I’m not about to give you guys my phone number or anything, but you need to know I have a very easy to remember cell number. This is a throwback to when I was in a business that required I be easy to contact, so I got the easiest phone number I could. It’s not quite 555-5555, but it’s close.
Anyway, on Thursday, I have the following text message exchange with a random guy:
Me: Who’s this?
Him: Depends on who this is.
Him: Is this Maria?
Him: Who is it then?
Me: I asked you first.
Him: Alright, this is Daylon.
Me: I don’t know anyone named Daylon. Are you sure you have the right number?
Him: I’m sure. This is the number Maria gave me.
Me: Does Maria have a reason to give you the wrong number?
Him: No. I met her at the bar. She seemed to really like me.
At this point, it’s pretty clear that Maria gave him a fake number, and that number happened to be my real number. Well done Maria. I wonder if Maria was even her real name.
Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
So many choices of songs that aren’t Call Me Maybe.
Franz Ferdinand is definitely my favorite band named after an arch-duke. Plus, their tunes are incredibly catchy. I dare you to listen to Dark of The Matinee without your feet moving. The lead singer is an ugly dude though.
Homer: Look, boy, here’s my advice on women: Don’t give them nicknames like “Jumbo” or “Boxcar,” and always get receipts. Makes you look like a business guy.
Gambling Is Fun
Another week, another 1-2 finish. Half the reason why I took last week off is to avoid yet another 1-2 week. The other half had to do with laziness. I’m going to go with different strategy this week. Instead of taking the teams I think will win, I’m going to take the opposite side of the same bet, which obviously has a 100% chance of breaking the 1-2 streak.
With that said, I’m going with Tampa Bay over the Braves, the Mariners over the Rockies, and the under (4.5 goals) in the Phoenix and LA Kings game. I swear, if I go 1-2 again, I’m going to quit this stupid category.
Overall record: 35-49-3
A Post You Might Have Missed
Sometimes, when I look for this posts from a year ago, it hardly seems like it’s been a year since I wrote them. And then I realize that’s how old people talk, so I slam a Red Bull and go loiter outside the 7-11 to regain some of my youth.
Anyway, back in the day I wrote a little thing called You Don’t Know Squat. Unfortunately, even us sexy bloggers don’t have any sort of insider advantage over Wall Street guys. Is it still possible to invest our own money actively and beat the market? Click back to find out, and for only a minimum of penis jokes.
The More You Know
Admit it: you’ve read the Wikipedia entry for at least 4 dirty terms. It’s okay to be curious. NOW HIT ME.
Lahore Stock Exchange (Guarantee) Limited (LSE) is Pakistan’s second largest stock exchange after the Karachi Stock Exchange. It is located in Lahore, Pakistan.The Lahore Stock Exchange (Guarantee) Limited came into existence in October 1970, under the Securities and Exchange Ordinance of 1969 by the Government of Pakistan in response to the needs of the provincial metropolis of the province of Punjab. It initially had 83 members and was housed in a rented building in the crowded Bank Square area of Lahore. The number of listed companies has increased to 519 since its inception. With 37 sectors of the economy and 519 listed companies with total capital of Rs. 555.67 billion having market capitalization of around Rs. 2.51 trillion . The LSE has 152 members of which 81 are corporate, and 54 are individual members. The LSE was the first stock exchange in Pakistan to use the internet and currently 50% of its transactions are via the internet.
I just learned of this stock exchange’s existence, and I immediately want to buy some stocks listed on the exchange. Suicide Bombers Inc. would be an interesting stock, don’t you think? I’m just not sure how they’d make money.
Dirty Word Words With Friends
Friend of the blog Joelaw played booger, while I turned toil into toilet. I’ll let you guys decide which word is dirtier.
If you want to play me, my user is nelsmi. It will be more sexy than Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry having some heavy petting action.
Well played on the F-Me boots, Nelson. Well played, indeed.
Now, onto this week’s epic fail. Your picture of Trish Stratus.
While I appreciate and applaud your affinity for naughty librarian or
dirty secretary glasses, could you have picked a worse picture of TS?
…I expect there to be a glasses AND F-Me boots photo next week!
Glasses and hooker boots? That’s asking a lot, but I’ll see what I can scrounge up….
After literally 20 minutes of searching, I found nothing. Lots of girls with sunglasses wearing hooker boots. Not so many just wearing regular glasses. So screw it. I’m going with this instead:
They’re basically falling out. What more do you expect from me?
Time For Links
This will be an extra long version, since I’ve got two weeks worth of links to go through. They’re all good, so read until the end.
Top spot this week goes to Don’t Quit Your Day Job, who I think should totally quit their day jobs and bum around South America for 6 months just to screw with people. PK writes about the poor job stock analysts do, and why you’re foolish to follow their recommendations.
If I had more than one top spot, I’d share it with Frank Voisin, who actually took the time to crunch the numbers and figure out which properties are the best to own in Monopoly. Remember this, just in case you ever play Monopoly again.
Meanwhile, we have the affable Len Penzo giving us one of those top 10 lists bloggers are so fond of. Unlike 98% of the others though, Len’s is entertaining, funny, and talks about something other than emergency funds. Len lists 10 monumental product flops, most of which are absolutely hilariously bad, given the benefit of hindsight.
I hearts me some Seth Godin. He’s got a list of things you should do to make money online. It’s better than most everything else on the internet on the subject.
My homie JT McGee heads over to Darwin’s Money and churns out a terrific piece on the state of the timeshare market, and how legit owners are paying for the sins of their deadbeat peers.
Hot personal finance chick, Vanessa from Random Thoughts and Acronyms, has a perspective on the Quebec student protests that’s unmatched by every other blogger who’s tackled the subject, since she lives right smack dab in the middle of all the shenanigans. She brings some good level headed perspective to the topic.
Paula from Afford Anything consistently churns out content that’s better than yours. She points out that letting invisible money scripts run your life is a pretty silly thing to do. You know what else is silly? Not sending me sexy pics of you in your underwear, female readers.
Control Your Cash ran a guest post from a dog. And then they used a monkey for a butler and a cat for a wheelbarrow.