Yeah, sorry guys. It’s late, and I got nothing. Compiling a list post always seems like a bit of a cop-out, so allow me to apologize in advance. I’d promise something more, uh, substantial on Friday, but considering my work ethic, who knows. Anyway, here we are. It’s 19 songs about money. Enjoy.
1. Money For Nothing – Dire Straits
First off, I had no idea this super long version of this song existed. It’s good. It’s about doing nothing all day except playing in a band and getting paid a crapload. How can you not like that?
2. Money, Money, Money – Abba
The chicks in Abba were pretty hot back in the 70s, right? Old readers, help me out here.
Listen to the lyrics closely. I’m pretty sure the ladies of Abba are talking about trying to find some rich dude. Those damn gold diggers.
3. Billionaire – Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars
This video has been viewed over 136 million times on Youtube. I guess that means it’s good. It’s all about being rich and the fun stuff they’d buy/do if they were. Yet there’s no mention of all the saving/frugality they’d have to do to get there. BAD PF BLOGGERS/MUSIC GUYS.
4. What Do You Do For Money Honey – AC/DC
In this song, the boys from AC/DC suggest that a certain lady may go all the way if you give her some money. Sorry, I don’t have her phone number. Just go to Vegas, you’ll find somebody. Don’t ask me how I know that.
5. Money – Michael Jackson
Not that I particularly care for Michael Jackson, but I should probably include the relevant song from the guy who was the king of pop. And nose jobs. And being a pedophile. Way to be weird, MJ.
6. Take The Money And Run – Steve Miller Band
Now we’re talkin. This song is about a couple who decides to rob and shoot somebody down in Texas. Who knew a song about murder and robbery could be so peppy and rockin. Don’t worry, I’ll return to ending my words with ‘ing’ soon enough.
7. If I Had 1,000,000 Dollars – Barenaked Ladies
If I had a million dollars, I’d have way more fun than the Barenaked Ladies. Seriously, how lame are these guys? Taylor Swift is more badass than these guys.
8. Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles
I’m not sure The Beatles were right on this one. You can certainly buy love for the night, and there are many women who would love to be swept off their feet by a sugar daddy. It’s still a fun tune though, and since it first came out in 1964, we know it was actually recorded before they were all spaced out on cocaine.
9. Mo Money Mo Problems – Notorious B.I.G.
YO! IT’S BIGGIE ALL UP HERE IN THE HIZZ HOUSE!
Was that was the kids say? I honestly have no idea. Anyway, Biggie speaks the truth. With more money does come more problems. The good news is that these new problems are much better than the old problems. Except for Biggie. Poor Biggie.
10. Gold Digger – Kanye West
Even though I hate Kanye West because of what he did to my girl Taylor, I have to admit his craziness is pretty entertaining. It’s yet another song about gold diggers. This one is pretty catchy. Put it on your iPod already.
11. Takin’ Care of Business – BTO
When I worked at a grocery store back in the day, this was my boss’s favorite song. Once, at about 8 in the morning, he came in and danced to it as it played over the store’s radio system. It may have been the highlight of my 5 years of working at that particular store.
12. Fear The Boom and Bust – Econ Stories
This song is about the economic philosophies of John Maynard Keynes and F.A. Hayek. Before you run away screaming like a little girl, realize it’s catchy, entertaining, and teaches the basics of each economist about as well as possible. There’s also a part 2. It’s not as good, but both have found a home on my iPod.
13. Rich Girl – Gwen Stefani featuring Eve
Gwen Stefani is rich AND she looks like that? If you guys need me, I’ll be getting a restraining order against me.
14. The Big Money – Rush
After listening to this song, I don’t think Rush cares for big business. Which is kinda too bad. Good news though, there’s a BITCHIN’ guitar solo about half way through.
15. Material Girl – Hilary and Haylie Duff
Yeah, I know. Madonna did this song first. Hell, this isn’t even that good of a cover. So why did I pick it? You know why. The Duff sisters are attractive, and you know the other one is jealous of Hilary.
16. Price Tag – Jessie J. featuring B.o.B.
I’m not exactly sure who this B.o.B. guy is (and why he spells his name like a dumb third grader) but he’s in a full 94% of songs these days. He shows up in the middle of this one and raps. I thought Snoop Dogg was the only guy allowed to do that?
17. She Works Hard For The Money – Donna Summer
Geez, these are almost getting embarrassing at this point. Just think about that South Park episode where Cartman sings this song to win that contest to appear on the Cheesy Poofs commercial. That makes it slightly better, right?
18. Livin’ On A Prayer – Bon Jovi
TOMMY USED TO WORK ON THE DOCKS!
19. Taxman – The Beatles
Damn you Taylor Swift, for not having a song about money.
Anyhoo, that’s about it. I’m sure I forgot some. Feel free to include them in the comments. Bonus points if you feign a whole bunch of outrage.