Welcome Financial Uproar readers!

It’s that magical time of year again. No, I’m not talking about Christmas. You’re not even allowed to say that anymore. Thanks a lot, Obama. That’s what you get for putting a Muslim in charge.

I’m talking about that wonderful time of year where your favorite blogs don’t actually produce any content. As the writer of said words, I am a fan of doing as little as possible in the name of the season.

I am not a fan of Christmas carols. It’s just the same eight songs done in slightly different ways over and over again. Barf.

Anyhoo, that’s probably an acceptable amount of preamble. Here’s are the top ten Financial Uproar best posts of 2016. In order of how much they loved me back. Yes, my writing can do that. It’s that magical.

Two honorable mentions

OH STOP PRETENDING ITS AN HONOR YOU SUCK HONORABLE MENTIONS. MORE LIKE FIRST LOOOOOOOOOSERS AMIRITE?

Y’all Need to Relax About Zero Down Mortgages. — A number of mortgage brokers are still offering “no money down” mortgages, which directly violates rules put out by the mortgage insurers. GASP! OMG! THOSE CROOKS! I’M GOING TO MURDER THEIR CHILDREN WITH AXES.

I’m not really exaggerating. The reactions were that angry.

Anyhoo, I crunched the numbers. And it turns out the problem was more like a “problem.” Not a big deal.

The One Thing That Will Make You Better at Money, Investing, and Life — I referenced this post a lot over the past year, mostly because I think the lessons within it are very important. In short, if something seems to good to be true, it probably is.

The actual list

10. How to Get Paid $350,000 Per Year for Two Part-Time Jobs — I really enjoyed writing this post, but the stats say y’all didn’t really read it. You should. It outlines how wealthy folk can use their influence to effectively control small companies, giving themselves some sweet benefits at the expense of shareholders.

9. Get Great Returns Investing in Trailer Parks — YES NELLY’S GONNA BE A SLUMLORD.

Trailer parks are a good business. They can be hands-off investments. Municipalities hate them, which means you’re not about to see a giant wave of supply hit the market. And most importantly, they offer succulent returns. After just a few minutes of searching I found a park that offered a 15% return on investment. Yes. Please.

8. Instead of Retiring in Your 30s, Try This — Ah, the ol’ FIRE movement, which I now declare stands for Fuck It, Retire Early. I’m a big fan of the whole financial independence part. Not so much of the retire early part though. So I suggested an alternative. Rather than retiring for decades, try it for a year or two first.

7. The Canadian Guide to Whether You Should Incorporate — This post is required reading for any freelancers or other independent contractor type sorts. How much money can you save if you turn yourself into a corporation? Turns out it’s kinda complicated. Who woulda thunk it?

6. Scam Your Co-Workers and Make $100 Per Week — Fun fact: the day this post came out I was accused on Twitter of not writing interesting things. Because hey, what’s more generic than coming up with a lottery scam? If y’all need me I’ll be writing some truly interesting stuff like five ways to get out of debt. Did you know that spending less money is one way to get out of debt? I do now!

5. The Financial Planning Affordability Paradox — The post where I ask a simple question: the people who can’t afford financial planning need it the most. How can we get it to them when advisors insist on charging so much?

Oh baby it’s the top 4

4. Financial Literacy Education Doesn’t Work — “If only I learned this stuff in school! I’d be so much better off!” “Uh, you do learn this stuff in school. And studies have shown the people who do learn it don’t retain it.” “No, that can’t be right.”

That’s personal finance education in a nutshell. And yet nobody gets it.

3. Your Favorite Personal Finance Blogger is Likely Crazy — Speaking of behavior issues…

Have you ever noticed that all of us are crazy? Think about it. Checking account balances more than once a day and losing sleep over stock market gyrations is not acceptable behavior. But maybe you have to be a little bit crazy to really succeed at this stuff.

2. How to Become a TFSA Millionaire — It turns out that if you consistently max the thing out and get a decent return, becoming a millionaire is almost guaranteed. That’s good news for those of us who plan on blowing all our money on popcorn and Skittles. Can I crash on your couch when you’re retired?

And finally…drumroll please… IT’S THE BEST POST OF 2016! ZOMG! I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN RIGHT NOW.

1. No, These Millennials Didn’t Get Rich By Avoiding Home Ownership — A couple or early retirees tried to argue that the whole reason they got rich was by not buying a house in Toronto during the greatest real estate boom in history. I did not agree with them.

And that’s it

It’s going to be pretty quiet around here for at least a couple of days. But there are lots of things to read in the ol’ archives. Some of it is even good!

Thanks for reading and happy whatever you celebrate to all of Financial Uproar’s readers. All others, as always, can go to hell.

Tell everyone, yo!