Another Thursday, another post from Vanessa.
I don’t like to share. This, in fact, is not a new trait — my elementary and pre-school report cards still make me giggle with embarrassment that I would get high marks in everything except things like play time. I waited MONTHS to get a chance at the wooden bead play station and I wasn’t going to move just because Becky wanted a turn!
Likewise, I don’t understand why I have to share money that I’ve accumulated just because someone else wants some. Setting aside charities and such, there are two main money seekers in everyone’s life — parents and children.
I don’t come from a family that lends money to one another but rather, a family which tells their teenage kid that she has a job now and can buy her own shampoo or clothes and starts asking for rent money. While I’m unsure that this was the “right” way to raise a kid, I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have moved out of my parents’ house as young as I did, nor would I have become the independent person that I am today.
And now we get to my bone of contention with the world — why do most people, when they hear about how I grew up, give me a pitying look and say something along the lines of “don’t worry, you’ll do better with your kids”? Why is spending your money on yourself something that we look down on? Sure, I’d be a lot richer had I not had to pay for my own braces or education and was able to live at home for free, but can I really get upset with my parents for not partially bankrolling my young adulthood? I think that children who demand money or cash-in-kind from their parents are the real selfish ones — not the parents who deny financial support.
Continuing along, I fully intend to not help my future children out financially after they graduate high school. I’m going to use the extra bedrooms in my future house for a library and a baseball room and take the money I save from feeding extra people to fund a trip to the Middle East. It should be cooled down by then, right?
Oh wait. My parents. Surely after supporting me for 16 years I ought to do the same for them, right? I mean, it’s only fair considering that they were supported for 16 years by their parents and then… Oh… Yeah… That kind of cancels out right? You care for your children for the first bit of their life, they care for their children and so forth. What’s this double-ended system of them caring for you and you turning around and caring for them? I don’t like my family enough to move in with them again and the idea of paying for a nursing home that will literally cost more than I pay for my living expenses makes me sick.
As selfish as it may seem, I think that I’m only being pragmatic. My money is my money. People who demand that another person take care of their financial well-being are the actual selfish ones.