There I was, on Friday night, just sitting at home and minding my own business. I had just watched the Blue Jays beat the Tampa Bay Rays, which was one of the most exciting games of the year. I get a call from my buddy, who invites me over to eat some cake that his wife made. He sang the praises of this cake, saying it would be unlike any cake I had ever eaten before. How are you supposed to turn down cake with that much hype? THIS GUY CAN’T. So I went over there and was served this.
How awesome is that cake? It was just white cake that she dyed all the various colors, so it just tasted like normal cake. Except it kept confusing my brain. My taste buds expected exotic tastes, but all it got was white cake. It was all very confusing and scary. I promptly dubbed it the “homo rainbow” cake and cracked a lot of jokes about how it should have its own parade. And yes, those are Skittles on the top.
Meanwhile, yesterday night while flipping channels, I discovered the Lingerie Football League. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE. These are hot women, usually just graduated college athletes, who are running around and tackling each other while wearing lingerie. I MUST SEE A GAME. For some reason, Alberta is without a team while Saskatchewan has two. This is an outrage. I don’t want to go there but I might have to.
Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
The video is out for Taylor Swift’s new single. Her hipster glasses disappoint me. Ladies, a tip. Glasses are hot, but enough with the big-ass 80s hipster glasses. They are not attractive.
In the spirit of the cake, let me present The Rainbow by Ween. It’s kind of a fun song to talk about as you eat rainbow cake with Skittles on it.
Narrator: Roger Meyers loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world but got in trouble for his short “Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors”
Gambling Is Fun
Ho hum, another week, another 2-1 record. I am a gambling GOD. I should start up some sort of gambling tips site. All I’ll do is tell people to bet against Houston.
Houston plays Cincinnati, a team that’s actually good. You know they’re going to lose. The Phillies are 7-3 in their last 10, so I’m taking the hot team to beat the Braves. Plus Paul Malholm is pitching for the Braves, and he kinda sucks. (Upon further inspection he actually doesn’t suck, at least lately. Oh well.) I’m also going to take the under (48 points) as the Winnipeg Blue Bombers take on the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Both those teams suck.
Overall record: 56-70-3
A Post You Might Have Missed
I’m distracted right now watching Hardcore Pawn. And like my archives, that show is filled with good deals, lots of solid business basics and a large number of sassy black chicks. Please don’t abandon my blog to watch that show.
Did you know you can hold your mortgage in your RRSP? I’m not sure it’s the strategy for me, but you might be a little aroused by it. That post will tell you all the dirty details.
Nelson’s So Funny
It has come to my attention that I stole this idea from Joe from Timeless Finance. Do I care? HELL TO THE NO. Now funny tweet me.
I’d rather give a dirty hobo a reach around than eat anything with mustard on it.
If you like mustard I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Even if you’re a sexy member of the female population. I just can’t take that chance.
The More You Know
Pedia my Wiki, yo.
The Road Island Diner is a rare classic Streamline Moderne 60′ x 16′ Art Deco diner car restaurant located in the remote mountain city of Oakley, Utah in the United States. It was prefabricated as diner # 1107 in 1939 at the Elizabeth, New Jersey factory of the Jerry O’Mahony Diner Company.
After construction, it was displayed on exhibition at the 1939 World’s Fair in New York. After the Fair, It was sold to Al McDermott who had it towed it to Fall River, Massachusetts where it operated for 14 years. In 1953, it was sold to Greek immigrant Tommy Borodemos, who had it transported down the turnpike to Middletown, Rhode Island, where it operated for 4 generations as Tommy’s Deluxe Diner. It closed its doors in May 2006 and was purchased in 2007 by Utah businessman, Keith Walker, who transported it to Oakley, Utah. After a year of restoration, it was opened in July 2008. It is said to be the only pre-war, Art-deco streamline (constructed to mimic a rail dining car) diner west of the Mississippi River.
Remember in Mighty Ducks when the guy’s mom worked as a waitress in a railroad car diner? Ever since then I’ve wanted to eat at one. ROAD TRIP.
Dirty Word In Words With Friends
Somebody played ‘tug’ which I suppose could be dirty in the right situation. You people continue to disappoint me bitterly.
If you want to play, my user is nelsmi. You may dominate me, both at the game and sexually.
Babe Loosely Related To Finance
You knew it was coming. Here’s some chick from the Lingerie Football League.
Her name is Karen Zavack and apparently she wears number 9. She might be number 9 in my program, but she’ll always be number 1 in my pants.