Sunday Morning Dump: Guns Editions

Picture originally found in the dictionary, next to "douchebag."

Apparently there was a shooting last week or something. Like with all my problems, I’ll just avoid thinking about this until it goes away. Okay, right after this blurb.

After the tragedy, I spent some time reading some blogs and other stuff online about guns. Two sides quickly emerged – one side wants to ban guns, while the other thinks arming more people is the solution. Good guys can shoot the bad guys before they do too much damage, which is good.

Let’s talk a little about people who want to ban guns. Their argument is simple, less guns = less deaths, since guns are pretty effective at killing people. If we’re banning stuff in the interest of public safety, may I suggest a slightly different rationale?

In the United States in 2009, approximately 11,000 people died from being shot, and approximately 75,000 got injured.  (I’m excluding suicides, for obvious reasons) The statistics are a little older, but it’s estimated that almost 18,000 people were killed in accidents that were alcohol related in 2006 and some 275,000 were hurt. (2006 stats) This number has gone down considerably over the last couple decades, but only because cars have gotten safer. Also, driving under the influence is the most common crime police charge people with, a full 10% of crimes every year.

Alcohol is perhaps the single most destructive element in today’s society. It leads to violence, sexual assault, divorce, impaired decision making, and worst of all, white people thinking they can dance. If we were really serious about public safety we’d ban booze, not guns.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

This marks the 5th consecutive weekend I haven’t transferred my new music from my laptop to my ipod. It’s almost a record in laziness.

Sunday’s post always takes me the longest to write. Listening to the entire song probably doesn’t help this. Also, sometimes I interrupt writing to pleasure myself. TMI? MORE LIKE NOT ENOUGH I.

Simpsons Quote

Barney: So, I say, when we die there should be two planets- one for the French and one for the Chinese.

Gambling Is Fun

Nice work, stupid Toronto Raptors, ruining my 3-0 week with your win. You can’t even suck right.

I’m starting off by taking the Washington Redskins (THAT’S RAYCESS) minus 7.5 over the Eagles of Philadelphia. I’m also going with the Cowboys minus the field goal against the Saints, mostly because French people are terrible in every way. And finally, because there are literally no sports on this weekend, I’m taking the Jeonju KCC Egis plus the 5.5 points against the Wonju Dongbu Promy in Korean women’s basketball. What, you’ve never watched it?

Overall record: 76-90-5

A Post You Might Have Missed

I spent exactly 20 minutes in a hot tub on Friday night, and by the end I was ready to pass out. Plus, as I went in, there was a couple CLEARLY doing some hanky panky underneath the bubbles. I wasn’t offended, hot tub sexy time can be fun. But then THEY KEPT DOING IT WHEN I WAS SITTING THERE. She wasn’t even that attractive.

Have you ever watched a sporting event on TV and whined about how the millionaire athletes are overpaid? (CFL excluded, obviously) Sorry to burst your bubble, but they’re paid quite fairly. Go read and find out why.

Nelson’s So Funny

One of my tweets went viral this week, getting retweeted 99 times. I AM A TWITTER GOD.

Have you guys noticed that I’ve finally figured out how to embed tweets properly? It’s reason # 492904 I’m a Twitter God.

The More You Know

There should be a dirty Wikipedia, then I could look up dirty things and be all dirty all the time. And then afterwards, to get even more dirty, I’d go roll around in the mud or something. I am like a farm animal in so many ways.

All I Ever Wanted is the fourth studio album by American pop rock singer-songwriter Kelly Clarkson, released on March 6, 2009 in Australia andGermany and the United States on March 10. It was her second album to debut at number one on the Billboard 200. All I Ever Wanted has been certified Platinum in Australia and Canada and Gold in United Kingdom and Ireland. The original title of the album was to be Masquerade but Clarkson changed it because she felt that there were albums with similar themes on the charts at the time, such as Pink’s Funhouse and Britney Spears’Circus.[3] All I Ever Wanted has sold 944,000 copies in the United States.[4] The album was nominated for Best Pop Vocal Album at the 52nd Grammy Awards.[5]

That paragraph is the longest anyone has ever wrote about Kelly Clarkson and not made a fat joke.

Dirty Word In Words With Friends

I was gonna play ‘bra’, but then got greedy and took the extra points by playing ‘brains’. I’m hanging my head in shame.

If you play me we’ll be best friends forever. My user is ‘nelsmi’.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

Bridget from Money After Grad thinks that this category is misogynistic and objectifies women everywhere. Uh… duh? In honor of her, let’s objectify some other woman named Bridget.

This is Bridgit Mendler, who seems like some sort of European pop singer, at least according to the pictures of her I ogled. I just wrote a wildly offensive woman joke, but took it out for this lame sentence. You’re welcome, other Bridget. I’m not even sure which Bridget I’m talking to anymore.

Time For Links

I’m giving top spot this week to 101 Centavos, who makes fun of Delta Airlines for their boneheaded decision to buy a oil refinery. Hey, why stop at being really bad at being an airline when you can be a bad oil refiner too? There’s also a sexy ass pic, which is probably the real reason I gave that post the number one spot.

Next up is Makin Sense Babe, who, unsurprisingly, blogs about an idea that makes sense. She points out that it’s kind of a waste of time and money for adults to buy Christmas presents for each other. Which is kinda too bad, because I totally just mailed her some Santa Claus lingerie for when she decides to finally succumb to my awkward advances.

Control Your Cash is the only blog that can use the word “behold” and not make it sound incredibly douchey. Anyway, go check out their post where they talk about red and black balls, which I’m assuming was the result of a terrible cat in the lap accident.

Next up is Mochi and Macarons, who points out that a college degree doesn’t necessarily translate to skills. Yeah, a English Literature degree doesn’t teach you anything about working at Starbucks, yet that’s all it qualifies you for.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job points out that getting out of debt isn’t a psychology problem, it’s a math problem. Logic? In personal finance? My word, I’m going to have to sit down.

And finally, here’s a truck full of cows tipping over and crashing. Don’t worry, no cows were harmed in making that video. That happened 3 hours later, when they were turned into steaks.



I just killed this category. Like I’m ever going to submit to a carnival ever again.

Have a good week everyone.

Tell everyone, yo!

7 thoughts on “Sunday Morning Dump: Guns Editions

  • December 23, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Alcohol is deadlier than handguns and so are cars (despite the lower per capita ownership rate of the latter!)

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  • December 31, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    I don’t even know what to say about gun policy. We can’t simply ban them, then all the criminals will be left with guns. But everyone having guns isn’t exactly good either. guns are only good for one thing, killing.

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  • January 7, 2013 at 5:37 am

    assault rifles are utterly useless for non-military things. None. There are no uses.That’s surprising to me, since I keep one for home defense. It’s an excellent choice. Better than a pistol, better than a shotgun, light, maneuverable, light recoiling, high capacity, hard hitting, and with the right ammo it has less chance of over penetration.What expertise do you have with guns, anyway? Let me guess, you looked at some scary photos on the internet, and read some ignorant reporter’s third-hand mangling of the talking points of an anti-gun group. Have you practiced room-clearing with any weapon at all?

  • January 9, 2013 at 11:39 am

    “Don’t Quit Your Day Job points out that getting out of debt isn’t a psychology problem, it’s a math problem. Logic? In personal finance? My word, I’m going to have to sit down.”

    I’d say it is both, but yanno, what do I know?

    Also, I agree about the alcohol. In fact, I say we ban alcohol, but legalize marijuana. One in, one out policy, right? 😉


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