Oh hey, guys. You might have been wondering where I’ve been after these last few weeks of nothingness from the ol’ FU machine.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t slacking. I know, I’m shocked too.

After much thinking and 6,382 sleepless nights (no need to double check that, it’s right), I finally made the decision. It’s time to retire the Uproar. There are all sorts of reasons why I’ll no longer be updating the site, including a lack of passion for most personal finance topics (that, frankly, I mastered years ago), and the inevitable realization that dick jokes will never monetize worth anything. Which is too bad because dick jokes are great fun, guys.

The average personal finance blog really has three ways to monetize itself. It can:

  • Sell ads
  • Sell products
  • Become a platform for the writer’s freelance career

I did well on point 3 (somehow), didn’t even try point 2, and failed miserably on point 1. Because, again, what kind of serious company wants to work with a blogger who mixes sexual inuendos with actual points about finance? I thought too much about the entertainment of my readers and not enough about the long-term viability of my business.

And to think, I analyzed businesses for a living for a while there. Nice going, Sparky.

So I’m shutting down the Uproar and moving onto something more serious. I hope you’ll join me there.

My new project is Canadian Dividend Investing, which seeks to be a one-stop shop for Canadians looking to increase their passive income. Much of the focus will be on dividend-paying stocks, obviously, but we’ll also cover all of the other ways to make passive income as well.

Now that our mortgage is fully paid off, I’m directing all our spare cash towards creating a portfolio that spins off massive amounts of passive income. As I research these stocks, two things stand out. Firstly, I have a vast knowledge of this part of the investing universe. And there are hardly any websites dedicated to being a resource for Canadian dividend investors who want to keep the majority of their money in Canada. That smells like opportunity to me.

The FU archives will continue to be up for a few more months until the hosting expires, so get your fix in now. And it’ll still be me over at CDI, just without the dick jokes. I’ll leave my Twitter feed active too, but I’ll probably change the name of it. The new site has its own Twitter and Facebook pages, too, if you’d like to check those out. I’ll monitor comments here for a few more days too, but I’m not going to spend much time here going forward. I’ve taken this as far as I can. It’s time to start something new.

Tell everyone, yo!