It was Black Friday just a couple days ago, internet, and I for one couldn’t be happier!
Okay, that’s not really true. I didn’t go out and take advantage of any deals. I did browse some of the online sales, but didn’t really find anything that satisfied my hankering for cool stuff. I’m not in the market for a new TV, or a new laptop, or some crummy tablet running Microsoft’s version of trying to be Apple. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about Black Friday, I just didn’t have any need for any of the stuff.
But then, I had to read what the rest of the PF-o-sphere had to say about the “holiday,” and I immediately got a little upset. My God, my peers are sacrimonious dicks when it comes to Black Friday. Everybody who ventured out and bought some stuff was to be ostracized as some sort of dumbass who doesn’t know a thing about money. Here’s the deal: if you were going to go buy a TV anyway, then spending a couple hours standing in line to save $200 can be justified as a good idea. Besides, we all waste enough time that you can’t convince me that those two hours would automatically be put to greater use. I probably would have spent those two hours playing with myself while watching sports. Is that really so much better than waiting in line to score a cheaper TV?
And then, EVERY SINGLE PF BLOGGER came up with some sort of variation of the same line: “If you’d take that Black Friday money and put it in a savings account, you’d be $x better off.” HOLY CRAP NO WAY. Here’s an idea: maybe if you stop treating your readers like they’re retarded, you’ll get smarter readers.
Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
It’s Ray Charles. And he’s blind. BUT HE CAN SEE THE MUSIC.
I dance to every song, every week. My pants usually come off. It’s romantic.
Mr. Burns: Your painting is bold but beautiful. And incidentally, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia…
Marge: I thought I did.
Market Call Guest You Should Watch
Instead of telling you to go watch some fund manager talk about how he doesn’t outperform the market, let’s switch things up. While the CBC is mostly a waste of taxpayer dollars that would be better left to rot on the side of the road like the carcass it is, sometimes they put out good stuff. Like this episode of Doc Zone, where they take a look at Toronto’s condo boom and the effects it’s had on the city.
A Post You Might Have Missed
Calgary is supposed to hit a low of minus 27 on Thursday night. If you have any weather related prayers, I’d appreciate being a part of them.
I wrote about insider trading. Except it’s not the kind of insider trading that you think it is. It’s the legal kind, which makes it OH SO RIGHT BABY. Unlike that time I was sexually attracted to an otter.
Nelson’s So Funny
Because you all apparently didn’t get enough of me talking about Black Friday earlier…
I avoided Black Friday too, but unlike the rest of the internet I wasn’t a smug dick about it.
— Nelson (@financialuproar) November 29, 2013
That is the greatest tweet I have ever wrote that didn’t get 14 retweets and 31 favorites. I demand you all go back and rectify this unspeakable sin.
Dirty Word In Words With Friends
Pickings have been a little slim this week, since all my Words friends abandoned me faster than a deadbeat dad going to the store for “a few minutes.” Somebody played ‘shit’ though. That was nice in a disgusting, dirty way.
My user is nelsmi. If we play I will cry real tears of joy.
Babe Loosely Related To Finance
Come on The Chive, we need some chicks with self esteem issues!
Thank you, anonymous women of the internet.
Time For Links
Let’s start things off with a Business Insider piece on a man in a Colorado prison who may have been wrongly accused, and how his many years in the clink affected him mentally. No jokes, since I kinda feel bad for the guy.
I went to a Target, saw some issues, and then wrote about it over at Seeking Alpha. Bonus, pictures! Not so bonus, not pictures like what’s above.
Since links from around the PFsphere were a little thin this week, another Seeking Alpha piece by yours truly, this one is on how Rogers Communications scored with that new NHL deal.
Darwin’s Money bought a bitcoin. He has some thoughts on the new currency. No, he will not give you a bitcoin for clicking through and reading. I will, but you’ll have to wait until the year 3000 for payment.
Over at Vanessa’s Money, she busts the myth that you automatically need a million bucks to retire, especially if you have a fairly modest lifestyle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – retiring early is mostly about lowering your expectations. Oh, and boobs.
And that’s about it. Have a good week everyone.