Last week, I interviewed Donald Trump, and the week before I interviewed Kevin O’Leary. In the finale of the interview series, I sat down with Generic Debt Blogger, who has a (mostly) neglected Twitter account, and once did a guest post here at Financial Uproar.
Nelson: Generic Debt Blogger, thanks for joining us on the interview series. Do you have an actual name, or should I call you GDB?
GDB: My name is Madison. Or Piper. Or Lena. Think of the most derivative name you remember from college, and I have it. You know, that stupid overachiever who thought that college had to be AMAZING, even though regular people think it’s just a pit stop to get to where you want to be? Well, I have a secret. That girl was me, and I started a blog. We’re very interchangeable.
N: Well. That was very…self-aware. Maybe I’ll just call you GDB.
GDB: No, silly! Tee-hee! Call me by my very clever pen name, Centsible Sense. I am literally the first person to make that joke. We like to have fun over at my blog.
N: Okay, Centsible. How’s your quest to pay down those student loans going? Because lord knows, you have debt. You always do.
GDB: It’s hard paying down debt! Instead of spending $500 per month on clothes, I’ve had to cut it back to $300. A girl can barely clothe herself for $300! And then I had to cut back my wine consumption! And Starbucks! And manis and pedis! And dates! And 4 GB of data per month on my new phone! I still spend on those, but still. I had to slightly cut back. I’m all about balance.
N: What else are you doing to pay down your debt faster? Maybe you have some tips for my readers.
GDB: Two words Nelson…SHOPPING BAN. OH MY GOD, have you even done a shopping ban? It’s so INSPIRING!! My life was just filled with disposable garbage before. Now I’m spending so intelligently! I’ve cut $5,000 per year from my spending! And it felt great! I’m so blessed to have discovered shopping bans!
N: So, I’m confused. You still buy things like Starbucks, meals out, and other stuff that could be easily cut, yet still call it a shopping ban? How do you decide whether something is included in the ban or not?
GDB: (pained look) Oh look girls, we have a non-believer here! Tee-hee! Nelson, it’s really simple. You decide beforehand what’s included and what isn’t, and then change the rules once it gets hard! I’m allowed to buy all necessities, 3 meals out per week, Starbucks, the *occasional* mani and pedi (once every two weeks, because only hobos have rough cuticles), and $5,000 per year worth of travel.
N: Wait. You just said you saved $5,000 in spending, but then you spent it on travel. So what exactly have you accomplished?
GDB: God, you’re just a hater. Why do you have to look at everything negatively?
N: I prefer to call it the truth.
GDB: The truth is you’re a meanie.
N: So what are your plans now? Are you going back to school?
GDB: How’d you know?!?!
N: Lucky guess. What are you going to study?
GDB: I’m getting my masters! In psychology! No, wait. It’s women’s studies! Or maybe it’s in social work! I definitely think more education will make me more employable in the future. Way more more than real world job experience. No boss looks for that, and I would know. I’ve held down a full-time job for months now.
N: That seems to be a pretty common refrain from new grads. Why wouldn’t you be a little more patient and wait a while longer? It seems like you’re rushing life a bit.
GDB: Nelson, I can’t stay. Did you know the boss asked me to make coffee once? Can you imagine? The patriarchy is conspiring to keep me down, and it’s not going to change unless me and my sisters stand up for ourselves!
N: I’m not even going to justify that with a response. So, how much do you have in your emergency fund?
N: And how much do you owe in student loans?
GDB: $52,583.94. Not that I’m counting or anything! Tee-hee! 😉
N: Why wouldn’t you put that money towards your debt?
GDB: You NEED an emergency fund, silly.
N: No, actually you don’t, especially if you have a job that’s pretty secure. And even if you do happen to get laid off, you could use credit temporarily. Or you could at least invest your emergency fund.
GDB: It IS invested, thank you very much! Tangerine and 1.1% FOR THE WIN. I’m pretty good at investing. It’s *almost* as much as the 4.25% that my loans are charging.
N: I don’t think that’s actual investing.
GDB: I have an investing e-course. Want to hear about it?
N: You seem woefully unqualified to have an investing e-course.
GDB: I’ve made money over the last TWO years.
N: Don’t you think that money would be better put to use paying down your debt?
GDB: No. You know what? You don’t get to judge how I live my life. PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL.
N: That was very necessary.
GDB: It’s okay. I’m getting married next summer, and together my fiancé and I will tackle that debt! But first, nine months of wedding talk! Want to hear about my budget? It’s ONLY $26,000, which means I’ll have to make a lot of sacrifices on things like the rings, my dress, how many guests we invite, the catering budget-
N: Sorry, we’re out of time.