Yeah, remember how I said this was going to be a weekly series? Let’s not talk about that.
Before we get to the ogling, a slight change in the voting. Instead of leaving your top 2 choices in the comments, there’s going to be a nice anonymous poll at the bottom of the post. Because who wants to publicly declare to the world that they find Catherine Murray attractive? THIS GUY DOES.
Just before we get started, a word from today’s sponsor, Cialis. If you’re dead in the pants, ask your doctor about Cialis. Your penis will thank you.
1. Becky Quick
QUICK! OGLE HER!
First up today is the lovely Becky Quick from CNBC’s Squawk Box, which airs weekday mornings from 6am to 9am Eastern, meaning it’s officially too early for me to catch anything but the last half an hour of it. Which is too bad, because I can think of at least 1,582,403 worse women to wake up to than Becky Quick.
Becky turned 40 last month and has at least one kid, so she’s officially entered MILF territory. I usually try not to go for women with kids, but I’d totally make an exception for Becky. We’d talk about the market and then afterwards go for milkshakes. It would be the most boring thing in the history of the world. I KNOW HOW TO TREAT THE LADIES RIGHT.
Andrew Hallam, an international best-selling author who still speaks to me for some reason, actually got to meet Becky when he went to the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting. He is the nicest guy on the whole internet, so kudos to him.
Becky is on the Twitter. If you follow her, you can officially be as cool as me.
2. Courtney Reagan
OH I’D COURT THAT.
Next up is Courtney Reagan, who is a general reporter at CNBC, which means she goes and reports on whatever the hell they tell her. Maybe I should invent some sort of fake business news story and pitch said story to CNBC so they’ll send Courtney out to report on it. Then we’ll talk about the markets and go out for milkshakes, which is my default date choice for all women, not just ones who report on the stock market.
Courtney has also spent some time on the mother NBC, as well as showing up on MSNBC sometimes too. She is everywhere, including my dreams. According to her CNBC bio, she’s currently pursuing her MBA, which makes sense for somebody who works at CNBC. If she wanted to punch Larry Kudlow in the face, she’d officially be some form of Goddess.
She is on the Twitter, follow her at CourtReagan.
3. Sandra Smith
GOOD LAST NAME.
Next up is Sandra Smith from Fox Business and formerly of Fox News, as you can clearly tell from the picture. It’s okay, we won’t hold that against her.
Sandra is also a reporter for Fox Business, and before that was a reporter for Bloomberg. All she needs to do is join CNBC to attain the holy trinity of business reporting. Here’s hoping, I’d totally watch her and Melissa Lee sit next to each other and smile while talking about Apple’s latest earnings.
We don’t get Fox Business up here in Canada, which is a damn shame. How am I supposed to watch Sandra report on things? I didn’t even know she existed until I started doing research for this series started finding pics to ogle of hot chicks in business attire. I’ve had to go 29 years without knowing about Sandra? We have the same last name, which means we’re distant cousins. I DON’T CARE. STEP UP YOUR GAME, CRTC.
If she’s on the Twitter, I couldn’t find her. This is probably a good thing.
4. Kristine Owram
NELSON’S REDHEAD FETISH.
I first put together the list for this like a month ago, thinking I’d write all 4 of these posts at once. Naturally, my ambition is less than Mother Teresa’s sex drive, so they got put off. As I’m apt to do, I lost the list, so I was forced to make a new one. In the meantime, I discovered Kristine reporting on BNN, where I immediately fell in lust.
She’s been a producer for the network for a little while now, but they’ve just recently started using her on screen, probably because they heard that I have an affinity for redheads. (That sound you hear? That’s Kristine rushing out to dye her hair.) And I, for one, am I fan. Put her on Market Call Tonight. Fire Michael Hainsworth. No, wait, that’s harsh. Just reassign him. After all, he is a friend of the blog. Scroll down to the comments of the linked post.
Besides, it’s obvious Kristine hasn’t been on TV very long. Her Twitter following is somewhat, well, I don’t want to say inadequate, but I’m going to. As of this very moment, Kristine has 245 followers, partially because I just followed her. YOU’RE WELCOME, MISSY. Meanwhile, I have 603 followers, and my feed is nothing but Storage Wars jokes and lame attempts to hit on my followers. She should pass me sometime next week, but I’ll still seize this opportunity to gloat about it just the same.
Seriously guys, 245 followers. She’s not even as famous as ME. Out of all the women on this list, I like my chances with her the best. What woman doesn’t like being ogled by some guy she’s never met on the internet?
VOTING TIME. This is the poll you use to vote. Don’t vote in the comments. I guess you could if you want to be some sort of bad-ass, but you’re not getting bonus points or anything. There’s also been a poll added to part 1 of the series. So go vote on that one too. It’s the lord’s work.
Loading ...Note: If you’re reading this via RSS or e-mail, you have to visit the site to vote.
That’s it kids. And for my female readers… meh. I don’t care.
What about Maria Bartiromo?