Mar 042013
 

Usually I’m a big fat tease, making all of you wait until the end of the post to give away the free crap. However, it’s come to my attention that nobody likes a tease, so here we are. The winners of the H&R Block tax software are Kasandra and Paul. Congratulations you two, I’m sure this is more exciting than seeing Taylor Swift’s newly enhanced chest. AND WHAT A CHEST, AMIRITE? I’ll email you guys at some point.

One more piece of housekeeping before we get to the random crap. Finance Fox has released a response to Wednesday’s post. If you’re curious, go to his site and check it out. I have no further comments. Hey, that was all serious and stuff. I better throw some jokes in there. Uh, boogers.

Phew. That’s better.

At this time next week, I’ll be making my now annual excursion to the shining lights and plentiful hookers of Las Vegas. Ah, Las Vegas. I plan to go to the cheapest blackjack table I can find and play like a moron, because it amuses me when serious blackjack players get all pissy about it. Then I will go hang out outside the male stripper show, and hit on horny half-drunk chicks as they come out. THESE PLANS ARE FOOLPROOF. I will either get stabbed or the clap. Either way, sounds like a good vacation.

Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too

Hey, remember when people listened to the AM radio? Everclear did, back in like 1997.

13 year old Nelson really liked that song. He liked masturbation a whole lot more though.

Simpsons Quote

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Gambling Is Fun

Next week in Vegas, I pledge to bet actual American currency on my picks. Considering my overall record, this is the worst idea I’ve ever had.

I’m taking the over (5 goals) in the Toronto Maple Leafs/New Jersey Devils game, because the Devil made me pick that game. I’m also going with Pittsburgh over Tampa Bay, as well as Nashville covering the spread (+1.5 goals) over LA. As an aside, Sunday night is a terrible time to pick games, since a lot of Monday’s lines haven’t been released yet. I will use this as an excuse for when I go 1-2.

Overall record: 89-103-6

A Post You Might Have Missed

You might have noticed, after 4 years of blogging, I finally installed a plugin that lists some similar stuff after each post. If you need me, I’ll be launching a site about blogging. I’ll call it NelsonGivesBloggingTipsBitches.com. I better buy this URL as quickly as possible, before one of you rat bastards snatch it out from under me.

It seems like all the kids are doing their taxes, and getting excited about the refund they’ll be getting. I will not be getting a refund, because I is sad. Anyhoo, go read a post on taxes, and why you shouldn’t really care about paying them.

Nelson’s So Funny

In the interest of full disclosure, I totally ripped off this category from Timeless Finance. He totally ripped it off someone else, and so on. By this point, it’s more borrowed than a cup of sugar from the neighbours. Has anybody ever gone next door to ever borrow a cup of sugar? I’d tell my neighbours to hit the road.

After sending that tweet, I went to A&W to eat some poutine. It was not undelicious.

The More You Know

Sometimes, when we’re alone, I like to whisper sweet nothings into Wikipedia’s ear. You know, tell it how special it is, and that’s I’ll only love it, you know, that mushy crap the ladies eat up. And then, when it falls asleep, I stick my penis between the pages of the M edition of Encyclopedia Britannica.

First Aid Kit is a Swedish folk duo composed of sisters Johanna (b. October 31, 1990) and Klara (b. January 8, 1993) Söderberg, whose close vocal harmonies and woodsy, folk-influenced songwriting take influence from the likes of Fleet Foxes and Joanna Newsom. Hailing from Enskede, a southern suburb of Stockholm, the siblings began composing songs in 2007. Their 2008 YouTube video cover of the song “Tiger Mountain Peasant Song” by Fleet Foxes spread their name rapidly on the Internet[1]: the sisters subsequently appeared alongside Fleet Foxes performing the song in a concert in the Netherlands.

I’m listening to their song “Emmy-Lou” right now. It’s not terrible. It’s Swedish country music.

Dirty Word In Words With Friends

She made a big deal about it, so I have to mention that Sheryl played ‘boner.’ And then afterwards I got a boner, for unrelated reasons.

My user is ‘nelsmi’ if you want to partake. If I ever get lost, please put “answers to nelsmi” on my missing poster.

Babe Loosely Related To Finance

I did a search for ‘female model’ in Flickr. Here’s one of about 1.5 billion results.

jennyjenn1

Here’s how it would go down if I talked to her:

Nelson: Uh, hey.

Her: Go away.

Nelson: Okay.

Time For Links

Let’s start things off with the kids from Don’t Quit Your Day Job, and their companion piece on the plagiarism issue. It’s calm and well thought out, and it’s worth a read if you haven’t done so already.

Next up is Control Your Cash, who yes, I will be meeting when I go to Las Vegas next week. I will give them friendship bracelets made out of my discarded hair, which won’t be the least bit creepy. In the meantime, go check out February’s retard of the month. 

The guys from My University Money wrote a book dedicated to the finances of college students, which doesn’t look terrible. If they really wanted to sell a lot of copies, they’d hook up with the beer company to include one in every flat. Boom. That’s two posts in a row where I prove my marketing skillz.

Timeless Finance has some tips on how to move on the cheap. It’s a good thing he didn’t call me. It saved the awkwardness of me making some B.S. excuse, and him knowing that excuse was B.S., and so on.

I wrote a post over at Yes, I Am Cheap, on the 7 best jobs. No, bikini inspector did not make the list, mostly because that job is imaginary.

And finally, ah screw it. I’m tired.

Have a good week everyone.

 

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  5 Responses to “Monday Morning Dump: Announcements and Whatnot”

  1. At some point, Taylor Swift has to come calling. I can sense it.

  2. lol I am severely disappointed you didn’t hop on a plane from AB to help me move.

    As for PK’s piece, like I expressed there I thought it was great, except I thought the conclusions were weak (which I expressed there). Such horrible actions demand a strong response. Eddie’s apology was, of course, not an apology — he only admitted to “overlapping” with other writers, accused REAL writers who took it seriously of behaving “like a pack of hyenas” instead of being entirely reasonable, and called you a cyberbully then proceeded to *actually* cyberbully you (i.e. you pointed out his grievous, horrible actions, then instead of responding he turned to personally insulting you and further victimizing his victims). While I appreciate PK retracting his statements about Eddie’s “removal of the offending content” I still think the statement he added is incredibly weak, when compared to the fact that there is tons of stolen stuff Eddie failed to remove (because his website, when you look into it, is based on stolen content).

    If I didn’t know that a bunch of further, severe action is being taken by far more important / smarter / bigger people than me, I’d be outraged by his disgusting non-apology.

    • I hear you, and I agree I look really soft on crime now – but in my defense there wasn’t the ridiculous excuse for an apology (and excuse) when I wrote my piece. I don’t want to go back and revise history now that we’ve seen it though; it feels like cheating if I edit my piece to make it seem like I saw all of the strange twists coming, haha.

      One thing – who is ‘more important’, ‘smarter’, and ‘bigger’? This is the internet – everyone is a 7′ tall C-level employee has 22″ biceps and an 160 IQ. We are our own reality. On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog!

  3. Wow… I agree totally with TF. I read it this afternoon. Couldn’t find the comments section. What a load of saving face BS. Nelson is a cyber bully. OMG. If one is plagerizing and receiving income from the site you can’t complain about being called out for it.
    Obviously he disagrees with your off beat interesting approach to PF blogging. I have been on that blog a grand total of twice. I almost fell asleep reading that lame ass excuse for what was going on there. Ghost writer indeed. No substance there.

  4. We’ve actually looked into getting a beer company and a financial institution to co-sponsor copies for incoming students in the fall of 2013. How great would it be to say we created a project that hooked the next generation of alcoholics, but made sure they’d have enough money to be functional at the same time? Great PR.

    I’m not sure what your comment of “doesn’t look terrible” means though. That sounds a lot like bullying to me. Just wait until I sick our PTA on you…

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