo, there’s been a lot of talk about a real estate bubble in Canada, in between bites of poutine, sips of Labatt’s Blue and curling on TSN2. I’ve wrote about it, on at least one occasion. There is little doubt, at least in my mind, that certain markets have valuations that simply cannot be maintained. That’s fancy talk that means, in Toronto and Vancouver at least, houses cost way the hell too much. I blame you people, especially my American readers. For some reason.

The government of Canada does not want our housing bubble to pop anywhere nearly as badly as America’s. Our finance minister, Jim Flaherty, started taking steps to slow the market in 2008, as he ordered CMHC to stop insuring mortgages with 40 year amortizations and mortgages with zero down payments. This, combined with the global economic crisis, started doing what it was supposed to. Prices started declining, with the overheated markets leading the charge. But then, something funny happened. The trend reversed itself. Prices started going back up.

This was not ideal for the government. Soon, other entities started warning about a bubble. Every single Canadian bank of substance has issued a report warning about the impending doom. The only thing that varies is how much they think the damage will be. Bank of Canada governor Mark Carney has started issuing warning statements about the condo markets in “some parts of the country.” Certain bank CEOs have gone on record to request the government do something about housing.

It appears they’re listening.

Last week, finance minister Flaherty made one announcement and hinted at another. On the surface, these look like fairly innocent statements, but they could have far reaching impacts. Firstly, he announced CMHC would now be regulated by OSFI, rather than the minister of human resources. OSFI, for those of you who are unfamiliar with governmental acronyms, is Canada’s bank regulator. It’s the same regulator that, just a couple of months ago, issued a paper with all sorts of changes it wanted made to the mortgage market. Some proposed changes include:

  • Reducing the maximum value of a line of credit from 80% to 65% of a home’s value
  • Taking away interest only payments for said lines of credit
  • Eliminating cash back mortgages (a way for borrowers to get around the minimum 5% down rule)
  • Requiring home appraisals when you renew your mortgage
  • Stricter income qualification standards

Pretty fancy bullet points, huh?

When it comes to pricking the bubble, the OSFI isn’t screwing around. Now, there’s obviously no guarantee that they’re going to implement all their proposed changes to the market, but the timing of all this screams like a warning to the market. OSFI comes out with a report with mortgage suggestions all of a month before they’re put in charge of CMHC?

I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re looking to get a HELOC, (home equity line of credit) you better start with the applyin’.

The second piece of news is something Fleherty hinted at during an interview with the National Post’s review board. Take it away Jimbo:

Over time, I don’t think it’s essential that a government financial institution provide mortgage insurance in Canada. I think what’s key is that mortgage insurance is available at a reasonable cost in Canada. I think there is a role to regulate but whether we, the Canadian people, have to be the owners and shareholders of a financial institution to do this is a question. I don’t think it’s essential in the long run.

Wha? Is he really talking about the government getting out of the mortgage insurance business? Bitches be crazy, yo! Yeah, that’s right. I’m gangsta.

Private mortgage insurance actually exists in Canada, you just never hear about it. Genworth, the insurance arm of GE, holds about a quarter of the market, with a couple smaller players showing up and insuring a mortgage or two. CMHC dominates the mortgage default insurance business though, with their approximately 70% market share.

Can the remaining players pick up the slack if CMHC decides they’re no longer in the business? CMHC is nearing $600 billion in insured loans on their balance sheet. I’m not sure at what point you qualify to be a behemoth, but CMHC is large and in charge.

The fact that the government is going on the record with this idea should make you pause. The government is so concerned with our property market that it wants OUT OF THE BUSINESS OF INSURING IT. CMHC insurance has been around for decades, and it’s pretty much been a guaranteed money maker for the government. As long as there are less than 3% of people defaulting, CMHC makes money.

It’s been a terrific business for the Canadian taxpayer. The only reason Flaherty is hinting about getting out of the business is because the government is concerned about how large CMHC has become. Would you hint about getting out of a business you thought was terrific?

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, just remember a couple things. Canada’s housing market is too expensive. If you live in Toronto or Vancouver, get out while you still have time. And, the government is clearly attempting to intervene in the mortgage market. Should the government do that, or should they let this play out?

 

As I type this post, I’m watching BNN, which is the case when I type out approximately 92% of my stuff. The other 8% is the best of the crap churned out by the million monkeys I have typing at a million laptops. As an aside, does anyone know a good place to buy a whole bunch of bananas? The monkeys are eating each other’s poo for now, but we all know that isn’t sustainable.

Anyway, an online brokerage that advertises a lot on BNN is Interactive Brokers. IB is definitely targeting high frequency traders, but I often wonder why it isn’t more popular with normal investors. The costs are outstanding. If you were to buy 100 shares of Research in Motion, you would pay all of a dollar in trading commissions. Trades on U.S. exchanges are even cheaper, checking in at a whole 0.5 cents per share, with a minimum cost of $1.00. They also give an investor access to all sorts of different European and Asian exchanges. Want to buy shares directly from Japan? That’ll cost you a whole 0.8% of the value of your trade.

Costs have come down significantly over the years, but IB is still significantly cheaper than all the others. And yet, I see nary a mention of IB when people discuss online brokerages. Questrade charges $4.99 for a minimum trade, which is pretty much the maximum you’d pay at IB.

I don’t get why they’re not more popular. Maybe it’s because they market themselves to day traders, rather than personal finance bloggers?

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

I’m impressed I still have readers after suggesting Carly Rae last week. I may have just taken the last 4 minutes to watch that video again. Let’s move on.

Yeah, the German subtitles on the lyrics are strange. It’s Johnny Cash. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care for Germans.

Simpsons Quote

Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!

Smithers: Wha…? What?!

Mr. Burns: You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. “Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!”

Smithers: Exactly, sir.

Gambling Is Fun

I went 1-1-1 last week, which has to be the most vanilla week since that week I ate nothing but vanilla ice cream and drank nothing but vanilla extract. That was a good week.

I’m going to take the San Francisco Homos Giants to beat San Diego, because San Diego is worse than herpes. (I mean the baseball team, not the city. San Diego is a nice place) I’m also going to take Texas to beat Tampa Bay, because one of those teams is really good. Finally, I’m going to take W. Brett Wilson’s Nashville Predators to bounce back against Phoenix. Nashville dominated game 1, and they’re generally a better team than Phoenix.

Overall record: 33-45-3

A Post You Might Have Missed

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I just finally got Google Analytics set up on my blog. So now, I know exactly which posts you’re all spending your time on. Only I could make this creepy.

Apparently I hate college. It probably has to do with all those times I tried to pick up college girls, but they were looking for someone a little more mature than me, like college guys. Anyway, go check out the case against college. It would be delightfully ironic if you read it during class at college.

The More You Know

Can you literally feel your IQ go up after you read this section? Considering the rest of my blog, it probably just returns your IQ to where it was before you showed up.

Du hast“ German, “You have”, whose title is a play on the homophones ”hast” and “hasst” (“have” and “hate”), is a song by German industrial metal band Rammstein. It was released as the second single from their second album Sehnsucht (1997). It has appeared on numerous soundtracks for films, most notably The Matrix: Music from the Motion Picture, and is featured in the music video games Guitar Hero 5 and Rock Band 3.

The main guitar riff of the song shows a strong resemblance to Ministry’s song “Just One Fix”; the band themselves have cited Ministry as one of their primary influences.

Ah, Rammstein. Those crazy, angry, dirty Germans.

Dirty Word In Words With Friends

I played ‘cock’ when playing with my buddy Dale. He is in Vegas this week, yet is using his time to play Words with Friends rather than go out and find a hooker.

If you want to play me, my user is ‘nelsmi’. You know it’ll make all your non-sexual dreams come true. (And even some of the sexual ones)

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

I think I’m going to keep posting girls from Facebook until said company actually goes public. I’ve found enough pictures that I can wait for years.

I hate bathroom mirror pics too, but you gotta admit she’s worth it. I’m almost tempted to join Facebook again.

Related plug: like Financial Uproar on Facebook. It’ll literally be better than sex with the above girl. (Note: not really)

Time For Links

I’m going to give the coveted top spot to Paula from Afford Anything, who uses science to determine dollar cost averaging kind of sucks. Most people don’t have giant sums of money sitting around, so they have no choice but to DCA. Still, good post.

Darwin’s Money is getting  a vasectomy. He makes some points about money in the process of making us all uncomfortable.

For some reason, I’m endlessly fascinated by ethics and money. I’ve wrote about it a few times. I’ve read about it a few more. What causes people to do bad things for money? Dave over at Canadian Dream takes a look at the issue.

My internet sugar mama, Kathryn, points out how it’s crappy to be a renter in New York City these days. This situation is happening all across the U.S., because people just aren’t buying houses.

Control Your Cash named the April retard of the month. Seeing the word retard made me cry, but then I scrolled back up to the babe of the week, and my tears turned into a boner.

That’s all I got this week. Step up your game for next week, blogosphere.

Carnivals

I gotta pee.

Have a good week everyone.

 

Tweet I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but dividend growth investing is kind of a big deal these days. How big? Jason Segel temporarily took a break from making crappy movies to complain how dividend growth investing was stealing his thunder. Dividend growth investing was the actual sponsor of Taylor Swift’s tour last summer. Apple briefly considered calling Read More [...]

 

Tweet I try to watch Market Call Tonight as often as I can. For those of you unaware, Market Call Tonight is an hour long show on BNN (Canada’s CNBC) that features a manager of a mutual fund/hedge fund/whatever. Viewers call in and ask this expert questions about certain stocks, and the fund manager tells everyone what they think of Read More [...]

 

Tweet So today is Earth Day, huh? It’s the day where everybody is supposed to hug a tree and talk about how awesome nature is. And yet, Earth Hour is on the final Sunday of March. Couldn’t these two groups get together and have their stupid Earth events on the same day? Were they scared they’d steal each other’s thunder Read More [...]

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