You might remember, about a week ago, where I went on a bit of an anti casual sex rant at the beginning of the Sunday morning dump. I stated that sex should be reserved for people who at least care about each other, and that casual sex was nothing better than renting women. I longed for the good ol’ days of men actually courting women, not the promiscuous reality we have today.

And guess what? I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The problem with my stance on casual sex is that it was based on a moral issue – the moral issue being that sex should be something that’s treated with respect. It shouldn’t be something that should be simply exchanged, I thought, it should come from something deeper. Sex should be special. You’ll notice the underlying theme with the whole argument – that sex is something of value, something to be cherished.

But, what if you looked at sex from a strictly economic perspective? We all want sex, those of us not getting it regularly from another person routinely perform it on ourselves. Most people want the real thing though, because it’s pretty awesome. What’s the most cost effective way of getting it?

Let’s look at the traditional relationship. Since we’re all PFers, let’s assume that you and your sweetie split everything 50-50. You split every bill at every restaurant evenly. You both drive each other around equal amounts, and you spend equal amounts on gifts. Your net cost is, seemingly, zero.

But hold on a minute. We all know, especially in those first few months of a relationship, there’s always this desire to do stuff with your special friend. I’ve easily spent hundreds of dollars per month for the first few months of a relationship, and I’m betting you have too. This settles down after a while, but the cost persists throughout. I never minded, since I just looked at it as a cost to getting laid regularly.

The bottom line? Being in a relationship costs hundreds of dollars each month. And let’s not forget big expensive down the road stuff like rings and 38 different paint colors because the WOMAN CAN’T MAKE UP HER DAMN MIND.

Meanwhile, let’s take a look at casual sex. What’s the cost involved there?

There’s probably going to be a few dates involved at the beginning, since you have to make sure she’s not a serial killer. There’s probably a bit of an ongoing cost, you’re going to do stuff with each other at least a bit. But that’s it. There’s no spending every night together. There’s no special weekends away. It’s just an exchange of sex. From an economic standpoint, it makes far more sense.

Both parties bring something to a relationship. Generally, men think women are hot, while women are attracted to a man’s status, confidence, sense of humor, etc. From a purely economic standpoint though, we have a problem. Over time, a woman’s hotness will fade. But generally, a man’s social status, confidence and sense of humor will at least stay constant, if not slowly increase over time. Which is why, economically, men should rent sex.

I’m not saying the guys reading this should never end up marrying their special lady. If she brings enough to the table, by all means make it permanent. But the beauty of a casual sex relationship is that both parties can get to know the other one before things become official. Think of it as taking the car out for a spin a few times before writing a cheque for it. (Because car payments are a special kind of evil.) Sure, courting your special lady accomplishes the same thing, except at a much greater cost.

I know a girl (who, admittedly, I had no chance with) who was stunningly beautiful. Like I’m talking hotter than the imaginary offspring of Taylor Swift and that smokin’ hot Italian chick from the Food Network. She had it all – gigantic boobs, a terrific ass, great smile, nice hair, you name it. There was just one little problem.

She was kinda miserable.

She is the perfect example of what I’m talking about. I pined after this particular girl for YEARS, even though she kinda drove me insane. I could see nothing but the hotness.  So yeah, I can understand why you’d be tempted. By all means, go ahead, assuming you rent that ass. That is not ass you want to buy.

Ladies, this applies to you too. Just flip around everything I said and ignore the part about boobs. Unless you’re into boobs. Take your prospective man out for a test drive too.

That’s why, at least from an economic perspective, casual sex (or, as the kids call it, friends with benefits) makes all sorts of sense. I’m not sure if I buy it from a moral argument, but I at least get the economics behind it. It’s just more cost effective sex.

Tell everyone, yo!