Sunday Morning Dump: Ruffled, Hookers, Jackie O

Hey, it’s been a while since I did one of these, huh?

You’ll notice this here blog is a lot spiffier than it used to be. I’ve never been one for obsessing about how this thing looked, but I wasn’t really satisfied with my old design. So I asked around, was told that a certain amount of money was reasonable for a redesign, and set to polishing up this turd to the point where people might think it looks good.

And then I realized just how easy simple web design can be with the right tools.

It took me probably about six hours to create what you’re seeing here, and that was after consulting an awful lot of help guides. You might scoff and say it isn’t as good as something a professional might have done (rightfully so by the way), but I’m convinced it’s 90% of the way there. So that’s good enough for me.

Feel free to leave your opinions of the fresh new look in the comments, whether you like the new design or hate it with all your being. All others, as always, can go to hell.

Song I like and therefore you should too




TAYLOR SWIFT IS SINGLE AGAIN. Apparently Calvin Harris dumped her ass for being crazy. This surprises nobody. Somebody is going to write a tell-all biography of that woman and it is going to sell very well.

Anyhoo, here’s a Weezer song about liking a lesbian.

Simpsons quote

Oh hiiiiiiii Frinkiac, letting me do this in picture form.

careful they're ruffled

Post you might have missed

Oh, this is fun. This is the part of the link dump when I point out something deep in the archives that you really should have read but haven’t, on account that you HATE ME AND TELL ME YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY MY DADDY IT WAS THE MILKMAN BECAUSE MOM’S A WHORE.

So instead of that awkwardness I’ll just tell you to go read about why working backwards to retirement is more ideal than the current system.

Nelson’s on Twitter

Oh boy! There’s like six months worth of crap to go through. I’m more excited than that time I touched the ball at soccer.

I’m still awaiting a response to this very reasonable and not the least bit crazy tweet. It’s not like Shania has anything better to do.

The more you know

Time to get lost down the random article rabbit hole on the ol’ Wikipedia.

Hey Cruel World…Tour was the worldwide concert tour by American rock band Marilyn Manson. Launched in support of their eighth full-length studio LP, 2012’s Born Villain, it is the band’s thirteenth tour and marks the group’s ninth tour to spread over multiple legs spanning over North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Oceania. The tour was named after a promotional single titled, “Hey Cruel World…” off of their album.

I did not know that Marilyn Manson was a band. I thought he was a just a weird pervy skinny guy who liked to dress up in weird makeup. He does have a sense of humor though. Here’s a shot of the stage of said tour.


Kevin O’Leary’s stock pick

Each Link Dump, current BNN personality and Shark Tank investor Kevin O’Leary is kind enough to give us his favorite stock pick. Take it away, Kevin.

Thanks Nelson. By the way, what’s the matter with you? In the six(!) months in between these God forsaken link dumps I closed four Shark Tank deals, became the favorite to become the leader of the Conservative party and still managed to get on TV 4,920 additional times.

My stock pick this week is going to be Smart REIT, which owns a bunch of Wal-Mart anchored real estate. It pays Daddy a handsome dividend, and I like how new its portfolio is. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Wal-Mart? Oh, it was horrible. My wife needs to be drunk to tolerate me and Wal-Mart was the only place open. I went in looking for a bottle of O’Leary’s finest and was immediately greeted by some nutbar factor six in an electric wheelchair. She was nothing but nice to me, so I went ahead and murdered her in front of everybody.

The worst part? They didn’t even carry O’Leary’s finest. That place is a two bit operation that’ll never make the big time.

Babe loosely related to finance

Can we take a minute to talk about how former finance babe Elizabeth Holmes went from apparently being worth $4.5 billion down to zero? Really? Zero? She didn’t even have a few $50s in her wallet?

Anyhoo, let’s go with hot music babe from earlier, Marilyn Manson!

Oh. It turns out that person does not look like I originally thought. Never mind.

Let’s go old school this week with the hottest first lady in history (at least until Trump gets elected), Jackie Kennedy.

jackie o

So classy.

Time for links

Lots of links so no time for dicking around.

Let’s start things off with friend of the blog Sandi Martin, author of Spring Personal Finance. Back in the spring (see what I did there??!) she pointed out how it’s probably not such a bad thing to spend your tax refund. Just don’t spend it on weed, you dummy.

If you’re interested in the business behind blogging, I’d recommend this post by Afford Anything, who was actually kind enough to hang out with me once and not order me killed immediately afterwards. That came a whole week later.

Over at Young and Thrifty, Kyle relays the story of how his old man owned a house without ever having a mortgage payment. I’m not sure you could replicate this without a time machine or marrying Bill Gates’ daughter, but I still enjoyed the story.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job also recently redesigned their blog into something that makes my redesign look like a pile of puke. PK also recently wrote about payday loans, which are my Kriptonite. PREVIEW ALERT: I wrote a little more about the industry for Monday’s post. That’s what us in the business call a tease, kids.

Here’s an article I wrote over at Motley Fool about how you can pay 0% tax in retirement. It’s a little light (because I had to stay under my word count), so I’ll expand on it for a future post. It’s a pretty interesting concept.

More stuff I wrote? Okay! Here’s an article I did for Sustainable Personal Finance where I asked if Costco is really saving you money. I love Costco as much as a man can love a store, but that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and blowjobs.

Over at Boomer and Echo, Robb weighs in on Canada’s housing bubble, telling folks they’d be CRAZEE to buy a house in Toronto or Vancouver right now. He also thinks you’re CRAZEE to do things like eat a popsicle upside down or kiss in the rain, but those are only because he’s a little scared of outside.

Money Time Blog’s John Ryan, the guy with two first names, wrote about a fun exchange a buddy of his had trying to sell a phone on Craigslist. And then John tried to sell his body on Craigslist but couldn’t get bids higher than 80 cents. Hey John, pro tip. The hookers hang out on Kijiji.

And that’s about it. There’s probably more but like I’m going to go through six months of back posts. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Sunday Morning Dump: Super Duper Edition

Oh, that title will make sense in about 6 paragraphs, and spoiler alert, it might be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen.

In the investment world, a lot gets talked about when it comes to investing in companies with a certain competitive advantage. Thanks to Warren Buffett, value investors often refer to this competitive advantage as a moat.

As an example, Canada’s telecom companies have a huge moat. If we actually got a 4th national wireless player, this company would have to spend billions of dollars just to get a poor network that crossed the country. It would take at least $10 billion to make a network of any size. That’s a moat, but it’s not an impenetrable one. Often, the moat is simply the company’s years of experience in the business. Again, that’s a moat, but it’s not a great one.

When it comes to Canada’s grocery business, there’s no company with a moat to speak of. There’s a huge percentage of the population that simply goes to wherever they can find the cheapest loaf of bread.

I toured a store this weekend of a small Alberta chain that’s doing its best to create a chain of high end stores with an emphasis on fresh departments.  They’ve invested in things like a high end meat smoker, ultra modern bakery ovens, and so on, in an attempt to make good in-house items that people are willing to pay a premium for. It’s a terrific example of a company creating a moat just by being unique.

If you have a business, having this attitude will prove to be beneficial. It can be as simple as providing excellent customer service (real excellent customer service, not corporate speak BS where you just assume you’re doing it), or showing up when you said. It’s something we all need to work on, including this author.

Song I like and therefore you should too

Geez, that was a little too serious. (fart) Ah, that’s better.

I’m not exactly sure what a Hoobastank is, but it made at least one catchy song.

Simpsons quote

Marge: Homey, it looks like you’re putting all your eggs in one basket.

Homer: What would you have me do? One basket for each egg?

Thing you should watch

I started watching Mr. D on Netflix, the Canadian show about a very inept teacher. I didn’t have high expectations going in, but it’s actually really funny. I’ve had to resist being one of those guys who binge watches the whole season at a time, mostly because I want to drown those types in a toilet.

Anyway, it’s a documentary of the men who go over to the pre-war Ukraine and search for wives.

Post you might have missed

A little over a year ago, I treated you all to my favorite frozen pizza, and then loosely tied it into some poor finance lesson. I believe the words you’re looking for are “thank you, oh glorious blogger of things.” That’s a little over the top, but I accept it.

I went into Safeway yesterday for some lunch, and the fresh food department had a 2-for-1 special on pizza. I ended up getting two slices and a drink for less than $4. I was pretty proud of my deal getting prowess, until I actually ate the pizza. It was pretty obvious why they had to discount it to get it out the door.

Nelson’s so funny

While I’m talking about public washrooms, hot damn the hot air dryers are the worst. No, bathroom, I don’t want to dry my hands with recycled poo air. They never work worth a crap either, meaning my hands get half dry and I just curse and dry them on my pants. I would gladly destroy the environment with paper towels than have to deal with this.

I’m pretty sure that’s the entire reason why we have people who refuse to poo in public.

Dirty word in Words With Friends

I dunno… My phone is all the way over there, and I’m very comfortable under the covers. So I’ll just make up something dirty sounding, like fart stripper. Or vagina monologue. Or penis breath. None of those things can possibly be real.

If you want to play me, my user is nelsmi, but there’s not a single one of you left that plays. It’s okay, I’ll just weep in disappointment. YOU CAUSED THAT I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

Funny picture

BEHOLD. My mother’s new email address.


Don’t worry, she no longer has that email address. Her initials are BJS, and apparently she believes she’s super duper. And that’s as far as I’m going with that joke, considering how it’s my mother.

Babe loosely related to finance

Considering how she was all Canada talked about this week, I gotta go with Eugenie Bouchard, Canada’s only woman who has not sucked at tennis.


Oh, NOW I know why everyone is cheering for her so hard. GO MY NEW FAVORITE TENNIS PLAYER GO.

Time for links

Let’s start things off with a piece from MacLeans, about why the business of Canadian golf is in big trouble. It’s interesting stuff, even if you’re not a golfer.

You know how people say that Canada can’t have a real estate meltdown like the U.S. because we have recourse mortgages? Garth Turner exposes that falsehood like a creep hanging around the swing set.

Keeping with the real estate theme, Don’t Quit Your Day Job compared Canada’s real estate market to the Beanie Baby craze of the late 1990s. Ah, Beanie Babies. For people who just weren’t smart enough to buy tech stocks.

Apparently it’s real estate week in the link dump, cause here’s Boomer and Echo on why you shouldn’t put all your money towards paying off your mortgage. Imagine how much it would suck if you worked hard to pay down half of a mortgage of a house that you bought at the peak of the market, and then lose most of that equity because values went down.

And that’s all I got. Have a good week everyone.