Finally. The weekly linkfest is old enough to drink. In cat years, anyway.

NO, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH. (falls down stairs, breaks pelvis)

“I’m never drinking again.”

(12 hours later) “Let’s get CRUNK, BABY!”

The big event this week was Donald Trump finally being sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. Who woulda seen that coming 18 months ago? Absolutely bananas.

There’s a lot of concern about Trump, ranging from his Twitter habits to putting some bad guys in charge of certain departments. There are people saying he’s going to get us all killed. Because when I think of people dumb enough to get us all vaporized, I think of a successful real estate developer who then leveraged that into becoming one of the world’s biggest TV stars. What a maroon.

Also, I hereby decree that if you claim Trump will get us all killed in my presence, you must back it up with a $100 bet. If we’re all still alive in four years y’all owe me $100.

Let’s talk a little about investing in a Trump world. Here’s what you should do:

Absolutely nothing.

It’s silly to change your investment plan because some guy you don’t like is now in charge. He might be a terrible president. He might actually be decent. Most likely he’ll be somewhere in between. This always happens.

How exactly can the average person a) predict how he’ll do and then b) predict correctly how that will impact their portfolio? The smartest minds in the world can’t do it. What chance do you have?

If you must get out of the stock market, don’t be stupid and just sit on a bunch of cash. That’s a guaranteed way to not get rich. Put that money to work in private businesses, debt, real estate, whatever. Selling everything will always be colossally dumb.

Links I liked

1. Let’s start things off with a fascinating article about A&W, the burger chain that has successfully reinvented itself into a place so cool I’m not even allowed inside. Even after I put a wig on.

2. Boomer and Echo talked about the latte factor, saying those millennials who think the rule is crap (like this guy!) just don’t get it. This is one of those issues that have great arguments on both sides. Ideally we’d both cut down on little expenditures and earn more. But if you had to just choose one, I’d go for earning more. Every. Damn. Time.

3. Here’s a great story by the New York Post about a cranky old dude who refused to vacate his shitty New York City apartment after the building was bought by developers. Spoiler alert: the guy got paid.

4. CMHC mortgage premiums went up again this week. That sound you heard was your Realtor friend crying. Canadian Mortgage Trends has all the deets.

5. Here’s an interesting long thesis for America’s Car Mart, which basically sells cars to dirtbags. Turns out it’s a pretty profitable business that’s growing nicely.

6. Freedom 35 Blog knows making fun of dumb personal finance myths is basically my kryptonite. Here are five of the worst offenders.

7. Here’s a list of 15 top stocks for 2017 as selected by SumZero. The list represents the best long ideas from SumZero’s army of members, which include hedge fund analysts, private equity investors, and others with an assload of relevant experience. It’s 149 pages, so you’d better get to it.

8. Speaking of top stocks, Ian Bezek posted his top pick for 2017 over at Seeking Alpha, which is a Mexican airport operator trading at a pretty compelling valuation.

9. The Dividend Growth Investor blog just turned nine, which is the equivalent of making it well into your second century in human years. He lists nine dividend investing lessons that are a great reminder for all of us, not just people who insist on getting paid every quarter.

10. Congrats to Jordannnnnnnnnn (that is an accurate spelling of her name) of My Alternate Life, who increased her net worth nearly $100,000 in just five years. So many bloggers killing it with their net worths, yet Nelly’s just sitting here, keeping it all private. Is that a tease?

11. Here’s a finalist for dumbest Reddit thread of the year, but I still enjoyed it. Was Dwight Schrute from The Office independently wealthy?

12. I’m a fan of Peter Hodson, who runs 5i Research. His picks are usually small-cap growth companies that have a lot of potential for heading higher. He was on Market Call this week, a video that’s worth a few minutes of your time.

Stuff Nelson wrote

As a reminder, you can hire me to write for your blog, newspaper, or poorly-Xeroxed newsletter. Hit the ol’ contact me page to get the ball rolling. 

1. I wrote about investing in marijuana stocks, and why it’s probably a bad idea. On the other hand, it could be really huge. You won’t catch any weed stocks in my portfolio, anyway.

2. Do people honestly think BCE and its Crave video streaming service really compete with Netflix? They do. And they’re wrong.

Tweet of the week

You gotta admit, that would have made the inauguration a whole lot more entertaining.

Have a good week, everyone.

Tell everyone, yo!