Sunday Morning Dump: Motorbike Drivers

I want to punch about 96% of motorbike drivers in the throat. Obviously I won’t, since everybody who rides a motorbike is a little more bad-ass than me and could therefore kick my ass. So instead I’ll complain about it on my blog.

Motorbike guys always do about 30km/hr above the speed limit, weaving in and out of traffic without signalling. One guy passed me (in the chip truck) as I was going around a corner. The chip truck has approximately 38297 blind spots, something people don’t realize until they actually drive the thing. So you can imagine how frustrated I get when people decide they need to pass me when I’m not expecting them to do so. Cars are one thing, since they’re easier to spot in my mirrors, but motorbikes are a little tougher to spot, especially when they’re whizzing by.

Logic would dictate, when you have nothing to protect you but some leather and a helmet, that you’d drive a little slower and be a little more careful. No motorbike guys do this. Maybe they think their long-ass beards will protect them in case of a crash. Anyway, if you drive a motorbike, can you just drive like the rest of us? You’re going to crash that thing eventually anyway, it’ll hurt less if you’re doing the speed limit.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

OMG NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM IN OCTOBER AND A NEW SINGLE! To say I’m unreasonably excited is an understatement.

Hey, you got like 12 weeks in a row without her. Stop your whining. You know we’re destined to be together. I HEREBY DUMP ALL MY OTHER INTERNET GIRLFRIENDS.

Simpsons Quote

Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. [Makes sound effect, laughs]. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

Gambling Is Fun

Another 2-1 week last week, thanks to Houston and their ability to suck. They fired their manager last night, which is absolutely hilarious. He has the worst team in the league with hardly any major league ready prospects. But you know, fire the manager.

Who are they playing today? WHO CARES. I’m betting against Houston. I’m also going with Washington over the Mets. It’s about time the real Mets showed up. And finally, I’m going with the Red Sox (plus the 1.5 runs) in the Sunday night game against the Yankees. The Sox haven’t been horrible lately. They can keep it close.

Overall record: 52-68-3

A Post You Might Have Missed

I’d like to give a big welcome to all my new readers. I give it another six days until you get all offended and leave in a huff. In the meantime, go enjoy the archives. Go comment on some posts that are about a million years old like a certain someone did yesterday.

This week’s post is from 2010, where it’s revealed that I’ve been making fun of the Simple Dollar for 2 years now. Well how about that? Anyway, go back and see how I disagree with the Trentster about his parenting techniques. Because if there’s something every parent loves, it’s when people without kids tell them what to do.

The More You Know

Last week’s topic just bummed me out. Let’s go back to the random machine and try to find a topic a little funner, which apparently is a word. HIT ME WIKI.

Zoës Kitchen is a fast casual restaurant chain headquartered in Birmingham, Alabama, United States. Serving a menu of variety of chicken salad, pasta salad, pitas and grilled chicken sandwiches, the chain has grown to include 54 locations across 12 states with plans to expand further. Zoës’ menu features Mediterranean-inspired comfort food with made-from-scratch recipes using fresh ingredients. The company is built upon a philosophy of balanced and healthy living including spending time with family and friends over simple, tasty and freshly prepared food. Kevin Miles, who joined Zoës in 2009, succeeded Greg Dollarhyde as president in March 2011.

Wait. There’s a healthy fast food place headquartered in Birmingham, Alabama? That’s gotta by wrong. You lied to me Wikipedia.

Dirty Word In Words With Friends

After such a bounty of dirt last week, pickings dried up this week. The best I can come up with is ‘gay’, which I mostly played this morning just so we’d have a dirty word this week. You should also know I made all my moves this morning while pooping.

If you want to play me as I poop, my user is ‘nelsmi’. I promise the stink can’t transport through our phones.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

I googled “girl hot” and this is what popped up. Something else popped up too, but lets not talk about that.

I like her little purse. It’s just just enough room for her phone, wallet and condoms. Because who goes to the club looking like that if they’re just going to dance?

Time For Links

In top spot this week is Control Your Cash, who managed to secure a guest post from one Trent Hamm. The advice dispensed in said guest post? Wonderful.

Money Mamba thinks more companies should buy back their shares. I agree, providing they’re actually trading at some sort of discount. If shares are at a 5 year high? Yeah, not so much.

Next up is Mochi and Macrons, who points out the fallacy of local manufacturing. Also, it will shock her to know I’ve never had a macron before. If anybody wants to recommend a place in NYC to get good ones, the comment section is all yours.

Weakanomics points out the crummy prospects for most law school grads, at least for most people. It’s an interesting post.

The Economist has a good article on the economics of self storage units. That sound you hear? That’s Dave Hester in the background saying “yuuuuuuup”.

Krystal (nope, not typing out her gigantic long url) points out that you can afford anything, just not everything. I’m wondering which European city she typed that from. I’m going to go with Sjtiagahg, which is a city I just made up.

Speaking of affording anything, my girl Paula (not my internet girlfriend, since dumped them all) teaches everyone a lesson on negotiating when she tried to get affordanything.com.

Carnivals

I was rejected for being NOT FUNNY. At least I think.

Have a good week everyone.

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