Apr 172014

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to get stock tips or have investing ideas delivered to your email. I’m also on The Twitter.Thanks for visiting!Tweet These days, it’s probably the best time in history to be born without a penis. Women are free to choose any path they’d like, a privilege really only granted over the last generation. Women can have all the casual relations they’d like, with minimal consequences. Women are buying houses and making all sorts of other large decisions without having a partner. A Read More [...]

Apr 152014

Tweet I come from a long line of entrepreneurs. My grandparents on my mother’s side of the family own a business. My parents own a business, even though it’s my dad who does all the work. My sister owns a business and you could even argue this blog is a business, albeit a kinda crappy one. If I wanted to work in the family business, I’d have plenty of choices. And yet, I’ve neglected to be involved in all of them. I help out every now and again, mostly to Read More [...]

Apr 142014

Tweet What is? A fund? Sounds fun. I’m here all week. Because I’M IN VEGAS SUCKAS. (Gets drunk, tackles a cop, everyone laughs because it’s Vegas) Just in time for the market to melt down completely, it’s the Financial Uproar fund, which I really should call the FU fund. Nah, that seems a little offensive. So the Uproar fund it is. The fund is simple. It starts out with $100,000, all in cash. Positions are added as I buy stocks in real life. I can’t cherry pick and choose investments Read More [...]

Apr 132014

Tweet Probably about the time you’ll read this, I’ll be on my annual vacation to Las Vegas. This is either my fourth or fifth visit to Sin City, because if I lack anything, it’s imagination. I’ve already looked at the forecast, and it’s going to be above 30 degrees every day I’m going to be there. That’s the main reason why I’m going to be there. There are people who get a little excited about vacationing, talking about how visiting Europe or Central America or whatever changed their lives, who Read More [...]

Apr 122014

Tweet Oh hey, it’s the weekend, and you’re probably looking to go sip some sort of alcoholic beverage, with your feet up, sans pants. Good for you, slugger. You slacked off on the internet worked hard to push some widgets this week, and you deserve this weekend. But is this what you do with your spare time? The Masters is on. Fred Couples might win. Probably not, but he might. Let’s get this finished and get you back watching sports, what God intended. Unless you’re reading this on Monday, in which Read More [...]

Apr 112014

Tweet There are at least a billion (not even close, but let’s go with it) old posts in my archives, and nobody ever bothers to read them. They get lonely all tucked away down there. So every Friday afternoon, you’re all going to be treated to a blast from the past. Take it away, guy who used to be me. First off, a disclaimer before we start. Well, sort of. I really don’t care for finance blog posts that get political. There’s a couple of reasons for this. First off, I’m Read More [...]

Apr 112014

Tweet I have a theory that a full 95% of people who live in large cities don’t bother to take advantage of the amenities that city has to offer. Take, for example, the handsome devil writing this post. HEY THAT’S ME! (fist pumps) I enjoy having access to all the stores I could ever want and a whole bunch of different food choices, even if those choices will eventually cripple me and I just go to the same pizza place I went to last week. They have breadsticks. It’s Little Read More [...]

Apr 102014

Tweet Excuse me for a minute, I’m just going to rip off a lot of this post from the Globe and Mail, the fine place of journalistic integrity that managed to convince me to pay for unlimited access like some sort of chump and/or chumpette. It’s about value investing, because everything around here is about value investing. And boobs. (You might not be able to access that without a membership to that particular website. Sucka.) Don’t worry, I’ll quote enough of it to you to get the gist. Study after Read More [...]

Apr 102014

Tweet Like a lot of you, I’m a fan of CBC’s hit show Dragon’s Den. I’m such a fan that I once snuck in and watched them filming an episode. Spoiler alert: it was hi-larious. Everyone was walking around in their underpants. Water guns were being squirted. People’s faces were meeting pies. It was exactly what you’d expect from a Three Stooges episode. No, it wasn’t. I largely made up that last paragraph for your comedic amusement. I know. You are SHOCKED. As the show has evolved, various wealthy people Read More [...]

Apr 092014

Tweet Well, well, well. Finally, the end to the contest none of you really wanted is upon us. 14 powerful and attractive women have been thrown to the trash heap, used as nothing but pawns for our amusement. If they knew this competition existed, they might shrug and say “meh.” No, they’d be undoubtedly crushed. And why wouldn’t they? After all, the ladies on CNBC each make a couple of million per year, even more if they get one of the plum gigs during the afternoon. Apparently Fox Business paid Read More [...]

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