The beginning of 2012 was a different time. End of the world jokes were being made, but not at an alarming pace. Kim Kardashian’s vagina was making headlines for reasons other than what Kanye West did to it. Osama Bin Laden was watching old episodes of Jersey Shore in a ran down apartment somewhere in Pakistan. There was even NHL hockey being played, even though I probably didn’t watch it. Amidst all this, I asked some of the top personal finance blogs (and Control Your Cash) to enter my stock picking contest. How did those picks pan out? Let’s have a lookie.
Not to give things away, but BOW BEFORE US ALL FOR WE ARE STOCK PICKING GODS.
1. Sustainable PF +123.8%
Buoyed by BEST PICK IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND, Medical Marijuana Inc. (MJNA) Simon gave the other competitors an ass kicking not seen since the Kansas City Chiefs last played. It was up over 400%, going from 2 cents a share to just over 10. I’m sure he will celebrate by smoking a bunch of his profits and then going to Taco Bell.
2. Thousandaire +66.2%
Kevin had a terrific year from Sprint and Bank of America, as both of those picks more than doubled during 2012. Citigroup also went up 50%, leaving only Dallas area pizza chain Pizza Inn as Kevin’s only lagging pick. I’m not sure what he’s waiting for, he should head over there and eat himself some profits.
3. Control Your Cash +33.5%
Let’s take a look at Netflix, the pick responsible for CYC’s move back up the standings. Here’s its share price throughout the year.
Jan 1 – $69.29
Mar 30 – $115.04
Jun 30 – $68.48
Sept 30 – $54.44
Dec 31 – $92.59
That thing is more volatile than your girlfriend during her time of the month. HEYO!
4. Money Mamba +32.0%
JT boldly predicted he was going to win this contest, isn’t his youthful enthusiasm so cute? Even though he more than doubled the return of the S&P 500, that was only good enough for 4th place. Don’t cry JT. He had 4 solid picks, Adams Golf being bought out by Adidas was his big winner.
5. Young and Thrifty +22.4%
My internet girlfriend had 4 solid picks, which only strengthened my lust for her. Sure, she’s hot, but there’s also a mind to match? Slow down my heart, soon she will be ours.
6. Boomer and Echo +20.1%
Good thing Robb didn’t let his mom have any credit for their stock picks, or I might have to lust after her too. I am a sucker for a woman who knows how to pick stocks. Or even knows what a stock is. Or has boobs.
7. Mochi and Macarons +19.7%
MM (that may be a pseudonym, I’ll have to ask) had 4 solid picks, choosing to pick the shares of companies that she buys stuff from. It worked out pretty well, all in all. Also, for all the hype Apple gets, MM finished the highest out of anybody in the contest who picked it.
8. Don’t Quit Your Day Job +17.8%
I was really hoping these guys would finish last. Laughing at them would have brought me great pleasure. And then I could mockingly point and say “Don’t Quit Your Day Jobs, dumbasses!” because I am ALL OVER the obvious joke.
9. Financial Uproar +17.0891%
Thank God Research in Motion had a great quarter, or I’d have finished last. And then I would have been single and in last place in the contest. What woman would want me then?
10. My University Money +17.0890%
Yes, you read it right. I beat Teacher Man by one one-thousandth of a percentage point. SUCK ON IT.
11. Nelson’s Buddy Dale +17.0%
He did pretty well, considering he just pulled picks out of his ass. There you go kids, proof you will pull 4 stocks out of your ass and beat the S&P 500. Don’t even bother trying, because you can’t argue with that logic.
12. Canadian Personal Finance +10.7%
Steve’s picks were solid, albeit unspectacular. I’m not sure why he picked both Telus and BCE, but both stocks did okay for him. And hey, at least he isn’t last.
13. Holy Potato +10.4%
THIS IS FOR YOU, BUCKO.
Poor Potato. Poseidon Concepts was just chugging along in November, right around $13, and then they cut the dividend. It went from $13 to $5 in one day, and currently sits below $2. But still, don’t let your sympathy get in the way of your laughing. Point and laugh at him. You know you want to. Here, I’ll start.
Holy Potato? More like Holy he sucks at picking stocks.
I’ve just been informed that without RIM’s great Q4, that might have been me. I take it all back.
Stay tuned for tomorrow, when a new batch of stock picks will be revealed. Hey, it beats going back to work.