Because hey, everyone deserves to take a day (sort of) off every once in a while. Yes, even me. HEY STOP SIGHING SO LOUD I CAN TOTALLY HEAR YOU AND THAT’S RUDE.

So here’s the deal. I usually spout off all sorts of WIZDOM and you kids read it, probably with your mouths agape in captivation. I’m imagining it something like this.

Milhouse, Martin, and Bart are my wife, mom, and dad, respectively. You're Nelson. Trippy, ain't it?

Milhouse, Martin, and Bart are my wife, mom, and dad, respectively. You’re Nelson. Yes, you. Not me. You. Trippy, ain’t it?

So instead of the usual I type you read dealie, let’s do something a little different. You ask me questions about anything in the comments, and I’ll answer them. I’ll hang out here all day, vigorously hitting the refresh button over and over, kinda like that time I bought Taylor Swift tickets as a grown ass man. By the way, that was still a terrific concert, even if I was surrounded by so many 12-year old girls I felt like R. Kelly by default.

You can ask such questions as:

  • How do you sleep at night? (nude, in a special oxygen chamber designed to keep me alive juuuuuust one day longer)
  • What’s your favorite sport? (cricket but with tigers who eat each other. Actually… just tigers fighting to the death)
  • How do you invest? (badly)
  • How are the Blue Jays going to do this year? (the opposite of badly)
  • Who are your favorite investors? (Benj Gallander, Prem Watsa, Francis Chou, Walter Schloss. I’d say Buffett, but everyone says Buffett and I like to keep you guys on your toes)
  • Why do you smell like cabbage? (You can smell that through your monitor? Maybe it’s you that smells of cabbage)
  • Why am I even here? (I dunno, but click some damn ads before you leave. Daddy has to get paid, yo)

And so on. I don’t want to take all the good questions. I’ll leave some up to you kids. Make them serious, funny, whatever. Anything you want to know, ask away.

Tell everyone, yo!