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Feb 172013

This dump has little to do with chips. I just want you to eat more, for selfish reasons. Here is a bag of Doritos to motivate you.

Yeah, it's shameless. But I have sales goals to meet, dammit.

Yeah, it’s shameless. But I have sales goals to meet, dammit.

Winter in Canada is a miserable time of year, leaving you hoping for sweet, sweet, death at around January 15th. It’s February now, which means we’re on the home stretch towards spring, which should happen sometime in June. OH BOY! There’s another reason why February isn’t as bad as January, and that’s women’s curling.

Do you know how guys in the U.S. watch beach volleyball and tennis to ogle the ladies? Women’s curling is Canada’s version of that. They yell “hard” a lot, they wear tight yoga pants, and every time they smile at the camera they’re smiling at me, dammit. It’s pretty much the best thing ever.

I watched a movie on Netflix last night called Craigslist Joe, about some guy named Joe (duh) who relied solely on the generosity of people on Craigslist to live. Which was all fine and good, except it became pretty clear about 15 minutes in that he was getting preferential treatment because HE HAD A DUDE WITH A CAMERA FOLLOWING HIM AROUND. People took the opportunity to use his movie to get their message out. I’d like to see someone replicate the experience but without a camera dude. This person will die in 5 days.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

Allow me to present Styx, who might be the cheesiest group of an era that might be cheesier than a Quebec poutine.

It’s “Show Me The Way,” a ballad that was popular leading up to the first Gulf War. See, I told you I had a sensitive side.

Simpsons Quote

Abe: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Gambling Is Fun

Last week I went 1-1-1, which is about as exciting as plain oatmeal. I’m still going to stick with my pick the opposite of what I think will actually happen strategy, because gambling is kinda dumb, so a dumb picking strategy should be par for the course.

I’m going to start things off by taking the Western NBA all-stars, minus the 3 points, even though betting on all-star games is the worst thing ever. I’m also taking the LA Kings to beat Chicago straight up, even though Chicago is awesome and they’re at home. And finally, I’m taking Ohio State to cover the 4 point spread against Wisconsin.

Overall record: Hold on, I’ll actually figure this out… 87-99-6

Nelson’s So Funny

My Twitter feed is the funniest thing in the history of the internet. Apparently the ladies like the funny guys. Why do I not have weekly packages containing women’s underwear?

A Post You Might Have Missed

Even though nobody likes a tease, allow me to tease you all by saying I think I have some pretty interesting stuff coming up next week. So sit back, hire someone to read them to you, and masturbate. (That was a hint, kind of.)

I went to Dairy Queen to get a Blizzard. I was not satisfied. What can that teach you about personal finance? Click through to find out. It unfortunately has very little to do with monkeys.

The More You Know

Why doesn’t Wikipedia throw some ads on it and just be done with this whole raising money thing?

The Hart-Cluett Mansion is located at 57 Second Street in Troy, New York, United States. It was listed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1973, and is a contributing property to the Central Troy Historic District created in 1986. Since the 1950s it, and the Carr Building next door, has been the main office of the Rensselaer County Historical Society, The house is open to the public as ahistoric house museum.

Built in 1827 from a plan by most likely by architect Martin Euclid Thompson, of New York City,[3] it is a Federal style townhouse withdecorated marble and limestone facing considered one of the best and most intact houses in that style in the city of Troy. The house was built by John Bard Colgrove, who moved to Troy, NY in 1826 to oversee the construction of the Hart House. Immediately after constructing the Hart House, Colgrove built the first Rensselaer County Court House (1828–31).[3] It was constructed as a gift for his only child, Betsey Howard Hart, and her husband, Richard P. Hart, by wealthy New York City merchant and banker William Howard, done in a style similar to contemporary mansions there. Those homes have since been demolished, making Troy the only extant place visitors can experience an early 19th-century New York City mansion.

They showed a picture. I’d hardly call it a mansion.

Dirty Word In Words With Friends

Let’s go with bush, played by real life friend Shirlee. And then let’s go with a carpet matching the drapes joke.

Play me or… continue on your life as if nothing happened. My user is ‘nelsmi.’

Babe Loosely Related To Finance


The 2013 Scotties Tournament of Hearts, February 16-24, KingstonThe 2013 Scotties Tournament of Hearts, February 16-24, Kingston Onatrio

From left to right we have Rachel Homan, Emma Miskew, Alison Kreviazuk, and Lisa Weagle. Or, as I’ve dubbed them: baby, baby, baby and baby.

Time For Links

Let’s start things off with Janine from My Pennies My Thoughts, who got featured on the CTV News the other night, talking about RRSPs. That’s a pretty big deal, right? I was also asked to appear in that piece, but I “forgot” my pants.

Next up is Boomer and Echo, who have to be the best mom and son team since, well, uh, Bieber and his mom? Sure, let’s go with that. Anyhoo, they point out that an all GIC portfolio would have actually performed pretty well.

Mochi and Macarons highlights a documentary that interviews the children of ultra-rich people. It seems pretty interesting but, like all movies, it probably needs more boobs.

The gents from Don’t Quit Your Day Job poke some holes in the investment advice given by Dave Ramsey. You know they’re going to hell for that.

Speaking of Don’t Quit Your Day Job, a special hat tip to PK again for the link to a comprehensive study on porn stars. It’s interesting stuff, and you’ll all be proud to know I was only a little aroused when I read it.

Former Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young took out a $300,000 loan to pay for his own birthday party. And since Young was such a credit risk, the interest rate was 20%. That’s Vince Young, who made close to $30 million in his NFL career. Can somebody send Vince the link to this blog? I think he needs it.

Len Penzo was a little early for President’s Day, when he listed 18 personal finance facts about U.S. Presidents. Alas, there was no mention of Thomas Jefferson and his love of poon.

And finally, 101 Centavos gives us all an update on his redneck dividends. WHOO! If you need him, he’ll be losing his teeth and trying to seduce his cousin. Or maybe collecting dividends from companies that sell stuff to people who do that. Yeah, that’s much better.

Have a good week everyone. 

Tell everyone, yo!

  7 Responses to “Sunday Morning Dump: Craigslist, Curling, and Chips”

  1. I appreciate the hat-tip but I think it belongs to Jon Millward for showing you the way to look at porn at work and get paid for it, not fired. One small step for man…

  2. The documentary was about a 7/10 in terms of quality, because it needed MORE to it. More formal interviews, better editing, more talking from more than just one kid in general.

    But I can understand the subject being touchy and hard to get a handle on.

    Thanks for the link back!

  3. I can’t believe my JUGS didn’t make your dirty word section.
    And I turned your CREW into SCREW Right before that.

  4. Is your interesting news that you’re going backpacking in Europe? Because I must say that it is an excellent way to beat that Canadian winter you hate so much. 12 degrees and sunshine today, my dear. Sweater weather!

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