Sunday Morning Dump: Ruffled, Hookers, Jackie O

Hey, it’s been a while since I did one of these, huh? You’ll notice this here blog is a lot spiffier than it used to be. I’ve never been one for obsessing about how this thing looked, but I wasn’t really satisfied with my old design. So I asked... read more

A Message to 2016 Graduates

If you’re actually graduating this year, you were probably treated to a big long ceremony which included a speech from some C-list celebrity that peaked in 2003. Wilmer Valderama, come on down. Hey, not all of us can have Andy Samberg show up.¬†Seriously, take 20... read more

When Should You Sell a Stock?

A few weeks ago I got a letter from a reader who actually exists and who isn’t my cat. I’m too lazy to go back and read it again (but hey, email me, yo!), so I’ll just give y’all the gist of it. “When should you sell a stock?” Nice... read more

No, DRIP Holders Shouldn’t Hope For Lower Prices

Many dividend investors–my favorite people in the world, after early retirees–swear by DRIPs. The acronym, which I’m pretty sure stands for Dirty Rotten Iranian Porn (ed. note: how do you function in society?), is simply a way for an investor to... read more

Your Guide to TSX Margin

If you’re like those DAMN KIDS these days, you want things now, dammit. You impatient people sicken me so much. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR GARBAGE GOD. Aside: there are approximately 4,392,991 emojis out there and not one is an old man shaking his fist at... read more

Maybe You Don’t Deserve a 30 Year Retirement

It’s good to be old in 2016. People suck up to seniors almost as much as they suck up to attractive women. Older folks get priority seating on the bus, discounts pretty much anywhere, all sorts of funding from politicians, cheaper car insurance rates, and... read more

Trip Recap: Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meeting 2016

A quick note before we begin. I don’t normally like to do posts about stuff like this. You people don’t come here for a diary of my life. You come for interesting finance information and those shirtless pictures I totally didn’t just Photoshop my... read more

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How I Saved $256.48 On My Las Vegas Hotel

And the best part is, I haven’t even showed up yet. Which should give you a pretty big hint about what I did. Every year since 2010 I’ve made the trip down south to the glitz and glamour of Sin City. I like the food, the constant buzz of The Strip, the... read more

Go Ahead, Take That Loan From Your Parents

Yes, you read that title right. Even though accepting said loan will turn you into one of these. Imagine the following scenario. You’ve spent a little beyond your means over the past few years, and now you owe $15,000 in credit card debt. Because you’re an... read more

How Your Emergency Fund Will Cost You $149,816.73

What the what? $149,816? I could, like, pay Taylor Swift and Katy Perry to have a threesome with me for that much money. I could travel to Antarctica, capture a penguin, and then eat it when it inevitably dies. (I’m assuming it tastes like chicken) I could pay... read more

That Time I Almost Went To Work For Investor’s Group

Sometimes people (usually women, let’s face it) like to think about how their lives would have been different if they had made some different decisions. What would have happened if they’d pursued that relationship? How different would life have become if... read more

Buy Assets Instead Of Going To College

If you’ve been paying attention, I’m kind of anti-college around here. I believe that college should be path to get to a specific career. If you want to be a nurse, or a teacher, or an engineer, or a crap-ton of other things, then your path will need to go... read more

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