I went to put my shoes on this morning, and I discovered the worst thing imaginable. Dog poop.

At least, I’m assuming it was dog poop. It was definitely poop. The origin of said poop is still up for debate. Who knows. It could even be human poop.

The first feeling is disgust, because there’s nothing worse than unexpected poop. “I like surprises” says anyone who has experienced a life free of unexpected poop. The rest of us know better.

The next is shame. How could I be so dumb as to step in dog crap? I mean sure, people should clean up after their pets. Only a dick doesn’t. But at the same time, I need to do a better job walking. I can’t control the disposal habits of my fellow man. I can control where I put my feet. And apparently I put my foot in the wrong spot.

Finally comes the half-hearted attempt to clean said shoe. Normally I’d just hose it off, but I shut off the water to the outside of the house at least a month ago. So I was stuck smearing it on the grass, in the hopes that it would suddenly spring to life and somehow magically wipe off the bottom. This did not work.

The next step was finding a twig and using it as a DIY poop extractor. It worked pretty well, but there’s only so much a twig can do. I was still left with a sizable amount that had made its way into the cracks.

So I did what I should have done in the first place. I torched the shoes. They’re in a better place now.

Links I liked

1. Let’s start things off with The Financial Canadian, who has taken his considerable talents to the world of Seeking Alpha. He points out why y’all should be investing in Telus. I agree with him, especially when Telus was $5 per share cheaper, like it was back in January.

2. Over at Don’t Quit Your Day Job, PK asks an important question for anyone looking to retire in the next…ever. Just how exactly can you predict inflation? Well, as you’d imagine, it’s an imperfect science, But he’s got an idea of how you guess it.

3. Friend of the blog Steveonomics gave some advice to high school seniors about to head out into the real world. I’ve also been known to write a similar blog post each year; here’s the most recent one.

4. The guys at Young and Thrifty are masters of working the phones to save money on all sorts of different things. Here’s how they got 50% off a magazine subscription.

5. Oddball Stocks continues to be one of my favorite investing blogs. He weighs in on how to tell if someone has money, how to tell a company’s average salary, and more.

6. Des at Half Banked wears the same thing to the office every day. I used to think this whole craze of wearing the same thing every day was kinda silly, but then I realized I I’ve been subconsciously doing the same thing for years. Every day is the same–dress shirt (purchased at Value Village) and jeans. It’s gotten to the point where I have a Monday shirt, a Tuesday shirt, etc.

I assure you I am much less fun at parties than I sound.

7. Liquid Independence thinks there’s no such thing as good debt or bad debt. It doesn’t matter what has been financed, it somebody is stressed out about their debt, then it’s pretty easy to classify the debt as bad debt. It’s an interesting thought process.

8. Boomer and Echo points out RRSPs are still pretty valuable, even in the age of TFSAs. The article is great; the comment from Stephen Weyman might be even better.

9. About a year ago, I pointed out some pretty easy logic. You’ll end up richer if you don’t have kids. Tawcan agrees with me in theory, yet he points out some of the ways having kids has actually saved him money over the years. 

10. And finally, here’s a profile of the guy who manages Nevada’s $35 billion public employees’ pension plan. It’s all invested passively. What does he do with his day? Pretty much exactly what you’d expect.

Stuff Nelson wrote

As a reminder, you can hire me to write for your blog, newspaper, or poorly-Xeroxed newsletter. Hit the ol’ contact me page to get the ball rolling. 

1. Over at Lowest Rates, I wrote about how to avoid getting egged on Halloween. Step 1: don’t give apples. You’re just begging to get them thrown back at your door.

2. I wrote about how to save cash on groceries at Sustainable Personal Finance.

3. And over at Motley Fool, I spent some time with an early retiree who gave me some basic, but pretty invaluable money lessons.

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