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Sep 112015

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to get stock tips or have investing ideas delivered to your email. I’m also on The Twitter.Thanks for visiting!Tweet If there’s anything more hated in the world of personal finance and online money talk, I’ve yet to encounter it. And y’all know how much I’m hated. Yes, I’m talking about the financial equivalent of doing meth off of a hooker’s cleavage, the payday loan. Feel free to become outraged enough to throw things at your computer screen. In fact, I insist. Read More […]

 Posted by at 9:44 am
Sep 092015

Tweet As I’ve mentioned approximately 5,395 times on the FU machine (author’s estimate, although I’m 99% sure that’s right), your feelings are mostly getting in the way of financial success. People do silly things like refuse to take interest free (or heavily subsidized) loans from their parents because of things like “pride”, even though taking a loan like that can potentially save them thousands in interest. The same logic applies to heavily-indebted millennials who refuse to move back into their parents’ basement. In fact, I’m willing to bet there’s a pretty Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Sep 082015

Tweet Each September the leaves start to turn a potpourri of gold, brown, and red, the kids head back to school, and Nelson has to pay his car insurance bill. Oh, and you slackers take an extra day off even though most of you don’t deserve it. When I first got my car, the insurance bill more painful than that time a baby accidentally stepped on my balls. I was shelling out more than $2000 per year, even though my car wasn’t getting me laid on the reg. What’s the point Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Sep 042015

Tweet Because hey, the last time I did one of these was when the Lindbergh baby was a thing. Let me open up this bloggening by telling y’all about my new chair. Oh sweet Jesus, this chair is the greatest thing since God invented pillows. And not just sweater pillows either. Like a maroon, I thought I’d be good with using a hand-me-down chair which I bought used at an auction sale, kinda like that time I did my best impression of the Storage Wars guys. It was $20, and Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Sep 022015

Tweet Last week, in one of my never-ending attempts to beat the market without trying, I presented y’all with a simple sector rotation approach. Each year, you’d automatically buy the sector that did the worst, punting it out at the end of the year for that year’s worst performing sector. Long story short, it didn’t work, at least over the last decade. The Canadian version of the test was killed in the last couple of years when it went all-in on gold during the worst possible time, actually finishing negative Read More […]

 Posted by at 9:22 am
Aug 312015

Tweet In the world of personal finances, retirement savings, and sexy fun times, there’s a common refrain out there. You better save your ass off when you’re young, or else you’ll only have 14 nickels to rub together once you hit retirement age. You’ll be so concerned about cash that you’ll barely be able to enjoy your lightly salted meat and non-threatening television programming. Oh look Mildred! Matlock is on. I’m not going to deny running out of money is a very legitimate retirement threat, because of course it is. Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Aug 282015

Tweet Here at the ol’ FU machine, we’re big fans of passive income. And by we, I really mean me and my 14 imaginary friends. One went back in time to kill Hitler. His name is, ironically, Adolf. There are quite a few ways you can generate a stream of passive income. Probably the most popular is to buy a stream of steady dividend payers, preferably stocks that raise said dividend each year. I’ve already said my piece against that a million times so I’ll just say this. I would Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Aug 262015

Tweet HELLO, STOCK VOLATILITY. Over the last couple of days, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has been more up and down than your average neighborhood crackhead. All sorts of things have been blamed for the volatility, from China’s hilariously inept efforts to deal with the implosion of stock markets there, to all the high frequency traders that sell everything immediately once some algorithm kicks in. But really, it’s God’s fault. He simply doesn’t want you to be rich. He’s seen what you do under the covers, and does not approve. Anyhoo, Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Aug 242015

Tweet Here at the ol’ FU machine (which is capable of love and hate, FYI), we like to do little experiments. There was that time I tried to figure out if you could blindly pick the worst performing dividend aristocrats and outperform the market, and then there was that time I told y’all to just stop buying train tickets, which are totally similar enough to mention in the same sentence. So yeah, Einstein, I think I know a thing or two about experiments. Don’t you have a baby to make Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am
Aug 212015

Tweet Last week, I interviewed Donald Trump, and the week before I interviewed Kevin O’Leary. In the finale of the interview series, I sat down with Generic Debt Blogger, who has a (mostly) neglected Twitter account, and once did a guest post here at Financial Uproar.   Nelson: Generic Debt Blogger, thanks for joining us on the interview series. Do you have an actual name, or should I call you GDB? GDB: My name is Madison. Or Piper. Or Lena. Think of the most derivative name you remember from college, and I Read More […]

 Posted by at 4:20 am