Poor Mackenzie Bezos. It’s never fun having your marriage crumble in public view, and it’s even less fun now that it looks like Jeff was a cheating scumbag.

Here’s a one-paragraph summary for those of you hiding under a rock last week. After 25 years of marriage, Jeff Bezos announces he and wife Mackenzie are getting divorced. Just hours later it’s revealed Jeff has a new lady who just happens to be the wife of one of his buddies. Further investigation reveals Jeff and his new lady have been an item for almost a year now.

So yeah. It sure looks like Jeff fucked up.

This decision is going to cost him a lot of money. There’s apparently no pre-nup in place, and they were married a full year before Jeff founded Amazon. They live in Washington state, which means she’s entitled to half of that Amazon money. Jeff’s stake in Amazon is worth approximately $140 billion today, give or take a few B’s.

Or, as Jeff likes to call it, chump change.

Let’s help Mackenzie out here. Should she hold out for half, or should she settle for less?

Holding out

This argument is simple. Jeff built Amazon while the two were married (apparently she helped some during the early years), so she’s legally entitled to half the stock. Amazon doesn’t pay any dividends or anything, but she’d immediately become the world’s wealthiest woman with her share. I’m sure she could find a way to make ends meet.

And besides, Jeff is clearly in the wrong here. We don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors, but there’s only one spouse who we know cheated, and that’s ol’ horndog Jeff. Maybe she nagged him to death and practically drove him into another woman’s arms, but Jeff needs to man up and get rid of his wife before he cheats.

In short, the shitty behavior justifies Mackenzie going for every nickel she’s entitled to. Imagine if she got the whole $70B, put it into assets that aren’t Amazon, and then walloped Jeff in the net worth race because Amazon has peaked? That would be 57 different kinds of fun!

Take a settlement

Hoo boy. You haven’t even typed a word yet and I already know you’re getting in trouble.

Well how about that? Italics Man is right for once.

I don’t care what the law says. There’s no way Mackenzie Bezos is 50% responsible for Amazon. Her true contribution to Amazon is probably in the 1-2% range, and even that’s being generous.

This isn’t discounting Mackenzie at all. By all accounts she seems like a smart, caring, driven woman who is a great mom to her and Jeff’s kids. But is raising four kids really worth billions of dollars? Of course not. Even if she freed up every minute of Jeff’s time — which she likely didn’t, since he was a good family man who made an effort to be home most nights — that’s still not worth billions of dollars.

Thus, Mackenzie should take a settlement in the $10-$20 billion range. That’ll give her more money than she can ever spend while not totally screwing over Jeff. Yes, I realize she’s legally entitled to much more, but she knows she doesn’t deserve it.

I asked y’all on Twitter already, and the answer was pretty overwhelming. Mackenzie should go for most of the money she’s entitled to.

What say you, FU readers? Should Mackenzie Bezos fight for every nickel? Or should she take a reasonable settlement? The comment section is all yours. 

Tell everyone, yo!