Just like this blog post. HEYO. 

Uh, I make the jokes around here, Italics Man. Your role is to go straight to hell and stay there forever.

One of the things about being a sometimes-personal-finance-and-often-investing-blogger (or NAMBLA for short) is you sometimes feel pressure to do stuff so you have blog fodder. A finance blogger most of you have heard of told me that very thing one day, and I didn’t immediately dismiss her as crazy. That came later, when she demonstrated that she was, in fact, batshit insane.

If I ever felt this pressure (don’t worry, the only pressure I feel is CRIPPLING CHEST PAINS), I can easily get away from it by buying a few stocks and then telling you guys about it. I’m steadily adding money to my investment accounts and then putting it to work. I try to diversify much more these days, which means I’m constantly buying smaller or medium-sized positions in what I view are great companies. The diversification part is in case I’m wrong, which is entirely possible.

But what’s a fella to do if you’re not into active investing? There’s nothing exciting about making your monthly contribution into two or three index funds. And saving 20% of your income each and every month is about as sexy as your grandmother trying on new underwear. IS THAT A THONG? GRANDMA!

Hell, getting rich the old fashioned way might be the most boring thing outside of a computer-generated image of a black hole. NOBODY CARES, NERDS. CALL ME WHEN YOU FIND ALIENS. You save 10% or 20% or whatever percentage of your income, slowly put it to work, and repeat 40,000 times. No wonder people get bored and feel the need to spice it up with all sorts of nonsense that will make you richer slightly faster.

But the boredom should be embraced. It’s a desired side effect, not some complication that needs to be addressed. Keep your finances boring and add the spice to other parts of your life. Like have you ever considered unprotected sex with strangers? I hear that’ll get the ol’ heart pumping.

Tell everyone, yo!