Let’s talk a little bit about favorite meals.
We can all agree breakfast is garbage, right? There’s nothing wrong with bacon, and I’m not going to say no to a good pancake or waffle. But other than that, breakfast is the worst. Eggs? Terrible food. They’re flavorless and only tolerable with large amounts of bacon and/or cheese mixed in. Breakfast sausages are the saddest meat in the history of the world. I’d rather eat unknown lunch meat off your floor for a year than a single breakfast sausage. I’ve never eaten one of those and not regretted it.
Half the time when I eat breakfast I’m not even hungry. My stomach is still asleep. I eat it and then about two hours later my stomach finally figures what the hell is going on, and starts to get angry. FILL ME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER.
Dinner is clearly the best meal; nobody denies this. But lunch is incredibly underrated. You can have anything you want for lunch, including terrible breakfast foods. You can’t eat them for dinner. Same with sandwiches. Sometimes I just want a sandwich for dinner. Does that happen? Never.
Whenever I go to Vegas I like to eat a giant buffet at about 1 or 1:30, when the lunch crowds die down. It’ll last me for the rest of the day. That’s good strategic eating right there.
Hot dogs are also an underrated lunch food. You all scoff at hot dogs, but my God. A good hot dog is heaven in your mouth. A Costco hot dog is worth every penny of the $1.50 they charge. Magnificent. Even 7-11 hot dogs are great, especially after you abuse the free chili and cheese privileges like I do. I’ve been kicked out of 74 different 7-11s for doing exactly this. There’s a picture of me in every manager’s office. DO NOT LET THIS MAN NEAR THE CHILI.
Links I liked
1. I’m going to start things off with an article from the Wall Street Journal about how a Goldman Sachs bond trader made $100 million trading junk bonds, an amount usually unheard of today. And then he set fire to a church and punched a kitten, because Goldman Sachs.
2. Jessica Moorhouse outlines how she and her husband split their expenses now that she makes more money than he does.
3. Dan at my Big Fat Wallet looked at the return on investment if he installed solar panels on his house. What Dan neglected to analyze was that he lives in Calgary, and therefore such a purchase would get him kicked out of the city. Gotta support that oil and gas, yo.
4. Alpha Vulture is highlighting another attractive merger arbitrage situation. This one could make you 17.3% in just a couple of months.
5. At Boomer and Echo, Robb points out that, no, the federal government isn’t killing the housing market. They’re just making sensible moves to ensure when the bubble does pop, we won’t all get completely screwed. Bureaucrats: so nice!
6. Nomad Capitalist points out some areas you should be checking out if you want to get into the Airbnb hosting business. Bonus: only 37% of your tenants will be crazy!
7. Lending Loop, the peer-to-peer lending platform for Canadians, is back after getting regulatory approval. Look for a more detailed review of the service at some point in the next 40 years on the ol’ FU machine. What? I like to keep my options open.
8. Divestor took a closer look at DH Corp, which was down approximately 40% this week. It yields more than 7%, a payout he does not think is safe.
10. And finally, from Vox, here’s an article from someone who went deep inside one of those IRS tax fraud schemes.
Stuff Nelson wrote
As a reminder, you can hire me to write for your blog, newspaper, or poorly-Xeroxed newsletter. Hit the ol’ contact me page to get the ball rolling.
1. Mostly as a thought exercise, I wrote about why you might want to short Telus over at Motley Fool. Now to make it clear, I’m not arguing anyone should short Telus. My wife owns shares, something I’m comfortable with. Just thought it might be fun. Please don’t sue me.
2. I wrote about some cool car safety features over at the Lowest Rates blog.
Tweet of the week
Spell check on my internet browser is no longer working. Please contribute to my Kickstarter.
— Nelson! (@financialuproar) October 27, 2016
Have a good week, everyone.