HEY! YOU! PAY ATTENTION!
If you’re signed up to my mailing list, you should know I’m switching things up a little. Instead of getting a short snippet each time I publish something new, we’re going to switch to sending something once or twice a week – Mondays and/or Fridays – depending on how much I’ve published during the week. If you’d like to continue receiving every post via email, go ahead and click this bad boy here. There you’ll have the option of subscribing via your favorite RSS reader or email, but you’ll continue to each and every new HOT TAKE every time I publish. And what fun that’ll be.
Or you can just do nothing. That works too.
Okay, onto the random crap. It is currently MINUS 27 degrees in beautiful Calgary Alberta, which is officially the worst. You know those people who say “well don’t complain about the cold because then it’ll get too hot in the summer and you’ll complain about that?” SCREW THOSE PEOPLE. I would much rather sweat my ass off than freeze it off. Anyone who doesn’t agree is a communist.
For Christ’s sake, it’s March. It’s supposed to be practically spring. January and February are the worst months by far, but March is normally okay. It starts to warm up, the days start getting longer, and you can finally begin to feel winter’s grip begin to loosen. BUT NOT WHEN IT’S COLDER THAN SANTA CLAUS’S NUTSACK.
We’re at the point of winter where everyone isn’t even mad about it being cold anymore. They just sigh and put on their toques and walk like a soldier being taken to a POW camp. Canadians, this is when you need to take your holiday down south. Not in November, or even in January. Be patient, and then you can mock all the suckers from your Mexican beach.
/Schedules holiday for two weeks
/Ends up being +10 the whole week I’m gone
Song I Like And Therefore You Should Too
German heavy metal? LET’S DO IT UP AND THEN SMASH STUFF.
You know how sometimes you’ll get music playing from one of your internet tabs and you’ll have to go through them all just to find the right one? Well Safari puts a little play sign on the tab that’s responsible for the noise. This is the best thing they’ve done since Jobs kicked it. It almost makes me forget I paid $1200 for a laptop.
Hutz: So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.
Judge: Mr. Hutz, do you know you’re not wearing any pants?
Hutz: I.. AAAAH! I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Yeah. That’s why you’re the judge, and I’m the law talkin’ guy!
Gambling Is Fun
This category is back for just this week, since the 2014 MLB regular season over/unders are out, my favorite things ever. You all have no idea how long I’ve spent talking about these.
The San Francisco Giants are at 86.5 wins, which is pretty much screaming at me to take the under. Pittsburgh is at 83.5, and I’m taking the over. They’ve got a long of good young pitching I think comes through in a big way for them this year. And finally, I’m taking the over for my Toronto Blue Jays, currently sitting at 79.5. Because why just get disappointed when I can set myself up for an even bigger disappointment?
A Post You Might Have Missed
I wrote about the basics of renting out your spare bedroom on AirBnB. You’re on your own if you want to rent out your body at the same time.
Nelson’s So Funny
@financialuproar Just wanted to tell you that you’re the best, bro.
— Nelson (@financialuproar) February 25, 2014
Gosh, I love myself. Most every night, in fact. Don’t judge me. It’s romantic.
Dirty Word In Words With Friends
I turned bone into boner, much to the delight of at least one person.
Assuming any of you still play, my user is ‘nelsmi’. I will crush you and then crush your dreams for good measure.
Babe Loosely Related To Finance
Screw loosely related to finance. We’re going right in today, with CNBC’s newest anchor chick, Sara Eisen.
She’s no scantily clad chick from The Chive suffering from some other issue, but she’ll do. Oh, she’ll do.
Time For Links
We have a whole month worth of links to go through. This might take a little while.
Let’s start things off with my favorite nerd, PK from Don’t Quit Your Day Job. Every now and again, some BS article will pop up proclaiming someone is saving too much for retirement, and how they should cut back. PK rips that argument to shreds by pointing out that 99.9% of us don’t have that problem. And then he probably ripped his shirt off like the most non-muscular Incredible Hulk ever. More like Ordinary Hulk.
Remember how I used to link to Money Mamba every week? My homeslice JT does his writing exclusively for Motley Fool now. He wrote a post on Carl Ichan’s activist position at eBay, pointing out that spinning out Paypal isn’t really the problem there.
Around 8 or 9 months ago, I did a couple of guest posts for 101 Centavos. And shortly thereafter he promptly disappeared, possibly due to embarrassment or people threatening to light his house on fire if he ever invited that Financial Uproar guy back and P.S. you smell funny. It took him a bit of time to get over it, but he’s back, and writing about investing in marijuana stocks. Probably while high.
Here’s a bunch of people who earned a living playing online poker. It’s an interesting read. While I enjoy the odd virtual game of cards – and even less frequent real game – I didn’t realize how much of a grind playing online poker for a living would be.
Speaking of people who took long-ass hiatuses, Joe from Timeless Finance is back, and is already out of post ideas. That was quick. I’m also the first non-female to ever say that phrase to him. Anyway, he had the first mailbag in the history of the internet that didn’t consist solely of questions the author made up themselves.
Let’s keep the party rolling with a new (to me) blog called Getting A Rich Life. Author Charles lives in Hawaii and has a net worth of more than $1M. That’s good hustle. He also doesn’t have a huge emergency fund, because that’s for suckers. Go see his reasons why he thinks emergency funds actually hold people back.
MakinSenseBabe thinks you should do the opposite as what those guys on CNBC say. That’s probably a good idea. Doing the opposite of what I say is a guaranteed no-brainer way to suck, FYI. Nobody wants to suck.
Vancouver’s real estate market is so silly that Vancity is offering a mortgage especially for people who want to buy a house with their buddy. The fact this mortgage exists is more telling than anything, really.
Control Your Cash isn’t allowed to call the financial retard of the month an actual retard anymore, so they’ve made it into an acronym. Go check out February’s, and then come back and be amazed how it’s an actual person and not a parody.
Over at My Pennies My Thoughts, Janine thinks millennials are investing too conservatively, and need to take more risks. Like backflips. And car chases. Or hooker sex sans condom. She’s a real badass, apparently.
10 links? That’s a new record. Way to not suck, blogonet. Anyone who isn’t mentioned here needs to step up their game, obvs.
Have a good week everyone.