Heh. You all are probably thinking this preamble is going to brag about some girl I picked up, or something to that effect. And you’re wrong. After being encouraged by some people to write about this, and because I’m suffering from a little writer’s block, you’re going to get the Financial Uproar philosophy of casual sex.
Basically, this whole “sexual revolution” is yet another symptom of our epidemic of being unable to wait for anything. Why wait for an actual relationship to form when you can just get a little tipsy and cap the night off with a little humpy? For some reason, when it comes to sex, crappy decisions made under the influence of alcohol are deemed to be acceptable. The dance of courtship has been reduced to two drunk people finding each other in a crowded club and dry humping for a little while. Is this what we’ve devolved to?
What happened to the thrill of the chase? What happened to butterflies before trying to initiate physical contact with your prospective sweetie? I’m no prude, I’m not under any false assumptions that sex should be reserved for people who are married. I do think, that you should at least care about the person.
Sex used to be an expression of love, or at least an expression of feelings towards a person. Now, it’s become a simple exchange. Sometimes it’s an exchange of orgasms, other times each party just wants to be desired.
You know how you’re supposed to dress for the job you want, not the one you have? Maybe it’s time to apply the same principles to dating. If you want a lady/gentleman, maybe you should act in a way that will attract something similar. Stop dating several people at a time. Maybe wait until you actually care about someone before you jump on their penis. If you set a higher standard, you’ll attract likewise.
Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
For today’s song, I decided to check my Shazam tags for songs I apparently liked. I’m officially reaching the bottom of the barrel here guys.
This is somebody named Alyssa Reid, doing some sort of generic pop/R&B song. Snoop Dogg shows up in the middle to do some sort of rap interlude. It’s just average enough to not be terrible.
Homer: Oh! This is a map of nuclear sites around the country. As a safety inspector, I’m responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.
Lisa: Why are there so many burnt-out ones?
Homer: ‘Cause they won’t hire me an assistant.
Gambling Is Fun
STUPID G.D. REPLACEMENT REFS, SCREWING UP THE CALL THAT WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME A 3-0 RECORD LAST WEEK. MAY YOU ALL BURN IN HELL.
Houston plays Milwaukee, you all know which team I’m betting on. This is the last week I can ride this gravy train, so here’s hoping for another Houston crap show. I’m also taking the New York Giants plus the one point against the Philadelphia Eagles. I picked Michael Vick for my fantasy team, and he’s stunk up the joint for the first 3 weeks. So I benched him for Robert Griffin THE THIRD. Take that, dog murderer. I’m also going with the Minnesota Vikings plus the 4 points against Detroit. I have no reason for this pick.
Overall record: 60-75-3
A Post You Might Have Missed
No time for preamble. I spent too much time explaining why I’m masturbating tonight.
One of the hardest decisions for prospective home buyers is the decision of whether they go for a variable or fixed rate mortgage. And whether there should be a sex dungeon in the basement. I can’t help you with the sex dungeon part, but I did weigh in on the fixed vs. variable debate.
Nelson’s So Funny
My Twitter feed is better than puppies, ice cream and rainbows put together. How about we do some sort of weekly count of how many followers I have, like I’ve seen other blogs do. What’s that? No one cares? Well, THAT’S NOT NICE.
Hey @chickfila, I think the McNuggets I just ate turned me gay. How do I get cured?
— Nelson Smith (@financialuproar) September 30, 2012
Hey, I’m only 3 months late on all the Chick-Fil-A jokes. Stay tuned in February for all my U.S. election jokes.
The More You Know
This section is the next best thing to turning over my blog to the approximately 6275 guest post requests I get on a daily basis. It’s only a matter of time before I just stop trying.
Preacher’s Kid is a 2010 Christian film directed by Stan Foster, loosely based on the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Original songs and score are composed by recording artist and music producer Tim Miner. The film was written and directed by Stan Foster, and stars LeToya Luckett, Durrell “Tank” Babbs, Clifton Powell, Gregory Alan Williams, Rae’Ven Larrymore Kelly, Kiki Sheard, Sharif Atkins, Tammy Townsend, and Essence Atkins. The film was released to theaters on January 29, 2010 by Warner Premiere.
Whoa! Preacher’s Kid sure did attract all the big stars. How did this film not get an Oscar?
Dirty Word In Words With Friends
Pissing. Hey, whatever floats your boat.
If you want to play, I’m ‘nelsmi’. We’ll be special pals forever.
Babe Loosely Related To Finance
I watched Jon Stewart the other night. Besides a hilarious bit from Patrick Stewart, the best part of the show was Olivia Wilde.
You can totally see her nipples. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.
Time For Links
I’m going to start things off this week with Funancials, who recently got pitched a credit card while on an airplane. That’s good sellin’ by the airline, right?
You’ve all heard about older workers having problems getting jobs, right? Well, it turns out that hiring managers still want to hire boomers over their younger counterparts, as Weakanomics explains.
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the story about the Mexican fisherman and the American tourist before, but Don’t Quit Your Day Job uses the story to remind us about the value of freedom.
Len Penzo lists 4 reasons why people should reconsider going to college. If I could be sexually attracted to a blog post, this would be the one.
Martin from Studenomics takes a look at early retirement. Click through for the comment from your’s truly about how much I hate the movement.
And finally, we have The Tightwad Tale, who points out maybe us PF bloggers are just a little too excited about the financial status of our dates.
Remember when they used to have horses at carnivals?
Have a good week everyone.