As every major North American stock index (including the little-known Nelson index, which just tracks stocks I think have fun ticker symbols) starts hitting new all-time highs, us value investors tend to take our proverbial ball and go home. I am not above acting like a petulant child.

My default reaction in today’s markets is to do a few different things. First, I’m focusing on paying down my mortgage, using funds I’d normally be pouring into the stock market. I’m also looking heavily at alternate investments, things that will provide me cash flow without the risk of falling 20%. I just did another private mortgage, for instance.

Surprisingly, I haven’t sold anything lately, which is usually the final step. The last stock I sold was in 2016, and that was because it got taken over. Most of the stocks I own pay pretty succulent dividends, so I’m happy to hold, even if I think they could easily fall 20%. The dividends are safe no matter what the stock market does.

Remember that I’ve been saying stocks are expensive for years now. This is another reason why I’m reluctant to sell just because markets seem a little bubbly. Besides, I kinda got that one right. I wrote that article on August 13th, 2014, when the TSX was at 15,300. 18 months later the TSX was below 13,000 and I was buying stocks with all the gusto of a crack addict just outta rehab.

Besides, I’m not sure today’s the same as 2014. There’s a major source of funds that could propel stocks higher. Much higher, actually.

Enter scared millennials

God, you millennials make me sick. Always making it about you like a bunch of GLORY HOGS. Why can’t you just suck it up and be more like your grandparents? They got shot at in World War II and THEY LIKED IT, DARGBLOOMIT.

Millennials are scared of everything. Home ownership is hard, so they prefer to rent. Building up a career isn’t as fun as bouncing around, so they change companies faster than my cheap ass uses Subway coupons. And most alarming of all, they all pretty much refuse to invest in the stock market.

These are U.S. numbers, but I’d bet a lot of money that Canadian millennials have about the same asset allocation:

Only 14% of millennials’ portfolios are in stocks. You’ve got to be kidding me. And 46% of millennials think “investing” is too risky. Not stocks; or crazy penny stocks; or even Bitcoin. Just investing in general. It’s the equivalent of refusing to go up an elevator because 9/11 happened.

Too soon?

Look, millennials, I don’t like making fun of a whole generation, but you people are basically asking for it. And I thought I was wussing out by paying my mortgage instead of investing.

Notice the small print of that graphic there, too. These aren’t poor millennials. These are people with at least $50k in assets. They are the 1% of millennials.

What happens when they start investing?

One of the things propelling the 1990s tech bubble boom was baby boomers putting their cash to work in the market. Granted, a lot of that money went into insanely overvalued tech stocks, but it still got invested in equities.

Millennials could start doing the same thing. They’ve got the money and most hardly remember the meltdown of 2008-09. And if they insist on continuing to rent they won’t have a house to pour all of their disposable income into. Equities will be the default investment choice.

When baby boomers and generation X started investing, you could get a decent return on a GIC. Sure, a 6% GIC isn’t very exciting when inflation is at 3.5%, but the average person doesn’t care about that. A 2% GIC sucks, even if inflation is basically zero.

Let’s face it. The average person with a bunch of money in a savings account is hardly a sophisticated investor. They’re the kinds of people who will get wrapped up in the hysteria of a market heading 20% higher in 2017.

The end

Nobody knows if millennials are going to flood the stock market in the next couple of years. What I do know is that there are a million things that can cause an overpriced market to keep rising. Be wary of doing stupid stuff like selling everything just because markets are expensive. The better course of action is to hang on, be picky buying new stocks, and perhaps taking capital and putting it to other uses.

There’s no telling how much higher the market could go. Be cautious, but don’t be stupid. Keep investing in stocks you like, but maybe do some other stuff with the money.

Tell everyone, yo!