I gotta come up with a new title for these soon. I can’t count past 24.

Oh really? That’s the joke that makes you unsubscribe?

Speaking of subscribing, let me tell you kids about the new and improved Financial Uproar newsletter. It’s chock full of exclusive content at least once a week. None of that crap where I just recycle the stuff I put on the blog last Tuesday. It’s 100% new and it’s 1,000% good.

No, YOU’RE bad at percentages.

Last week’s email talked about an investing supertrend that you’re probably not aware exists, yet it’s gonna be huge. And the one the week before came with a special eight-page free report on one of my favorite stocks for the next year… or five years. I think it’s a terrific long-term hold, anyway.

It’s too late to get in on the supertrend article unless you successfully convince a current subscriber to forward you the goods. But you can still get the free top stock of 2017 report. All you gotta do is sign up for the newsletter and it’s my gift to you.

You’re not going to want to wait, either. It’s going away. Soon, too.

Newsletter subscribers will be getting all sorts of exclusive stuff in 2017 that won’t be accessible on the blog. So what are you waiting for? Sign up!


Links I liked

1. Let’s start things off with a little Bernie Madoff action because that’s amusing to me. It turns out he cornered the market on hot chocolate in prison, forcing anyone who wanted some to go through him. Once again Bernie is PLAYING WITH PEOPLE’S LIVES.

2. I’m not sure we can top the Bernie Madoff hot chocolate story, but let’s try. How about a multi-millionaire blogger that is paralyzed from the neck down? That’s pretty bananas, right?

3. Ever wondered why you can never get tickets for that hot concert or sporting event? It’s because you’re in competition with thousands and thousands of robots. And your unemployed brother-in-law. DAMMIT LARRY STOP HITTING REFRESH AND GET A JOB. Unless it’s at Financial Uproar. Then it’s cool.

4. Here’s Oddball Stocks on why he doesn’t use watch lists. I struggle with this but have tended to come to the same conclusion over the years. It takes too much mental energy to keep track of dozens of stocks in a watch list. So I don’t bother.

5. Paul over at Asset Based Life has some thoughts on the 4% withdrawal rule, which are, like always, worth your time. It turns out he doesn’t use the 4% rule when it comes to his own retirement assumptions. Prepare to get beaten up by a bunch of 38-year-old retirees, Paul.

6. Don’t Quit Your Day Job joins my stock picking contest each year. PK even won it a couple years back. Here’s an explanation on why he picked two airlines and two retail stocks for this year’s competition.

7. Sears is such a joke. The money quote:

Lampert, a former Wall Street prodigy, took control of Sears more than a decade ago and became its CEO in 2013. But he’s rarely seen in the office, typically visiting about once a year for the shareholder meeting and projecting into videoconference rooms at Sears’ Hoffman Estates, Illinois, headquarters the rest of the time, according to interviews with employees.

Outstanding. That is Sears in a nutshell. The CEO can’t even will himself to show up anymore.

8. Freedom 35 Blog has a great guide comparing Canada’s major bond ETFs. Y’know, if you’re one of those people who actually owns bonds in their portfolio.

9. My own Advisor tackled one of the questions us in the blogging business get fairly often: If you’re so smart then why aren’t you retired yet? I don’t plan to retire until the golf course drops its membership price to under $1,000 per year. Or when I start to understand inflation.

10. Nomad Capitalist thinks y’all should stop reading financial blogs that focus on frugality and spend more time thinking about big picture stuff.

11. Alpha Vulture highlights another attractive merger arbitrage idea in the land of micro-caps. This one could make you a cool 19% in just a few months.

12. And finally, here’s a good article at Morningstar about when it’s smart to incorporate and when you should keep going as a sole proprietor.

Stuff Nelson wrote

As a reminder, you can hire me to write for your blog, newspaper, or poorly-Xeroxed newsletter. Hit the ol’ contact me page to get the ball rolling. 

1. Here’s five reasons why your house is likely a terrible investment. But it’s okay. You can buy one anyway.

2. I also wrote about five top stock picks from Quebec’s Desjardins Capital Markets.

Tweet of the week 

That carrot is going to haunt my dreams.

Have a good week, everybody.

Tell everyone, yo!