Hey, it’s been a while since I did one of these, huh?
You’ll notice this here blog is a lot spiffier than it used to be. I’ve never been one for obsessing about how this thing looked, but I wasn’t really satisfied with my old design. So I asked around, was told that a certain amount of money was reasonable for a redesign, and set to polishing up this turd to the point where people might think it looks good.
And then I realized just how easy simple web design can be with the right tools.
It took me probably about six hours to create what you’re seeing here, and that was after consulting an awful lot of help guides. You might scoff and say it isn’t as good as something a professional might have done (rightfully so by the way), but I’m convinced it’s 90% of the way there. So that’s good enough for me.
Feel free to leave your opinions of the fresh new look in the comments, whether you like the new design or hate it with all your being. All others, as always, can go to hell.
Song I like and therefore you should too
TAYLOR SWIFT IS SINGLE AGAIN. Apparently Calvin Harris dumped her ass for being crazy. This surprises nobody. Somebody is going to write a tell-all biography of that woman and it is going to sell very well.
Anyhoo, here’s a Weezer song about liking a lesbian.
Oh hiiiiiiii Frinkiac, letting me do this in picture form.
Post you might have missed
Oh, this is fun. This is the part of the link dump when I point out something deep in the archives that you really should have read but haven’t, on account that you HATE ME AND TELL ME YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY MY DADDY IT WAS THE MILKMAN BECAUSE MOM’S A WHORE.
So instead of that awkwardness I’ll just tell you to go read about why working backwards to retirement is more ideal than the current system.
Nelson’s on Twitter
Oh boy! There’s like six months worth of crap to go through. I’m more excited than that time I touched the ball at soccer.
.@ShaniaTwain I’VE BEEN WAITING 20 YEARS TO KNOW WHAT IMPRESSES YOU WHY DON’T YOU JUST TELL US ALREADY.
— Nelson! (@financialuproar) May 25, 2016
I’m still awaiting a response to this very reasonable and not the least bit crazy tweet. It’s not like Shania has anything better to do.
The more you know
Time to get lost down the random article rabbit hole on the ol’ Wikipedia.
Hey Cruel World…Tour was the worldwide concert tour by American rock band Marilyn Manson. Launched in support of their eighth full-length studio LP, 2012’s Born Villain, it is the band’s thirteenth tour and marks the group’s ninth tour to spread over multiple legs spanning over North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Oceania. The tour was named after a promotional single titled, “Hey Cruel World…” off of their album.
I did not know that Marilyn Manson was a band. I thought he was a just a weird pervy skinny guy who liked to dress up in weird makeup. He does have a sense of humor though. Here’s a shot of the stage of said tour.
Kevin O’Leary’s stock pick
Thanks Nelson. By the way, what’s the matter with you? In the six(!) months in between these God forsaken link dumps I closed four Shark Tank deals, became the favorite to become the leader of the Conservative party and still managed to get on TV 4,920 additional times.
My stock pick this week is going to be Smart REIT, which owns a bunch of Wal-Mart anchored real estate. It pays Daddy a handsome dividend, and I like how new its portfolio is. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Wal-Mart? Oh, it was horrible. My wife needs to be drunk to tolerate me and Wal-Mart was the only place open. I went in looking for a bottle of O’Leary’s finest and was immediately greeted by some nutbar factor six in an electric wheelchair. She was nothing but nice to me, so I went ahead and murdered her in front of everybody.
The worst part? They didn’t even carry O’Leary’s finest. That place is a two bit operation that’ll never make the big time.
Babe loosely related to finance
Can we take a minute to talk about how former finance babe Elizabeth Holmes went from apparently being worth $4.5 billion down to zero? Really? Zero? She didn’t even have a few $50s in her wallet?
Anyhoo, let’s go with hot music babe from earlier, Marilyn Manson!
Oh. It turns out that person does not look like I originally thought. Never mind.
Let’s go old school this week with the hottest first lady in history (at least until Trump gets elected), Jackie Kennedy.
Time for links
Lots of links so no time for dicking around.
Let’s start things off with friend of the blog Sandi Martin, author of Spring Personal Finance. Back in the spring (see what I did there??!) she pointed out how it’s probably not such a bad thing to spend your tax refund. Just don’t spend it on weed, you dummy.
If you’re interested in the business behind blogging, I’d recommend this post by Afford Anything, who was actually kind enough to hang out with me once and not order me killed immediately afterwards. That came a whole week later.
Over at Young and Thrifty, Kyle relays the story of how his old man owned a house without ever having a mortgage payment. I’m not sure you could replicate this without a time machine or marrying Bill Gates’ daughter, but I still enjoyed the story.
Don’t Quit Your Day Job also recently redesigned their blog into something that makes my redesign look like a pile of puke. PK also recently wrote about payday loans, which are my Kriptonite. PREVIEW ALERT: I wrote a little more about the industry for Monday’s post. That’s what us in the business call a tease, kids.
Here’s an article I wrote over at Motley Fool about how you can pay 0% tax in retirement. It’s a little light (because I had to stay under my word count), so I’ll expand on it for a future post. It’s a pretty interesting concept.
More stuff I wrote? Okay! Here’s an article I did for Sustainable Personal Finance where I asked if Costco is really saving you money. I love Costco as much as a man can love a store, but that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and blowjobs.
Over at Boomer and Echo, Robb weighs in on Canada’s housing bubble, telling folks they’d be CRAZEE to buy a house in Toronto or Vancouver right now. He also thinks you’re CRAZEE to do things like eat a popsicle upside down or kiss in the rain, but those are only because he’s a little scared of outside.
Money Time Blog’s John Ryan, the guy with two first names, wrote about a fun exchange a buddy of his had trying to sell a phone on Craigslist. And then John tried to sell his body on Craigslist but couldn’t get bids higher than 80 cents. Hey John, pro tip. The hookers hang out on Kijiji.
And that’s about it. There’s probably more but like I’m going to go through six months of back posts. Have a great weekend, everyone.