Not sure what's better, the wood panelling or the air mattress with no conceivable use.

Not sure what’s better, the wood panelling or the air mattress apparently reserved for the cat.

…Because every blogger needs to write a post from his parents’ basement. Even though that joke died a horrible death back in 2008.

Yes kids, it’s true. I’m sitting on the couch where I probably masturbated for the first time, in my parents’ basement. Everything is exactly the same as I remember it, from the wood panelling on the walls, to the entertainment unit my Dad built some 25 years ago, to the impressive collection of records that haven’t seen the light of day since 1995. If they hold onto them for long enough, some might be worth as much as $2.50. One day.

Why am I here? And why do you care? It all started approximately 2 months ago.

Ah, June of 2013. It was a different time; it was a simpler time. The Toronto Blue Jays were mostly out of the playoff picture. The rabbits in my backyard didn’t have babies yet. The NFL season was seemingly months away, much to the chagrin of those of us who play fantasy football.

And I decided to put my house up for sale.

(Spits out water) WHATTTTTT?!?!?!?!

Even though I’ve repeatedly sang the praises of my small town in the archives of this blog, about six months ago I started feeling restless. My life seemed like Groundhog Day, repeating the same crap over and over again. I grew tired of the same friends and the same stuff. I felt so incredibly smothered. It became obvious it was time for a change.

I had two choices. I could either sell my house or keep it and rent it out. After careful deliberation (read: making a rash decision while tired), I phoned up a Realtor and got the process going.

My thought process was three-fold. Firstly, I’m kind of on record thinking there’s a giant real estate bubble in this country. I wanted to get out now, while I could still make a little bit of money. And secondly, I wanted to do all I could to cut ties to this place. It’s really easy to move back when you’ve got a perfectly good house just waiting for you. The embrace of the comfortable is something I’m still battling.

And finally, I looked at my house as a standalone investment. I ran the numbers, got about a 6% gross return, and quickly abondoned any plans to keep the place. 6% before major expenses isn’t an investment I’d make, so I made the decision to sell. Remember that, everybody who doesn’t sell their old house because they want to dabble in the world of being a landlord.

After a few weeks, something happened. I got an offer.

It was a good offer, and we quickly came to an agreement. Conditions were met and waived fairly quickly, and all of a sudden I had to be out of my house. It’s amazing how much crap we all have, and I packed it all. I took many loads of junk to the landfill. I tried to give away more stuff too, but people are surprisingly picky when it comes to free things. I had to officially be out on Friday, so I did what every other person of my generation has done. I moved back into my parents’ basement.

The world was my oyster. Where would I end up? Europe seems like a nice place. Asia seems kinda weird, but interesting. The weather is nice in Australia, even though they have bugs that are TERRIFYING. America seems nice, except every whack job has a gun and catching the sniffles will set you back a billion dollars.

But really, like I’m going to deal with immigration. Would you let me into your country? I chose Calgary, the closest big city. There’s no need to make the adventure too exciting, right? Calgary appealed to me for a number of reasons. I’m familiar with it. It would be easy for me to find a job. Yes, I’m moving without a job lined up. Chances are I’ll be able to continue where I am, but that’s not guaranteed. I know a few people in the city, yet it still allows me to be anonymous, which is a big motivation for me at this point. And finally, there is somebody there who I quite enjoy spending time with. I move in a couple of weeks, into my brand new rented apartment.

Now that I’m less busy, look for a more consistent schedule on the blog again. The Sunday Link Dumps will be back, and you’ll be back to not laughing at my jokes in no time. And don’t worry, you won’t be subject to more updates on my boring ass life. We’ll be back to actual finance content soon. Thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading.

Tell everyone, yo!